"The Hormones" part one of.....

Apparently I have turned into an unstable, psychotic, moody, snappy, bitchy, unfair and unreasonable person. This, of course, is blamed on my hormones, and NOT on any one person's behavior. You all know how us pregnant chicks get. It has to be my hormones making me a bitch, not the fact that my baby's daddy (wow, that sounds Jerry Springer-ish) has told me that the name is now open for discussion, but he only wants to discuss his choices, not mine. So....I have drawn the conclusion that it is open for him to discuss with himself. I have also taken the hormone blame for other reasons such as; wanting to be comforted while crying after talking with the specialist on Tuesday and being told by BD to "get over it, the doctor is just trying to bill your insurance for as much as possible", also becoming a bitch and developing an attitude because I am having a boy, not a girl (not because we are fighting tooth and nail over boy names), I am also moody because of my house. If you have seen my house, you would feel moody too. I have a short amount of time to gut my bedroom, replace the flooring, and clean the entire house before my water prematurely breaks or I get put on bed rest. Please realize that the above comments are dripping with sarcasm and I do not blame my hormones for the above blog. I entirely blame someone else for not accepting responsibility for the emotional well being of his much better, and cuter half. I also blame this person for not accepting his part of the responsibility for the house and what needs to be done with the inside, outside and people within it.

New poll

There is a new poll to the right of the blog. Please cast you vote. If you vote for Richard I won't love you anymore....

What really happened yesterday

Yesterday I went to the perinatologist at Maternal Fetal Medicine, since I am a high risk pregnancy. Rick and I drove to Cape Coral to meet with the doctor. I started off with the nurse who drilled me for my entire medical history, including which hospital I was born in. I then met with the ultrasound technician. That was the best part, we saw the baby and every part of his. We found out he was a boy, which I was very anxious to find out about. We saw him moving, waving, kicking, his kidneys and heart. Very cool. It made everything so much more real. Then we met with the doctor. That wasn't so cool. Because of my previous history with Kaylin and Brandon I have to be watched very closely. I have to have a renal ultrasound, a 24hr urine collection test, blood work, meet with a genetics specialist, and the baby needs an ultrasound of his heart next month. He made me feel like I did something wrong. I did this the right way. When I had my yearly with Dr. Khalidi I asked her if I could have more babies, I asked her if we could fix my bicornuate uterus, I asked her about the pre eclampsia, and the gestational diabetes. She said there was no reason to correct to uterus, since each baby I had was bigger, she said my uterus would stretch each time and it was no issue. She explained to me that the pre eclampsia had a chance of coming back, but the percentage was low. She did tell me I would get the gestational diabetes back. I thought that I was well informed going into this, and now I feel that I was mis informed, or maybe Khalidi should have sent me to another doctor like the one I am going to now. I asked her about this two years ago and was told to go for it, now I'm doubting myself (even though this was not a planned pregnancy) and I guess my confidence of a less than last time complicated, kinda normal pregnancy is out the window. Now I'm re living in my head my pregnancy with Brandon, and I think part of it has to do with me having a boy. I'm scared that he will be like Brandon in all ways. From conception to age 7 he has been difficult. There is only enough room in my heart and life for one Brandon. It doesn't help that Rick and I are fighting over boy names, I feel like I can't bond with the baby until he has a name so I can feel more connected to him. I am officially a mess....

baby news

It a boy!

Frustration!

I am so frustrated with the system of things. The paperwork and bullshit you have to go through to get anything done for you family. It doesn't help when your job is cracking down like gang busters about answering your cell phone when it's not your lunch or break. I have been trying to get Brandon's medication taken care. This has been driving me out of my ever loving mind. Constant phone calls between Staywell, Dr. Hubbard's office, Walgreens, and trying to dial the number to switch his medicaid plan from Staywell to Childrens Medical Services or Medipass. The number doesn't even ring, it just goes right to busy. I remember going through this before, and when the phone finally does ring you go through this automated crap and then it hangs up on you. I hope I can get through before the 90-day enrollment deadline is here! I also went to the Janssen website. I printed out some forms that can help get his medicine cheaper or free. He is backsliding so quickly, it really sucks.

New to me mini van

I did it. I got a mini van and I love it! Allstate finally closed my claim after they totalled my car and wrote me a check. I had to do a little haggling, but with my yard sale skills it was no problem to get the amount I asked for. I even like the mortgage company today, they sent me a check for over payment of my escrow account. I'm so excited that I'm gonna go pay some bills now....

