Wednesday, December 31, 2008

It's Wednesday!

It is new years eve. I'm thinking about all the things I have to be grateful for and all the things that happened this year.

Good stuff...
1. My best friend Tori had a baby
2. Brandon got discharged from his behavior support specialist
3. Brandon got discharged from therapy after meeting all his goals
4. Brandon got approved for SSI disability and now has better health coverage
5. Kaylin is a "young lady"
6. Invega, thanks to new health coverage from SSI
7. Kaylin has gotten awesome grades all year
8. Kaylin really put forth an effort playing soccer this year
9. I was able to pay my mortgage in the month it was actually due.
10. Friends
11. Family
12. Rick and I have become a stronger unit
13. I'm pregnant!
14. Donna is alive and well
15. We are all healthy
16. Gas is more affordable

Not so good stuff
1. Grandma Bonnie passed away
2. Grandma Muggs passed away
3. Donna (Rick's Mom) was found face down in the pool (see #14 above)
4. Dick and his mental health issues (still on going)
5. Car accident (see #15 above)

I'm sure there is more good, and more not so good. I know that for the most part it was an awesome year of growth for our family. Next year will bring more challenges with a new baby and balancing work, the house and three kids.
Happy New Years everyone!

Monday, December 29, 2008

Holy Crap, I survived

I survived the most awkward weekend of my life. My ex husband (the one in prison), his father and wife came to spend the weekend with us with their dogs. Before he came I explained Brandon to him. He has not seen his grandson in over 4 years, which means Brandon was about 3 years old. I explained how we deal with him, and how he cannot interfere with how we handle him, even if it pisses him off. I also tried to explain Brandon's aspergers as best as I could to an ignorant person. I do have to say that Brandon was awesome. He had major changes to his schedule and people in his area, and for the most part did pretty darn good. I could tell the difference, we had a few minor melt downs, and alot of whining, alot of hiding and covering with blankets, a few time outs, some brushing, and snuggling. No violent outbursts, no throwing things, no 3 hours complete meltdowns while repeating "I wanna get out" for 2 hours. To others he would have been a whiny little brat and to me it was a moment of extreme proudness to all the progress he has made. Last year, it would have been unbearable, this year, it was mostly pleasant.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Allstate sucks, and liars too...

Okay, so my car got %$@#-ed up on Friday. You know that part. Well I went to the hospital they told me to go home and rest, ya dee dah dee dah. My insurance company, Progressive, had called and left me a message wanting my side of the story. I called the adjuster back and gave him my side of the story. He asked me a bunch of questions, then he told me that my story and the guy who hit me's story were completely different. He told the cops and both insurance companies that traffic was moving and I changed lanes in front of him, so he had no choice but to hit me. This is NOT true AT ALL! I was at a stop light and got hit. His insurance company called me Monday and I gave my statement to them. They won't give me rental car or fix mine until an investigation has been completed. So to that guy who can't tell the truth, I forgive you. And to the Allstate chick Dawn, I know you are trying to do your job. But this really stinks, I will have no car for possibly two weeks or more and I'm tired of people telling me to get a lawyer.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

bye bye car

Okay, had an interesting week. I am finally feeling like a human again, which is awesome. Still kinda tired, but what else can I expect? It started I guess on Thursday, that's when 1 and 2 occurred. 1, my Muggs passed away. She's my "step" grandma, I hate the term "step", she's my grandma, just not biological. 2, Ricks dad was being released from the mental hospital, even though he's still nuts. 3, on my way to work I got rear ended and my car is totalled. So my 3 are done, and I can start the year off fresh. Right?

Monday, December 15, 2008

Wow, I think I'm a human again.

Well, in the great first trimester fog of pregnancy I became a useless, nauseous, exhausted shell of who I was. At eleven weeks, I think, I hope, that this sucky part is over. I guess I better do some filling in on the events and we will pick up at Thanksgiving. Kaylin was with her dad for turkey break, so Brandon and I went to my moms and Rick went to his moms. My mom's turkey day was picture perfect, joking, laughing, reminiscing. Ricks, on the other hand was not so pleasant. His dad was not so nice, and we ended up calling the police. Shortly after turkey day the police picked him up and admitted him to the adult in patient mental health place. He's angry and not happy with the family. We had our holiday party at work, and had a nice time. It sucked that I couldn't drink, but hey, what can ya do! Ricks was the next day and it was lame. Really lame. I won't get into, it's not worth mentioning. Brandon's therapist came and is discharging him from therapy. Apparently he has met his goals. I am so proud of how far he has come. Last weekend my friends Cathy and Eileen came over from Melbourne to clean my house. What a blessing! I was so overwhelmed with feeling terrible. I feel so much less stressed now.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

and one flew over the coo coo's nest

This time it wasn't Brandon. They picked up Rick's dad last night, as in Baker Act. If I would have been worth anything this past few weeks I would have blogged about Thanksgiving and it's exciting events in which the police visited with us. Rick is obviously feeling overwhelmed and confused. He's scared for his family and what will become of them all after he is realeased. Will he be angry, hateful, and resentful? Will he realize that he has a disease and seek treatment for it? Will his parents get a divorce? Either way, things won't be the same.

My friend Fran had her first chemo on Monday and is doing great!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

umm, I dunno?

Brandon has been feeling much better and is on the mend from a nasty case of strep throat. He made it back to gold level at school and they went to a field trip yesterday to Van wezel and saw Suessical. He really liked it and when he came home had a terrible afternoon/evening. Still not sure what it was all about. He walked in the door from school like that and continued after I got home. The both screamed at each other and were cruel and terrible to each other. I screamed abit, cooked dinner, watched tv,then went to bed. How am I gonna deal with an another one?

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Brandon has strep throat

Brandon has strep throat, nuff said.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

no meeting?

No team meeting today. The wrap coordinator is really sick. It sucks because I wanted to show them all how awesome Brandon is doing. It's good because I don't have the energy to pick up my house. If I don't do it, it doesn't get done. I guess it's a little too much to ask for some help! Oh well, once this first trimester is over I may feel like a human again. That would be nice.

And by the way, the kids are sick and this is the worst week in all of payroll because thanksgiving is on a Thursday.

Friday, November 21, 2008

let the blogging begin

Well, it's been kinda crappy here in blog land. I've been lazy and neglectful. You see I've got this problem, and i don't feel well because of it. It will go away after another 4-5 weeks or so I've heard..... It's just how it goes. I don't remember it being like this with the first two. I have NO energy. All I can do is sleep. I have never been so tired before. I take a nap at work on my lunch break. I come home and sleep for half an hour before I can do anything. My house is a mess and I'm cranky and whiny. O what fun.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

I am the suckiest daughter in the world.

Yes, you read it here first. Saturday was my dad's birthday. It's easy to remember because it's so close to mine. Someway, somehow, I didn't call him. I know his birthday is on the 15th, I just didn't realize SATURDAY was the 15th. I am his only child, and I totally suck. I called him Monday morning when I got to work and turned the dates on the calender. He said he wasn't mad, but something in his voice said he wasn't happy. I really hope I didn't hurt his feelings too badly. I love him and he is the awesomest dad in the whole fricken world. I win, hands down, suckiest child of the year award......

Friday, November 14, 2008

Short weekend away!

We are going on a short weekend away. Tomorrow after soccer we will come home and pack our overnight bags and go to the Everglades for fishing and a cheap hotel visit. We won't be able to do this for a long time, Rick just got cut to part time. Not good, bad timing. Brandon got another 100% in school today and said his field trip was "awesome". So I'm excited about getting away, but worried about Rick's cut to part time. What's left after part time is no time....

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Brandon got a 100% in school so he got to pick a prize from the prize bag, but he has been whining and agitated all night. Right now he is in the bath tub. I hope he can self regulate himself. I bath usually re directs him. Tomorrow he goes on a field trip at school to Oscar Scherer Park to learn about nature and pick up trash.

In candle news....In two days I sold $120 in candles. I am running out of jars and scents to make. It seems to be a little too successful. Now people are making special orders and driving me crazy.

I am still cranky and feel kinda blech. Still not smoking and it's a little easier now.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Brandon saw Dr Hubbard today, she is happy with his progress and so am I. We are going to go a little higher with the Invega and see if that will seal the deal. I'm very tired today, and a little cranky with this no smoking thing but am staying strong. Rick and the kids are doing karaoke in the living room, and I think I will join them. Stay tuned...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

okay, I know, I suck

I realize that I suck lately. I haven't been blogging about Brandon or Kaylin. I just kinda bitch and moan about my own personal garbage instead of the reason I started this blog. My head has been up my ass and I'm sorry. Brandon is doing well. He is sleeping in his bed, which is good, since he prefers the couch. He's not doing as well in school, he's moved to silver level. I took him to OT and she gave me a sensory diet for him, all I've done is read it. I haven't implemented anything into his schedule. If I did, I know it would help him even more. I am more conscious of him and his behaviors. I know where he is at in a mood and how to get him out of it. His meds have been right on target, and he will see Dr Hubbard tomorrow. I guess I've been taken a break from it all. Is that bad? I guess it is and I answered my own question. I should keep going, even when he is doing well.

Monday, November 10, 2008

I quit smoking!

I quit smoking! I am a nasty mean bitch. Stay away!!!!!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

The weekend

This weekend was pretty nice. Saturday Rick had to work. Brandon, Kaylin and I went to her soccer game and the team totally bombed out. The game was 0-3 up until the last 3 minutes when they scored 2 goals, but still lost. At least it wasn't a shut out. After that we went to Target, I had a baby shower to go to and she was registered there. I picked her up a boppy pillow, got Brandon a halloween costume of Optimus Prime (90% off), bought Tylenol, Tums, and vitamins, and Kaylin picked out a High School Musical III CD to burn onto her MP3 player. We came home and picked up the house, the kids did the living room and their bedrooms, I worked on laundry and the kitchen. I got several batches of caramel pecan pie candles done. Rick came home and I took off to the baby shower at Olive Garden. It was a nice shower, she received most of the things she needed for her baby which was nice. I came home, we got ready and went to Night on Dearborn, Rick's sister owns a shop there and once a month they have an activity where all the shop owners stay open late and do stuff for the community. Last night they had horse drawn wagon rides. The horse was a retired race horse who was injured during a race, these people rehabilitate them and teach the public what they do. The horse's name was Junior and he was a 4 year old race horse. After that we went to Rick's friend Frank's house. I think he had us come with him so I could drive him home! I will post this now and finish up later.

Thursday, November 6, 2008

birthday thoughtfullness

Rick went and did it again, he surprised me. Every once in awhile he does something so thoughtful and sweet it makes me fall in love with him all over again. Rick is your basic burping, farting, scratching, beer drinking, football watching guy kinda guy. He thinks in very basic terms, which is probably pretty good, since I'm pretty low maintenance. Rick is not the love of my life, and I am completely, truly, comfortable and okay with this. Rick is my best friend and our relationship is based on that and our love has grown from our friendship to what it is now. The one love of my life had completely destroyed me and my kids, the man I thought I loved, was someone completely different and our entire relationship was based on lies and deception. If you know me, you know my story. If you don't know me, you don't want to know this story. With Rick I have love, trust, honesty, acceptance, and comfort. To me, that is more important for the long haul. I guess I got a little off track there...last night Rick called to tell me he was running late because he had a delivery in Sarasota, I said okay, no worries. He got home and we ordered Chinese food. We had beef and broccoli with lo mein, General Tso's chicken with fried rice, crab rangoon, egg rolls, and fried dumplings. It was awesome! He then gave me my birthday present, a book by Dean Koontz (which is my favorite author)and chocolate with nuts in a pretty bag and a nice card. Sounds like a normal boyfriend present type thing, right? This is not the typical Rick, he wraps presents in Walmart bags and rarely if ever gives cards. Rick earned himself some boyfriend bonus points.

In other birthday news....my dad sent my vacuum seal bags, 4 lbs of coffee beans, a new cordless phone, and a $50 gift card for amazon. I'm totally excited! My dad has always been the best at birthdays and Christmas stuff. My mom stopped by and gave me a really nice card with a gift card for Bealls outlet. The girls at work bought me some balloons, a card, and made caramel sundaes. Overall it was an awesome birthday.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

1st batch of candles are complete!

I made my first two batches of soy candles last night. I did two pounds of apple cinnamon and 1 pound of Christmas Morning (at Rick's request). They came out pretty good, the color wasn't dark enough. Instead of red, they are pink, but the scent is pretty good. It could be a little stronger. I will do a burn test tonight to check the scent throw and see how the wicks work. I will not make any more candles until the rest of my equipment arrives (digital scale, measuring cup, wisk) that way I can measure things accurately and keep all the batches consistent. I just had to make some last night when the wax arrived, I was so excited.

And Happy Birthday to me! I have two boxes from my daddy. I can't wait until I get home to open them. The girls at work brought in some balloons and a funny card. Casey gave me a gift certificate for my favorite coffee shop. Mmmmm................ Tonight we are having Chinese food for dinner. The rest of the night I will work on washing more clothes. Brandon WAS excited about my birthday until he found out I had to work and wasn't keeping him home from school. Now he hates me and school.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Don't forget

It's voting day, the day before my birthday. How many people can say they get a president for their birthdays?

Sunday, November 2, 2008

I love electricity, indoor plumbing, and running water

The kids and I are home from camping. Rick stayed another night, since he doesn't have to work tomorrow. We had a relaxing time and the weather was absolutely gorgeous. Saturday morning Kaylin had her soccer game, they won again 3-2 and it was actually an exciting game. We ran home and loaded up the car. Somehow, I'm not quite sure how, we got everything in my car. Two children, 1 me, two tents, one large blue tote, a large cooler, 4 chairs, clothes for everyone, and pillows and blankets all squished in my Buick. We made it to the camp site about 1 pm Saturday and got camp set up, Pat and Tori were already set with their camp. They had to use a trailer to get all the baby shit there. We had PB&J for lunch. The kids had fun catching these giant millipede bugs all over the camp grounds. Rick showed up probably about 6pm, he had to work and do inventory at the store. Tori's mom and boyfriend showed up for dinner and later that night Teresa and Vincent stopped by. Brandon had been not so patiently waiting all day for Vincent to get there and once he showed up Brandon wanted nothing to do with him. Vincent wanted to play super heroes and Brandon didn't. They pretty much fought and disagreed the whole time. Brandon was mad at him for having so much energy. After Teresa, Vincent, Tori's mom and boyfriend left the kids went right to sleep. After awhile I did too, I crawled into the tent and about half an hour later I felt a rock in my back, the air mattress popped. When Rick came to bed he was so uncomfortable he slept in a chair. Now we will upgrade to a queen air mattress instead of the double. I'll look out for one on sale and depending on the price we will get one for the kids. We ate dinner (spaghetti and meat sauce) at the camp grounds and then headed home, I called my dad on the way just to chit chat, I try to talk to him every weekend just to kinda check in. The dogs were so happy to see us, Sadie is still looking for Rick to come. I finally got the car unloaded and right now the clothes are all in the wash, the cooler is emptied, the dishwasher is running, the kids are bathed and comfy on the couch. I think I will sleep like a rock.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Pumpkin Time

The kids carved pumpkins tonight. They fought, and argued but eventually got it done. It came out pretty cool. Next year I think we will do more pumpkins, but we are going camping this weekend, so I didn't want rotten pumpkins sitting out all weekend. Tomorrow is trick or treat nite, Kaylin will be a witch and Brandon will be Batman. We are going to bring Vincent and his parents with us to meet up with Pat, Tori, and the baby. It should be pretty fun. Right now we have the tents set up in the front yard airing out, and have all our stuff totes packed up. All I have left to do is food shop and pack clothes and other little stuff. I think I'm excited about camping, or at least I will be. It requires so much work, and Rick is pretty useless at this kinda stuff. He just kinda stands around looking like a lost puppy. Tomorrow at work we are having a holiday pot luck, so I'm making chicken and rice in the crock pot. In the morning I'll just throw it all together and then plug it in when I get to work. I'm going to leave at 4 so I can get home and get the kids fed and ready, plus I have to take the tents down and pack them and the car up.