Kinda a ho hum kinda day

I am way down in the dumps today. It seems like things are coming in around me and I feel overwhelmed. I'm beating myself up over a decision that I made and doubting myself.

mini van browsing for me today

Decided on doing the mini van thing. Did a little looking today and doing some more today. It should be early in the week when they settle on my car and I know I'll have limited time with the rental after that point. There are some definite good deals out there. 2 of the vans I looked at were listed at least a thousand below kelly blue book. I thought that was pretty cool. The one I thought would be the best fit/van for us is a 2000 Dodge Caravan se, but after looking at the reviews, learned that there are alot of reported transmission problems. Not something I'm gonna want to deal with 6-12 months from now. Dunno. I submitted a loan application to my credit union and will hear back from them on Monday. The ball is rolling.

car update, creamer update, Brandon medication nightmare

Well, you knew I had me a fancy rental car, it was a 2008 Toyota Corolla, it took me half an hour to figure out how to turn the frickin lights on in the Publix parking lot. Apparently all the new cars have the light turner on-er on the steering column, not a button to push to the left of the steering wheel like all the other cars I have driven. Go figure. Last night some of the girls I work with went to Chili's for dinner and then to the movies to watch Marley and Me. Had a nice time. Went out to the car and when I turned it on there was a warning light on the dashboard. It was a fishbowl with an exclamation point. W-T-F, I didn't even realize the car came with a fish tank, J/K, I know that wasn't funny, sorry. I called the rental place in the morning and they told me it was the tire pressure light. Fishbowl=tire pressure? Wow, I'm in the dark when it comes to new cars. They told me to take it to one of their authorized repair shops and get it fixed, or trade it in for another one. I decided to trade it for another one. Why am I gonna spend my lunch hour getting their car fixed? This time I have a 2008 Mazda 3, which is much less fancy, and way more comfortable for me to drive. I drove to Punta Gorda to collect my belongings and get the tag off of my beloved 93 Buick Regal. I quickly left, because I felt it coming. I got in my rental and started to bawl my eyes out. That would be the last time I ever saw my car.

In creamer news, some bitch threw it out. Game on!

Brandon's med issue started when I went to refill his Invega. His Invega is "the medicine" that has given me back my boy. Invega is 408.79 a month without his insurance. I dropped of this script and then received an automated phone call to tell my they were not able to fill it at this time and to contact his insurance carrier. Called his insurance and was told that as of Jan 1 2009 they have decided to no longer cover Invega, they told me to give him Seroquel or Risperdal. He used to be on Risperdal, but one of the side effects was weight gain, he gained 14 pounds in about 2 months. That's why we went to the Invega. Don't know anything about Seroquel. It's not like he has a headache and the store no longer sells Tylenol, so he's got to take Motrin instead. Now this sucks big ol' donkey balls. Want to know what pisses me off the most? They never sent a letter or attempted to contact me letting me know this. I went to refill his script with him only having a few tablets left. Now what? If they sent me a letter in early December, than I would have had time to discuss a med change with his doctor, taper him off the Invega and add a new one, or eliminate it all together. I don't know about Invega, but most psych meds need to be taped or it can become dangerous. Guess I'll hit it up on the Google later. I put two calls into Nurse Karen, so I'll wait for her to guide me in the right direction.

Oh evil creamer snatcher, I will catch you

I buy those flavored creamers, it's my thing. I brought a new one to work Monday after writing my name all over it, several times, with black sharpie marker. This morning I went to get some, and there was maybe an inch and a half of creamer in the container. This, IMO is frickin rude. My name was on the container and no one asked me. It should have been left alone. So........... tomorrow, in order to prove a point, I'm going to pour out the remainder creamer into another container, and put milk and salt in it, or leave the creamer and squirt some visine in it. The visine seems a little malicious, but how awesome would it be to see the culprit run out of the building with explosive diarrhea?

pretty, shiny, new rental car

:0)

I got a car! At least for now.

pretty, shiny, new rental car

:0)

I got a car! At least for now.

And the mother ship says....

They want pictures. Then they can review the submittal for approval. Waiting for the body shop to send pictures to Allstate. Am I getting jerked around, or is this just the way things work?

Thursday-Sunday

Thursday Tori ended up calling me. We went shopping, found some really good deals at Kohl's, had lunch at Ruby Tuesday's, went to Old Navy, and then to Walmart. Had a nice time, had all the kids with us. Brandon and Kaylin were both well behaved. I am learning that I am much less patient than I was before I was pregnant and snap at the kids alot more. That sucks, but they are listening better. So I have mixed feelings about it. I find myself being bitchy, which is not a normal trait that I have. So, sorry to all affected by my messed up hormones. Saturday we cleaned Brandon's room, all four of us. Three black trash bags later, we are almost done. I gave his a few shoe boxes for his "treasures" that he finds meaning in (ie. bottle caps, gum wrappers, erasers, etc..). Sunday we did Christmas with Ricks family. Rick's dad didn't show up, he is still very unstable, and I was sad he wasn't part of everything, but also relieved that there wouldn't be any chaos, just a relaxing evening.

I should hear about my car today. I talked to Allstate and she had submitted her report to the mother ship and is awaiting approval from them.

No work for me today.

Today I will tackle the mountain of laundry threatening to take over my house. I have also decided to go to Walmart (if they are open) and go grocery shopping and take Kaylin to pick out clothes that she wants to buy with her gift cards. Rick wants to do something, he's thinking about taking the dogs and us on a nature walk. I still don't have a car, and I'm really trying to be a good sport, but my patience is wearing thin. I can't take Brandon to his appointments, I have to get rides to work and back, and I just want my Independence back. Not that I go out alot, but if I want to I can't. Kinda like when I used to smoke. I'd freak out if I couldn't find my pack of smokes or a lighter, even if I didn't need one at that moment, just knowing where they were calmed me down. Kinda glad I quit smoking, I do miss it sometimes though, and it smells so good when other people do it. Okay, enough rambling! Hope you all had a Happy New Years.