I received an email notification that my candle supply orders are shipping, the first arriving tomorrow, the second by Thursday. Today I ordered more scents after reading how much scent I needed per pound of soy wax. I picked Lavender Vanilla, Lick Me All Over, Love Spell, Stress Relief, Butt Naked, Christmas Tree, Home Sweet Home, Banana Nut Bread and Dragon's Blood. I am getting really excited about this. I think this will be really successful. I can't decide if I'm going to make my own labels and use cloth squares and ties for the lid to give it that country home made look (which they are), or if I will order the labels and just slap them on. It would be more cost effective to do them myself, but my printer kinda sucks. Decisions, decisions....

Wednesday's suck.

Well this one did. It wasn't bad, I did have a nice evening with the kids, Rick wasn't there though. Immediately after I got home from work I took Brandon to Publix, I was gonna make chili for dinner. I picked up kidney beans, diced tomatoes, Tostido scoops, sour cream, and corn muffins. I had Kaylin brown the ground beef while Brandon and I shopped. While I was unloading the shopping cart, Rick called to tell me he wouldn't be home until after 8pm, he was gonna stop at his tenants and pick up rent, then go to his friends house to hang out for a bit. I reminded him that it was Wednesday (wink-wink) and I had made a good dinner. He told me he was gonna eat at his friends house. The kids and I ate our chili, which came out really awesome, and watched RV. We laughed so hard, it was such a funny movie. I made them smoothies after the movie was over. Rick finally came home, after 8pm, and watched the world series, but what can you do? I had an awesome night with my kids and that makes it good with me.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

It's hump day, oh yeah.

We are half way through the week now. It is hump day. Wednesday's are special for me-when Rick and I first met, he would come over Wednesday nights and bring dinner, usually Chinese, or Stouffers veggie lasagna, some times Superday spinach pizza, we would watch TV and after the kids went to bed, well you can figure out the rest. Wednesday's are usually our night, it just stuck after two years of every Wednesday it has now become a routine. I guess it's nice, but it also makes me feel like an old fart.

I'm at work right now, making some sort of an attempt to look busy, and trying not get caught being online. I just don't have love for this job anymore. It's a paycheck and that's it. There are so many perks to working for this company they treat us well, they pay 100% of my medical/vision/dental, match 4% of my 401 K, and give us two raises a year, plus generous bonuses throughout the year. I am grateful for my job, and I'm good at it. I guess I'm just stuck in a rut. I do the same thing everyday, over and over again. It doesn't excite me anymore, I'm very comfortable in my job which is good and bad. Well enough bitching and moaning about stuped shit. I am extremly grateful for this job, especially with how the economy is right now, most people I know have been laid off, or know someone who has been laid off.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Yippie Skippy, another team meeting...

Yet another team meeting has come and gone. No one comes to them anymore, most people quit, some have headaches, etc, etc and so on and so forth. We have been in this program for almost 2 years, and only recently have started heading in any sort of direction. Tonight I told my wrap coordinator that we are ready to transition out of the program. Through them I found Brandon's super fantastical therapist, met a really awesome behavior support specialist who graduated us, and got Brandon an OT evaluation and him set up on a sensory diet. The rest was a learning experience. Of course since we had people at the house Brandon got revved up, he calmed himself down and I gave him a bath to bring my sweet little boy back. My mom came, the therapist was here for only a few minutes (she had to leave on an emergency), and my wrap coordinator. I'm not allowed to have a family mentor anymore, but I don't need or want one anyway!

In other news, it is so frickin cold, it like 60 degrees outside! I had to go on my lunch break and buy the kids jackets. Brandon got put on the bus with a blanket, since his jacket didn't fit from last year. I know, I suck. It's not suppose to get cold in Florida, how was I supposed to know? I did find some cute dresses for work, with the color clearance stickers, and a purple shirt that will look awesome with black pants or a shirt. I forgot to add that I am the most horrible-ist mother in the whole world, I sent my bleeding, cramping 11 year old to school! Can you believe it? I told her to take some Midol and get on the bus, she still has at least forty more years of this to deal with. I do feel sympathy for her, I know and you know how it feels. She just can't miss school for 3-5 days every month.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Silly, Hopeful me..

Okay, well I have a secret. Nothing juicy, nothing you need to pick up your phone and call anyone about. I've always wanted to start my own side business making hand made soy candles and cold process soaps into custom gift baskets. I have wanted to do this for at least 8 years now. I actually have a written out business plan and the whole nine yards. I just don't have the money or the balls to get it going. I'm scared of failure. There it is, my dirty little secret. It goes right along with me dreaming of having a farm with chickens, pigs, goats, and a huge vegetable and herb garden. I made a decision last night, I decided that I was going to start a small part of my dream. I am going to start making soy candles. I ordered some stuff in small batches to see how it goes, I know I can sell the candles at work with no problem, especially with the holidays coming up. I choose Apple Cinnamon, Christmas Morning, Vanilla Bean, Coffee Caramel Cream, and Caramel Pecan Pie as my first scents. Cross you fingers and don't laugh to hard at me...

Forgiven

Hello. I forgive you, I hope you forgive me for being so hard headed. It was hard to stay mad at you, especially since I love you guys so much. I never read your original post, I just put things together with the comments that were made. It really hurt me by what the other parents were saying. I do all that I can to help Brandon, I'm not a bad parent, and things just suck sometimes. Well, I guess we don't need to play catch up since we read each other's blogs. LOL. Love you

Sunday, October 26, 2008

A Girly Girl Day

Saturday we did Kaylin's birthday shindig. Kaylin, her two friends Brittney, Jess (Kaylin's step mom) and I went to see High School Musical 3, after that we went and got our fingernails painted and we to Chick fil A for some dinner. It was really interesting to listen to their tween conversation about Hannah Montana (which they don't like), Jonas Brothers, and Zac Effron (which they REALLY like). I made some sort of a pathetic attempt to converse with these strange creatures in the back seat of my car, they met me with eye rolling, and "oh my god, your mom is sooooo weird". Oh, well...I tried. Kaylin had some sort of allergic reaction to the food at Chick Fil A, I think I'm going to file a format complaint with their corporate office. Immediately after leaving there, she starting giggling, and giggling, and giggling. I think you get the point, she didn't stop for over an hour. We dropped off all the girls and came back to the house, I packed Kaylin up and sent her with Jess. Maureen had picked up Brandon already, so we were all alone. You think we would know what to do with ourselves, but we didn't. Did we want to go do karaoke? No. Dinner? No. Sports Bar? No. Yet again, I spent a hot, sweaty, steamy date night on the El Jo Bean fishing pier. Didn't catch a damn thing either.

Friday, October 24, 2008

TGIF

I'm happy it's Friday. The week is finally close to an end. It's been a tiring week, one that I could have slept through if I wanted to. I think it's the emotional let down of my grandma dying, the service, and Fran's breast cancer diagnosis. I just feel drained. This weekend will be a good one though. Kaylin's friend is spending the night tonight and tomorrow Kaylin, Brittney, Brittany, Jess, and I will go see High School Musical 3, while Brandon goes to hang out with Vincent ( Thank you Teresa! ). Afterwards we will get our fingernails painted, and probably eat at Olive Garden. Maureen is suppose to pick up Brandon Saturday night, and Kaylin will be at her dads. That means there is a possibility of going on a date. Hopefully this time we won't eat cheese steaks and go fishing. I'm hoping for romantical, but will take what I can get!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

oops

Ooops, I realized that I am getting away from the reason I started this blog. It's suppose to be about how I deal with Brandon, how I help him to achieve his goals, how we advocate for him, and how we manage as a family. I turned it into my own venting tool where I can bitch and moan and reflect on certain issues. I guess I need this blog more than Brandon does. So instead of from now on focusing on Brandon, I will let this blog go in what ever direction it heads in and see what happens.

Cancer sucks

This I have decided a long time ago. My grandma Davidson had, and beat colon cancer many years ago. Rick's family member, Vicki, fought and lost her fight with breast cancer. A high school friend, Melissa, is in battle with thyroid cancer. One of my best friends, Fran, just got diagnosed with breast cancer last week and is having a modified radical mastectomy tomorrow. My grandma Bonnie just lost her battle with cancer. It sucks. What do you say? What can you do? I posted a poem on myspace that I found on line, it said alot to me. You are someone that knows some one that has cancer, has cancer, will get cancer, or will be lost to cancer.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Genetics today!

Today we went to genetics at All Children's Hospital in St. Petersburg today. It was a long drive, and I'm grateful that my mom came with me for the ride with Brandon. We got there 45 minutes early, so we chatted and read. I do have to say that Brandon did awesome, he was so well behaved. They brought us into a room and the physicians assistant, Troy, asked us a bazillion questions about both mine and his father's side of the family. My mom was there to help with my side of the family, I don't know very much about his father's side, and don't care to. I really wish his DNA wasn't involved with Brandon. Brandon can have my DNA, it works just fine. After the assistant asked us every question under the sun. we met with the doctor. She was really nice, she measured his nose, eyes, ears, fingers and cafe au lait spots. She said we would monitor his condition, that he does have characteristics of neurofibromatosis and it would likely explain his learning problems and behaviors. She wants me to take him to the pediatrician every three months to monitor his blood pressure and spine for scoliosis. My mom brought up his leg pains, and the doctor suggested we take him to an orthopedic specialist for that. I still have to take him to the neurologist! So many doctors, so little PTO left...

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday recaped

Thursday I worked. I got home from work, got prettied up had Rick drop me and my cousin Amanda (from Ohio) off at Coyotes and we drank beer, played pool and danced with my cousin Amber. Rick picked our drunk butts off. We dropped Amanda off, and went home. When we got home, Brandon started screaming his mouth hurt. And he didn't stop, at all, all night. I did not sleep. Finally I took him to the ER Friday morning, they looked in his mouth and told me to take him to a dentist and give him Motrin. Duh. I called the dentist and she wasn't in on Friday, the office staff called her, and they called me back. They called in anti-biotics and told me to give him Motrin. I went home, went to sleep for an hour, woke up cleaned, cooked, and walked around in a sleepless fog getting ready for Kaylin' s birthday party. Everyone showed up at 6pm. We ate spaghetti, cake, opened presents. Kaylin got over $100 b-day money, two Nintendo DS games, a craft kit, and a goody bag of misc. 11 year old stuff. The people left, I went to bed at 8:40 a slept like a frickin rock. Saturday morning we went to Kaylin's soccer game. She did good, she really tried and it was a good game. They won 3-0 and are undefeated!! After soccer we went to Sam's Club to pick up the deli trays, rolls, and veggies. Then we came home and got ready for the memorial service. I took Kaylin with me to my moms and Brandon stayed home with Rick while I got my moms house ready for company. We went to the church for the service and it was set up beautifully, my mother sung a hymn and the pastor read a poem my mom wrote. I don't think there was a dry eye in the house. Immediately after the service I rushed back to my moms to put the food out and light all the candles. Everything was beautiful. We had a prayer circle and ate, drank and had a good time thinking about grandma. As the night went on people got drunker and drunker. I had to do three beer runs since I wasn't drinking. My mother got bombed they went through 1 box, 2 large and one small bottle of wine. Everyone left at about 1am. I put my drunk mother to bed after washing her face, putting her jammies on, giving her a barf bucket and washcloth. Sunday was nice, I had my bible study in the morning, took the kids to Walmart so Kaylin could spend her birthday money. She bought a MP3 player and a voice activated journal and a DS game. Brandon got a transformer. I picked up the house when we got home, and Kaylin's dad Jim and step mom Jess came for dinner to celebrate Kaylin's birthday. We had a really nice time.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

A mixed day

Today was a weird one of sorts. I had today off. Brandon had his MRI done of his orbits, which he slept through also. Rick drove him to school. I came home and gutted Kaylin's room for company that will be coming. By the time I was finished with her room, my mom called and was ready to go to Sam's Club shopping. We went to Sam's, got what we needed, ordered deli meat trays and left. We went to Walmart and CVS. I dropped her off and left to pick up Brandon from school. I took him to his OT appointment which was pretty cool. She gave me a sensory diet, taught me how to brush him, and do joint compressions. We stopped at The Dollar Tree so Brandon could pick out a birthday present for his sister, and headed home. I picked up Kaylin and went to my moms to visit with my Aunt Jenny and cousin Amanda. We came home and did our home stuff. One of my best friends called and told me she was diagnosed with breast cancer. That really sucks, she's like another mother to me, and a grandmother to my kids. I want to ask God, "why her?", but I know I can't have the answer to that question.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

People Suck

I've decided that sometimes people suck. You all know that my grandmother died, and that I've taken 3 days bereavement (which is outlined in our company manual-3 days paid bereavement for immediate family) well apparently certain people, mainly person, feels that is inappropriate because it interferes with their time off. I'm not saying that that person does not deserve their time off, they do, just as I am to my 3 days bereavement. What I am saying is you should not hold it against me, or ignore, or treat me any differently. Agree? Well you should, it makes sense. I don't think I should feel guilty, and I do. I feel like I'm letting my team down, as they are making me feel that way with their comments. Only Janice and Casey are making me feel alright about it, which I'm grateful for, otherwise today would have been unbearable.

In other news, Brandon is on his new meds and I can't wait for it to build up in his system. Hopefully we will see some benefits VERY soon. Him without Risperdal is not a pretty picture.

Tomorrow I have off. At 8 Brandon has his MRI of his eyes, then Rick will take him to school since he works in Venice tomorrow. Then I pick up my mom and we go shopping for the reception, then I go home and clean until Brandon gets out of school. I will pick him up tomorrow and take him to the Florida Center to get some OT tips from Claire. I hope I will get most of the house deep cleaned for company. I can't even take a day off without trying to stuff as many things into as I can. What is wrong with me?

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Sunday, Sunday..

Sunday I didn't get to sleep in. The door bell woke me up, it was Brandon's friends mom pickup up her son, at 8:30. The nice thing about getting woken up with goo still in my eyes, having Don King hair, is she offered to take Brandon for a few hours. I decided to run errands, since I have been on a mad search for peach tablecloths, plates, cups, and napkins. Well apparently the world isn't ready for peach tableware. First I went to Walmart, if they don't have it, you don't need it, right? Well they didn't have them, and after speaking with my mother, we do in fact HAVE to have peach. I tried Dollar General, Dollar Tree, and LTM Party Supply. No frickin peach. I did by other stuff I needed and it was really nice to go shopping all by myself. After my useless errand running I stopped at the pharmacy to fight with them about Brandon's medicine, since that's what I normally have to do with a new script. Well, wouldn't ya know, there were rainbows and unicorns at Walgreens today. They filled his Invega, billed his new insurance, and that was it. Is was so easy! I was so used to fighting insurance companies and pharmacies and calling doctor's offices to get this kid his meds, and now I don't have to. What will I do with all my free time now? This is all because he's got the SSI disability and medicaid. I picked Brandon up at his friends house, brought him home. He immediately laid on the floor, covering himself up with a blanket and fell asleep for 2 1/2 hours. I guess he was tired! While he was sleeping I went on line to look for peach tableware, and found them on a site, of course I had to pay for express shipping. That is now done, I just pray they get here on time. I took a nap, made dinner, went to my moms house to put sheets on the beds, and talked to my dad in New York on the phone.

On a different subject, a friend of mine who got me blogging by reading her blog, is having a hard time with life. Her daughter is sick and she left her nutbag husband. I left a comment on her other blog about what I thought and hopefully she will take it to heart. I told her before to leave him. He's not right in the head. So I wish her strength, courage, and stability in her upcoming battle with life and the bullshit it can provide.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Friday night Kaylin had a friend spend the night. We went to Perkins cuz kids eat free :0) and I wanted to go out to eat. We got a bonus at work in celebration of customer service week. Works for me! They did alot of cute things at work this past week. Monday morning the told us to wear team jerseys and had a continental breakfast for us all. On our desks were coffee mugs and nice sayings. Tuesday we had buttons and trail mix. Wednesday candy, noise putty, and a pen. Thursday we had a stress ball which was pretty cool. Friday they had the closing ceremony which they announced the winners of the contests they had throughout the week. At the very end we told we got bonus checks. Saturday morning Kaylin had her soccer game which her friend came with us, afterwards we went to the Dollar Tree and they each got to spend five bucks on what ever they wanted. Oh yeah, the Killer Bees won 3-2. Kaylin needs to try alot harder to play soccer and not be scared of the ball. Her friends mom picked her up this afternoon and Brandon's friend Vincent came over with his mother for dinner, he ended up spending the night. Now they are watching Madagascar playing super heroes.
Tomorrow we will see. I think I will try to go out alone to Walmart and the Dollar General, maybe LTM Party supply to get things we need for the memorial service. I'm suppose to get peach tableclothes, plates, cups, napkins, find the instrumental Titanic soundtrack. and make a liliac and ivy memorial wreath. I also need to go to my moms and get the sheets in the house, bring them home, wash, dry, and make the beds. I really want to get some housework done, although I got a good amount done today. I cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floor, did laundry, changed the cat litter, and did dishes. I'm really tired of my house being in the shape it's in. It's dirty, cluttered, and unorganized, plus stuff needs to be fixed. I work everyday and am torn between homework, dinner, baths, soccer practice, laundry, kids, and trying to make everything work, I just can't seem to make the Martha Stewart thing work for me. Damn that bitch for setting womens standards so high, who can compete with that!

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Ramblings and such

Well, my grandmother passed away after a painful battle with cancer. It started a couple years ago. They discovered she has uterine, ovarian, cervical, and vulva cancer. All you women out there, or those of you who know women if your men--Get a fucking papsmere. Don't have insurance? Go to the health department and they will put you on a sliding scale. It's not that hard and should be a priority. Sorry about that, need to be said though. Back to my ramblings... She had to have everything taken out and reconstructed so she could pee again. A very painful recovery, but she got through it. My mom went up to Tennessee and cared for her surgical sights (she has been an RN for over 25 years) and when all was well, came back home. Well the cancer came back, in her lymph nodes, and lungs, and everywhere, and she got a blood clot. It was inoperable and chemo may have helped drain her lymph nodes to bring down her leg so the clot could dissolve. She said no, and laid in her bed awaiting death. It did not come right away, she held on for most of this year, slowly getting worse. Then my aunt Jenny called and said she was getting close and my mom flew to Tennessee. She got to care for her in her final days, and give Aunt Jenny some much needed respite. She was there when she passed. Grandma was cremated and returned to my mom and Aunt Jenny today. They are all going to drive down here and have a memorial service with a reception following the church memorial at my moms. I am taking 3 days bereavement from my job. I'll take Wednesday the 15th, Friday the 17th (also baby squirrel's birthday) and Monday the 20th. My team leader was not so nice about it, but I am entitled and have the right to be with my family during this trying time.

Yesterday I took Brandon to his monthly doctor Hubbard appointment. She is so proud of his progress and now that he has straight medicaid she thinks they will cover the Invega so we are going to take him of the Risperdal. He gained 13 pounds in a little more than 3 months. We all agreed that the benefits of the Risperdal were to great to take him off of, since Staywell wouldn't cover the Invega. Invega is in the same family, but without the side effect of weight gain. He also won't have to take it several times a day, only once since it is long lasting.

I will end with this...

There is no remedy for love but to love more.
Henry David Thoureau
1817-1862

I would like to ask if anyone is reading this, if they could please leave a comment or suggestion so I know that I am not as alone as I feel.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Filling in the blanks, and some sad news

We went to Rick's friend Frank's house Friday night, we had allot of fun, ate some hot dogs, kids swam and played and we headed home. Brandon and Kaylin were awesome. Saturday morning was Kaylin's first soccer game. Her dad came and cheered her on. She did pretty good, but held back allot. I think she was worried about how she looked and worried about messing up. I told her I'd rather see her try and mess up, than not try at all because of fear. She was crying when we left the parking lot, I let her go to her dad for comfort, I figured it was important for him to nurture that side of things. He bought her a ball this weekend, so she can practice. Her dad game me all call later and asked me if it was okay if she went in his friends little airplane, I told him I trust his judgement and it was fine with me. After the soccer game Brandon and I went to Walmart, gas station, bank, and pet store. When we came home I laid down and took a nap, when I woke up I got ready for Heather's house warming party and Rick dropped me off. I had a nice time at the housewarming. One of the girls I work with made a total ass out of herself and has been very quiet at work. Sunday Brandon, Rick and I went fishing. We caught 3 keeper snappers and a bunch of little snappers. Pat and Tori came over for dinner and I didn't feel good so I vegged out. We had deer ribs, chicken, steak, au gratin potatoes, and green beans. Kaylin came home from her dads in time for dinner and we had quite an uneventful evening. After company left I passed out, dead tired. Monday Kaylin had soccer practice, in the pouring rain. Brandon had quite a rough evening, trying his hardest to drive me bonkers, so I asked Rick to stay with him while I took Kaylin to practice. I very much needed a break. I grabbed a pink chair, camo umbrella, and a book, found myself a place to plop and read while she practiced. I zoned out into the land of Narnia, since that is what I am reading this week. The first thing the coach said was for them to sit in the mud and get it over with, because they were gonna get muddy and filthy. This coach is really awesome, he really pushed them, and builds them up at the same time. After practice we stopped at the 7-eleven and got milk and drinks. Got home by 8:15, put Brandon to bed and relaxed. I fell asleep pretty early, I guess I'm kinda whooped. The phone woke me up at 12:11 am. It was my mom, sobbing, crying, my grandmother had just died. She did not go peacefully, she went with much struggle and suffering. I'm sorry she had to go through all that, and sorry that my mom had to see all her pain. It sucks, but she's not suffering anymore.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Oh the mail!

On my way home from work everyday I pull up real close to the mailbox, roll down my window, and grab the mail. So that's what I did today. Yesterday was a good mail day, my dad sent me a little something in the mail, which will help with the electric bill. Today was a mixed bag, two mysterious envelopes, one from the pediatrician, and some other stuff I don't remember now. The two mysterious envelopes were from the US Treasury. Brandon had received his first disability check, and his check that back paid him to when I first applied. Very nice surprise. I didn't think he would receive anything for at least another month, he just got approved last Friday. The envelope from the pediatrician was another story, it was another test order. This time for an MRI of his eye orbits. Her notes said iris cysts, optical gioma and fibroids. No note explaining, nothing for me to call the office and schedule an appointment, no voice mail or messages on the home phone. The doctor didn't call me and tell me why he needed that test, or what, if anything came up on him last MRI. It did say iris cysts which mean's she has talked with the eye specialist we saw on Tuesday. So something is going on behind the scenes. Don't you think?

In other news;
1 I talked to my mom and my grandma is doing really poorly
2 Work was BUSY
3 We went to Rick's friend Franks house
4 Tomorrow is Kaylin's first soccer game
5 Tomorrow is Heather's house warming party

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Wednesday and Thursday

Tuesday the baby sitter called and said her mother in law totalled her car and she wouldn't be able to watch Brandon for most of the week. Normally this would be fine, as my mother can usually help in a pinch. Well, my mother was in her own little world, her mother, my grandmother, who is terminally ill with cancer, is in the last stages of her life. So obviously my mom's mind was elsewhere. She booked a plane ticket to Tennessee for Thursday (today) and tied up as many loose ends as possible here in Florida. Even though she was going through all this emotional turmoil, she DID watch him Tuesday and Wednesday. I asked one of my best friends if she would be able to sit with him Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, I told her I would pay her what I pay the babysitter, plus mileage. She told me should would think about it and let me know. I sent her a text message Wednesday asking her if she had thought about it.....no response. I sent her a text this afternoon, asking her if she way okay, she responded that she was fine, then I asked her if she could help with the kids today, she said no, the baby didn't sleep very well last night. So I was up the creek, again, and as usual, without a paddle. If you don't know me, I'll tell you this, Thursday's are the very worst, awfullest days for me to leave early. This Thursday was even worse, because one of the senior processors was out on vacation, which left me, the other senior processor, and our team leader with 4 other less seasoned processors. Out of desperation I called Bob, he's my step dad. He said he would do it! I was surprised, he's never watched the kids before. Once he picked up Kaylin from a girl scout field trip, but that was about the extent of his interaction with his grand kids. He loves them, and sometimes even likes them but today was a new thing for us, and I do have to say I think he enjoyed himself. Brandon was an angel, of course..... Once I got home and changed out of my monkey suit, we went to Walmart to pick up Brandon's new glasses. He looks totally awesome, smart, and I don't know if I'll ever be used to him in glasses! I also got their Halloween costumes and some other Walmart type stuff (groceries, deodorant, bubble bath, etc.).

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

MRI cuteness

Yesterday Brandon had his MRI. We woke up at our normal time and went to the hospital. On the way I slipped him a Valium and we registered for out-patient testing at Fawcett. They brought him to the MRI room and explained to him what was going to happen. They gave both of us ear plugs and put him in the machine. The wedged his head still and put a big helmet on. The moved him into the big machine and started the test. That boy was asleep in 5 minutes, probably less. I couldn't believe he feel asleep with all that noise, it was like a jack hammer! After the MRI, we had to wake him up. They technician asked him if he wanted to see a picture of his brain. He checked it out, thought it was really cool and told the tech that it sure looked like a smart brain, and it was pretty huge. She got a chuckle out of that. He then asked her if her printer worked, because his mamma's printer didn't work. She told him that it did work, so he asked her to print him a copy because his sister said he didn't have a brain. They printed out a picture for him, I thought it would be piece of paper photocopy type things, but it was a full x-ray paper thing. I was quite impressed, and apparently so were the techs (with Brandon). After the MRI we had breakfast with Fran, I wanted to thank her for all her help. That little boy was hungry, but so was his momma. We said goodbye to Fran and went to check out the Halloween store since we had time between appointments. He picked out what he wanted to be for Halloween, so now I can go back and buy it when I have the money. After our window shopping we went to Brandon's eye specialist appointment. She was really, really nice. Brandon needed glasses and we found out he has a congenital eye defect with causes cysts on his pupils that keep his eyes from dilating. We were finally finished with our appointments so I took him for a Frosty at Wendy's before dropping him off at Fran's. I got to work at about 12:30 and squished a whole day into a half, but that's to my team everything got done. I picked Brandon up at Frans, took him to Walmart to pick out his glasses, we got two pairs. He IS a 7 year old boy. We ran through the drive through for dinner, went home, feed everyone real quick, got back in the car, sped off to soccer, left there at 8, stopped at Walgreen's and got toilet paper and picked up prescriptions. Talk about a busy day!

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Friday I went to the dentist, AGAIN. This time I got five filings in my front teeth. I just have to go back and get my permanent crown and I'm done for the year. Next year I can get another root canal and some more filings. My dental benefits only cover so much a year.

Today has been quite pleasant. I got to sleep in until 10, which is a rare treat. I took Kaylin for her soccer pictures, came home. We started a puzzle last night, the kids and I and actually finished it today, it was one of those 550 piece jobbers. They have been bickering all day, but are actually playing nicely, although loudly. I talked to my dad on the phone which was nice. He lives in New York and I miss him.

Monday Brandon goes for his MRI and sees the eye specialist. I also got a call from SSI saying he was approved and will get full medicaid and $247 a month in benefits. He has a genetics appointment on October 22nd.

Tomorrow is SunSplash. Woo Hoo!!!!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Ear wax maddness

Yep, I'm lame. We spent the nite doing ear candling. It was actually fun. We are having a contest to see who's ear wax is the nastiest. I actually took the time to post pictures on myspace to have people vote on. I think I better up my meds. LOL

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

It's Wednesday! Whoo hoo..

I'm back to work after a day and half reprieve. I'm still stuffy and boogery. Rick is home with Brandon, he took the day off to stay home with him so I could work today. I was really surprised when he offered, it's kinda out of character for him. He really has been more involved with us, which is nice. It was a concern of mine for a long time, it was us and him, now it's a little more like all of us. Kaylin has been awesome, she sat and did her make up work last night from when she missed school. I wonder if she feels more "mature" now, I don't know, but I'll take it while it comes. We cancelled the team meeting last night, since we were all sick. I didn't think it was nice to share with everyone what we've got. Hopefully by Friday we will all be humans again and Sunday we can go to Sunsplash.

I decided to share this blog with some myspace friends, I posted it on my bulletin asking if anyone was interested in reading it. I'm a little nervous about it, people will see how boring my life really is, and I don't want to hold anything back because I'm worried about who will see it. So I won't. If they don't like it, they don't have to read it, ya know. It's my way of venting and looking back to see what progress or how my feelings have changed. It's my therapy.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Well, it's been a week

It's been a week since I've blogged. We are all sick. Runny nose, coughing, stuffy, fever, body aches sick. All of us. Rick started it, it's all his fault. Friday we were suppose to go to Sunsplash, but who da thunk it's closed on Fridays. We went to Peace River Wildlife Center, it was nice to see the birds they took care of. Then we went to the Shell Factory and played miniature golf and the kids did bumper boats. Friday when we got home, Kaylin started her first period. Shhh..don't tell anyone. She was horrified, I knew it was coming. She acted like she was the only chick in the world that it ever happened too. Saturday and Sunday we were all bed ridden. Rick went to help his dad and brother put floors down in the post office. Monday Rick stayed home with Brandon. Kaylin missed the bus, Rick drove her to school. Then she called and said her ear hurt and she had cramps, Rick picked her up again. I called the pediatrician she wanted to see her, so I left work, which I was more than happy to since I felt like poop, took her to the pediatrician also took Brandon with me since he was pathetically sick as well. Kaylin's ear was a mess, and they wouldn't see Brandon because they couldn't fit him in, but they would see him Tuesday (today). I took off work today and took him to the doctor, he has bronchitis, no school tomorrow. Rick is taking tomorrow off so I can go back to work tomorrow. That was my week. I'm starting to feel a little better, so is Rick and Kaylin, now Brandon is the worst of us.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

My busy Tuesday, and my weird Wednesday

Tuesday I took the day off for a bajillion appointments, well three if you want specifics. It started with Kaylin waking me up that her ear hurt real bad. Rewind to July and you'll read she had double swimmers ear. Brandon had his appointment for his 7 year physical, so I drug Kaylin along with me. The first stop of the day was to good ol' DMV, to get my name changed on my drivers licence. Believe it or not I was in and out in 10 minutes! Then we were at Dr Anurumo's for our 9:30 appointment. Kaylin had the starting of swimmers ear, AGAIN, she was all filled up with snot and fluids. She left with decongestants, ear drops and nose spray. Brandon was overall healthy, and he was complying with the doctor. This is a good thing considering the first time he met her, he hid under the exam table kicking her and screaming. She was checking him out and noticed his birthmarks, I've always called them his angel kisses. He had some new ones I don't remember always seeing, but thought nothing of it. She said they were called cafe au lait's and 1-2 is normal, anything over 5 is fibroneuromatosis, he has 10. I have to take him for an MRI, to a genetics doctor, and neurologist and get some expensive blood test done. Of course I googled it the minute I finally got home, and this in not a good thing to have. I will not freak out until I'm told too. Well, not all the way freak out anyway.. The pediatrician was followed by Brandon's dentist in Venice for a filling. We made it with a few minutes to spare. He sat in the big chair and stated to whine that he was scared. The dentist then told me to reschedule. We were there for not even 5 minutes. That pissed me off a bit, especially since she is a pediatric dentist. Back to town we went, stopped at Burger King for lunch, Walmart for gas, then to Tire Kingdom to get my oil changed. That took awhile, Fran met me there and took the kids. I went to my dentist appointment at 3, was late, got my temporary crown, picked up the kids and headed home.

Neurofibromatosis

Neurofibromatosis. This is the new word in my house. This is the word that hangs over us all like a cloud, a cloud of uncertainty. Cafe Au Lait, sounds like a delicious coffee beverage, nope wrong about that one. Brandon's angel kisses, aren't angel kisses after all. Now we begin the gauntlet through specialists, and doctors, and tests.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Friday, Saturday, Sunday and some blabbering

Friday we ordered pizza, nothing exciting there. Brandon made it to gold level in school. His levels are silver, bronze, gold. He's worked really hard for it, he wants to go back to Toledo Blade instead of being at his special school. It's a goal he is working towards, and I think he will be back at him school for 3rd grade. I am so proud of how he is excelling in school, I didn't think it would be possible for quite a long time. He's made so much progress. Sometimes it's hard to see how far he has come when you live in it everyday. Once in awhile you can sit back and see the change, you think back to how things were, and how things are now. Maybe it's us that have changed, maybe we understand things more in depth, and know Brandon better than we did before. I'm not sure which it is, but I am grateful for the progress on all of our parts. We really have grown as a family unit. Sure, I have some complaints, or maybe I should re-word that, not complaints but small issues.

Saturday was relaxing. I washed laundry and did some Craig's List posting to sell a dog kennel, a frog, and a toddler car bed. I emailed pictures to a friend. We went to Walmart, cooked dinner and watched a movie on Disney. It seems like I should have gotten allot more done, but it went by really quickly.

Sunday Rick stayed home with the kids and I went to the dog track with my friend Fran and her daughter Bonnie. It was fun, I really would like to adopt a retired greyhound, what beautiful animals they are. I only lost 18 bucks, but didn't have to buy lunch, so I broke even in that sense. The whole time I kept thinking about how nice it would be to be there with Rick and the kids, I think, no, I know that they would really like it. They had 3 levels the bottom one there were families and it was closest to the dogs. Maybe I can get Rick and the kids to come and he'll want to adopt too. Sadie would have someone to run with, Brody would get a break, and Kaylin would shut up about wanting another dog.

Tomorrow I took the day off from work. At 9:30 Brandon goes to the pediatrician for his physical, 11:15 he gets a filing at the dentist, 3 pm I get 5 fillings. Might as well bang out all my appointments in one day. Then I'll take some time for Brandon to go to the pediatric eye specialist, for his neuro/psych eval, and probably blood work. I took Friday off too. We are going to SunSplash we our rain check tickets.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Patriots Day.

Today is Patriots Day. Where were you, and what were you doing when the September 11th attacks took place? What are your thoughts? Did you know anyone that died that day?

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in a nutshell

Friday
After work on Friday I went to a party a girl at work was having. It was allot of fun and I took a lot of blackmail pictures. It was really nice to get out of the house and just hang out with "the girls".

Saturday
Saturday morning Carrie Phelps came for Brandon's appointment. It went pretty good. She's now going to see him every two weeks. I went grocery shopping. Saturday evening Kaylin's dad picked her up. Rick, Brandon and I went to a sunset wedding at the beach. I could hear the banjos playing in the background. It was redneck. I never met the bride or the groom. She was pregnant, this was his 3rd marriage. He has children from his previous marriages that he refuses to pay child support on. Oh, yeah, he has no teeth either. She was rude, any attempt anyone made to speak with her, she just walked away, never responding to us. We had fun anyway, when Rick's family gets together the fun makes it self. Rick did karaoke with his dad, Maureen did it with Tony, Rick's dad kept doing karaoke and dancing. It was a lot of fun. Brandon swam in the pool and did awesome the whole night. We came home after 2 in the morning.

Sunday
Sunday was Rick's birthday. He slept in late, woke up, fell asleep. I made him a carrot cake. I mopped the floors and ordered Chinese food. Yep, we are party animals.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Argghh...

Argghh.... Brandon is driving me crazy! He has been whining, crying, screaming, and being disagreeable since I walked in the door. I came home from work and he screamed in his room
for half an hour that he wanted his momma to come home. He was stuck in that mode. It was like that for most of the evening. He would say to us, "why do you hate me?" "Do you want me to move out?" and my favorite, "If you don't get me a drink right now, I'm going to die, do you want me to die??". Right now he has calmed himself down, and Rick is helping him with homework. I am really tired, I just want to go to bed, but there is so much to do around here and no end in sight!

Thought a ma bob

I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run.
Babe Ruth 1895-1948

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Last night when I came home from work, ready for Brandon's freaking out about the germs. Mentally trying to think of where I put the Lysol, he was asleep. Out like a light. I let him sleep for maybe an hour and then tried to wake him up, he was totally exhausted. He DID NOT want to get up. If I let him sleep he would have started his day at 3 o'clock and would fall asleep early. I drew him a hot bath and woke him up enough to put him in it, that did the trick. He ate dinner and took his meds, had some snuggles, brushed his teeth, watched a little TV and went to bed at a decent hour. He woke up with only a little resistance today, he was upset because he wanted Rick to go to the school and have lunch with him. Rick couldn't, I couldn't, we both felt bad, but I just can't, and Rick doesn't have a scheduled lunch time. He was upset about getting on the bus, but did. He's such an odd little bird sometimes.

Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up
--Chinese Proverb

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

A Labor Free Labor day

It was a labor free labor day. We lounged the morning part of the day. Brandon got his freak out on. It hasn't been often that we have been seeing this kind of behavior, so when he shows it we actually have the energy to deal with it. I asked Kaylin to go into her room and lock the door so he wouldn't hurt her. We talked to him, but he was past that. He started screaming and swearing, throwing things, hitting and biting. I'm still trying to figure out the trigger on this one. Our goal with therapy has been to catch him before he escalates and redirect him. Most of the time, that works, you have a very small window to redirect behavior before he gets "stuck" and there is no reasoning, no talking to him. Brandon is no longer there. He repeats the same thing over and over, sometimes longer than 45 minutes. Then he cries for another half hour, then, if we are lucky, he falls asleep and wakes up a new boy. If he doesn't fall asleep, he will cycle through and be kinda snuggly and insecure, then there is Brandon, back like he was never gone. We got past that melt down and putted around for most of the day. We wanted to go to the beach, since it has been raining all weekend. We called Pat and Tori to see what they were doing and they were already on their way to the beach. We started to make lunch so we could meet up with them, I told Brandon his lunch was ready and he was asleep on the couch, out cold. I let him sleep while I packed up the beach stuff. Tori called and told me all the beaches were a mess because of hurricane Gustav and the only people at the beach were surfers and it was all churned up and nasty. We ended up meeting them at Boca Grande, at our sweet little fishing spot. It has shaded, tree covered areas. We relaxed and chit chatted while the boys waded out in the muck and fished. Tori wanted to go out to dinner, since it was her birthday. She wanted to know if we wanted to come. I told her as long as it isn't too late or expensive. We ended up going to the Lock and Key on Manasota Beach. We got there after 9. Everything on the menu was ridiculously priced. Dinners were over 18 bucks. Rick, the kids, and I shared appetizers. Tori and Pat ordered big old giant dinners, with appetizers, drinks, and dessert. We got home at 10:30, which was too late for a school night. Brandon woke up being an asshole. I say that because I mean it. He was truly an asshole. I barely got him dressed before the bus came. He called me a bitch and punched me in the face. It was a lovely morning (comment dripping with sarcasm).

He did have a good day at school today. He got a 96% on his point sheet. He called me when he got home. He was really upset that the babysitter brought her kids today. He was freaking out about there germs all over the place. I told if that mommy wouldn't let the germs hurt him and would make them go away when she got home with her magic spray. This actually seemed to help and he said he would be nice to them.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

lazy day

It was a lazy day today. I loafed around, folding laundry, napping, chatting on the phone. Ya, know, a lazy day. I got out of my pj's around 4 o'clock and took a shower. We made a nice dinner and relaxed with my kiddos watching Herbie. I enjoyed watching Lifetime movies about amnesia and love. The laundry got folded AND put away.

Thought thingy

In science the credit goes to the man who convinces the world, not the man to whom the idea first occurs.
Sir Francis Darwin
1848-1925

Saturday, August 30, 2008

my romantical date, or something like that..

We had respite come in Friday night. Rick and I were going on a "date". The first one in several months. I LOVE ABBA, really alot. Rick took me to see the musical Mamma Mia! down in Fort Myers a few years back, now the Mamma Mia! is in the movies, I was chomping at the bit to see it with Rick. Rick and I have NEVER been to the movies together, ever. I told him we had a date and we were going out to dinner and to see Mamma Mia! and he was excited to go. He came home from work and I asked him if he was excited and he was. He asked me if I could pay his mortgage (he has his own house, which he rents out and with his account I pay it). I said sure, then he said it was good I was his sugar momma, because after him paying the mortgage he was broke. Just for the record, he makes twice as much money as me and has half the bills I do. I asked him how if he was so broke, were we gonna go on a date? He said he thought I was paying. I explained to him that I only had eleven dollars in my account after paying my stuff. So instead of me taking a shower and getting all prettied up, we went fishing. Not one single bite, no one single fish. Instead of smelling freshly showered, and looking good, I was wearing a fishing shirt, snook hat, and shorts, smelling like bait and bug spray. Instead of a restaurant with fancy drinks and appetizers, we had cheese steaks. Of course I tried to make the best of it, but I was still disappointed. And to top off a romantical evening of mosquitoes buzzing, and Rick farting, I got my frickin period.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

"quality time"

I made some sort of ridiculous attempt of spending some quality time with my kids. Rick went fishing with his brother for the night, so I thought a nice evening with my kids would be therapeutic for us all. I started with a gourmet meal at Burger King, followed by the play pit and milk shakes. After ten minutes they were hanging out with me at the table, and that we can do at home without the faint smell of urine and shrieking unmanageable children whose parents use Burger king play places as day care centers. So we went home, thinking we can snuggle on the couch with some popcorn and watch a movie together. Silly me. Silly, silly, naive, me. Dare I hope for such a pleasant evening? We piled on the couch and "it" began. He's touching me, she hates me, he's on my blanket, he's ruining my life, Kaylin's a stupid head, and so on and so forth. I think you get the picture. Kaylin wanted this, Brandon that, let's watch this, no I wanna watch that, I wanna sit by momma, no, I do. Then the tween that had once been my sweet little girl starts screaming how it's not fair and Brandon is ruining his life and she just wants a normal family and no one respects her. She storms off into her room with an attitude I'd just LOVE to smack off her face. Can you give an almost 11 year old Midol? That pretty much ended the evening. Brandon melted down at that point, which I can't blame him for. He went to his room since suddenly I had become a "bitch ass". I slumped off into my room, with the door open, to read and hoping everyone just needed to chill for a few. Kaylin came in maybe 7 minutes later. Announcing that I was rude for not telling her good night. I told her to sit so we can talk and I tried, I really tried to talk to her. But she just argued with me, I tried to listen, sympathize, settle the match. She wasn't having it. At that point I told her how it was. Straight to the point, holding nothing back. During my rant she got up and walked out. Brandon had fallen asleep already. I lay on my bed shaking my head and trying to figure out were my good intentions went. Kaylin skulked back in and sat on my bed pouting. I asked if she wanted to talk, and she didn't. I think she wanted to reach out to me, to let it all out-what she was holding in, and to apologize (can blame a girl for hoping). She hugged me and I held her and told her I loved her. I don't feel like it was good enough, I feel guilty, like I'm totally missing something with her. I don't know how to help her, without her giving just a little for me to work with. I know it's got to be hard for her dealing with a brother like Brandon. But at the same time, somethings gotta give. You have to be part of the big picture, be part of the change. I can't get her to see that it's my job to turn her into a some what productive member of society, and responsible, caring adult. Anyway, that was my night....

Well I didn't finish Mondays post

I didn't finish Mondays post, but that's okay, right? You were all sitting at your computers biting at your nails waiting for me to finish that one, weren't ya? I call tell by all your comments and replies. LOL. I know, I'm a goofy one. Yesterday, Tuesday, Brandon finally had his OT evaluation at The Florida Center. It went awesome. I learned alot and was amazed to see how Brandon reacted to being brushed, digging for marbles in popcorn, and relaxing on a swing. She recommended OT at school and private OT. We will see what insurance says about all that. We also had our team meeting last night. I do have to say it went really well. Carrie (behavioral support specialist), Cindy (therapist), mom, Amy, and Marcy (wrap facilitator for SAMSHA) were all there and it turned out to be pretty productive. Overall I feel today exceeded my expectations.

On another note, I've been reading my friends blog, the one who blogged negatively about me. I've been reading it every day and feel confused about how I should feel. She's going through alot right now with her husband and son and I want to call her, but I'm still hurt by the things she said about me and Brandon. Someone called about her husband a few weeks back for a job reference. I gave the asshole a good one, even though he hates me and my kids. Arghh! I don't know how to feel about that one. And by the way, he got the job!

Rick should be going fishing tonight with his brother Pat, so he won't be home tonight. A night with just me and the kids snuggling will be nice. Maybe they will even earn some marbles for being nice to each other!

Well, what do you think?

Monday, August 25, 2008

Weekend recap and stuff

Friday night I gave Kaylin a chance to do her chore. I gave her fair warning, and gave her consequences. No, she did not have to scrub floor boards, pressure wash the house, or re shingle the roof. She had to put the dishes in the dishwasher. I told her if they were not done when I woke up in the morning, I would take away her Nintendo DS. I guess she was testing me, ignoring me, hating me. When I woke up, I dilly dallied, read, made coffee, trying to give her a chance. Finally I did the dishes, walked into her room and took her DS. She did not notice it was missing until 2pm-ish. The confrontation wasn't as bad as I though, she quietly asked me where it was, and I told her she knew. She asked my when she would get it back, and I told her when she did her chores without being asked and the right way. Brandon was more horrified about the whole thing than Kaylin was. Kaylin will RARELY let him touch the thing, and he was he biggest advocate to get the thing back. After a leisurely afternoon of Lifetime movie watching, and laundry folding, we took the kids fishing. Brandon caught a catfish right away with his new fishing pole he got for his birthday, Kaylin caught a sting ray which she sang gloating songs about for the rest of the night. Brandon caught another catfish and so did I. They were ready to go home, but we still had shrimp left. They occupied them selves throwing cheetos to the rats and mice scurrying across the pier. Kaylin wanted to catch one and take it home. I told her no frickin way. I'm gonna finish this post later tonight.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Well....It's been awhile

It's been over a week since I've blogged. Which is fine, because no one reads this shit anyway. We had tropical storm Fay pay us a visit Tuesday. Monday I went to work and was trying to get everything done in case weather was too rough to come in on Tuesday, and what do you know, our companies server crashes. It finally came back up at 3 minutes to 6pm. Our accounting manager had 3 minutes to send the entire direct deposit file to the federal reserve. She somehow did, but sent the wrong one! Oopsie. Then we did wire transfers and live checks and blah, blah, blah and I left work at 8:30. Tuesday, assuming that a tropical storm was coming at 8 in the morning, I didn't bother to set my alarm the night before. 9:30 I was blissfully sleeping in and awoken by my cell phone blaring it's oh so familiar song and it was my boss asking me if I was on my way. I jumped up, washed my hair in the sink and flew off to work. Apparently all the payrolls we had done we gone from the server crash. We had to recreate all the payrolls that we had done on Monday. Wednesday and Thursday were a busy, stressful mess. And today is Friday. I don't want to do ANYTHING. I'm so over it and ready to go home.

On the weekend we had a great time. Kaylin and I met her step mom, Jess, up in Sarasota to go school clothes shopping. We had a really good time. Kaylin got some really cool clothes, we had lunch and headed back to North Port. Saturday night we went to Walmart to do bra, undie and sock shopping. Kaylin's first bra! She was horrified! Sunday I took the kids for haircuts. Monday was the first day of school. Kaylin liked her teacher, although he was I guy, she got over it. Brandon had the same teacher as last year, he got 101 points his first day. It was so good seeing them both so happy with their first days. Tuesday there was no school because of the storm. Wednesday and Thursday I was a very negligent parent, there was just nothing left of me! Rick cooked dinner all week and was awesome with the kids.

So that catches everything up. My tooth still hurts, the dentist wants me to go to a specialist. I said no. I already paid out a boat load of money, so let's wait and see what happens!