Update on baby Noah

Thank you all for your prayers and concerns. My friend is putting up this update for me, since the hospital computer thinks this is a "dating" service. Noah is stable and has been moved to a room for stable babies. We don't know much more than we did before and hope to have more information later after we get a plan of care from his doctor. They have repeated the ultrasound of his heart and kidneys, and as far as we understand they have come back fine. Yesterday the did an ultrasound of his brain and further renal studies. His blood pressure is still high, and he is getting medication for that. They would like to find the reason for the blood pressure being high and think that his kidneys may have some sort of blockage which is confusing his body into making his pressure higher. His high red blood cell count is still a concern, and I'm not sure what his platlet level is. I will try to udate later. Rick and I are staying at the Ronald McDonald house and the kids are with Maureen.

Calander of recent events to catch you all up

April 24-26 my dad came down from New York to visit. I made a kick ass roast for dinner Friday night, Saturday we went mini golfing and went to Carrabbas, Sunday afternoon he headed back home. It was a nice time and I hate seeing him go, but am excited they he will be bringing my Marge in the fall.

April 26th at 2 pm was my baby shower. It was great! I was so surprised with all the people that came. I was also surprised by the thoughtfulness and generosity of all my friends and family. We received almost everything we needed for the baby and what we didn't receive we were able to buy with cash and gift cards.

May 1st we went and saw the Charlotte StoneCrabs, the local minor league baseball team. My work has season passes and makes them available with a parking pass to employees from time to time. The seats were right behind home plate in the first row. It was a great experience for the family.

May 4th I took a day off from work. I got the kids ready for school and went back to bed until 10:30 am. I took my shower and headed off to the dentist for a teeth cleaning. After that I stopped to visit Fran and grabbed some drive thru lunch. I then headed to Sarasota to give my deposition against my ex husband. It was emotionally draining, but I did what I had to do. I treated myself to a little retail therapy at Babies R Us on the way home and purchased Noah's swing.

May 5th I had my appointment with my perinatologist. Noah weighed 4 lbs 14 oz, the same Kaylin weighed when she was born. I was 30 wks and 4 days pregnant, but Noah measured 31 wks and 5 days. He is measuring big and ahead of schedule.

May 6th Brandon had his Dr Hubbard appointment. We got there at 8am, got called back after 10 and saw Dr Hubbard in the hallway for 3 minutes. Believe it or not it was a tiny bit productive. His insurance changed and Dr Hubbard's Arcadia office doesn't take the new insurance, but her Bradenton office does. So I now have him set up in the Bradenton office. The good thing about that office is that the appointments aren't quadruple booked for every 15 minutes. If he has a 8am appointment, he will been seen at 8 and we can leave right after that. I can also drop him off at school on my way to work instead of finding someone to watch him.

May 8th I saw Dr Gregush and all is well.

MMMmmmm....dinner

Yesterday we went mini golfing with my dad. We had a lot of fun, and the kids did good. Brandon was, well Brandon, and that was okay. Rick came home from work and we all went to Carrabbas for dinner. It was totally frickin awesome. Brandon was amazing! Kaylin ate WAY TOO MUCH and was suffering the rest of the night. It was an awesome meal. Dad will be stopped by this morning and leaving in the afternoon to go see my grandma. It went by super fast. I will def. miss him, but can't wait until he brings my evil step mother down in the fall. I haven't seen her since I moved to Florida and she has never met Brandon or seen Kaylin since she was three. I REALLY like her and miss her A LOT.

Yea! My Dad is here.

My dad is here. I missed him a lot. We ate a kick ass roast with potatoes and carrots. We visited awhile. Brandon did OKAY, had a few moments of jerkiness, like when he decided to put dirt in magic Grandpa's soda. He also decided to say HELL, which got him some soap in his mouth. I think a lot of it had to do with him being excited and he also had a field trip which over stimulated him. Hopefully tomorrow will go a little smoother. My dad brought me a video camera thingy called flip video. It is really, really cool. You down load it onto the computer and can share videos online, or save on the computer, or burn on a disk. This is really cool since we have the baby coming soon. Tomorrow we are going out to dinner when Rick gets home from work tomorrow.

Personality test

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Scale (|||||||%) results:

Enneagram Test Results Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||| 54% Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||||||||| 70% Type 3 Image Focus |||||||||| 34% Type 4 Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 46% Type 5 Detachment |||| 18% Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||||| 70% Type 7 Adventurousness |||| 18% Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||| 26% Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||| 58% Your main type is 2 Your variant is social

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Finally, and oh crap!

I finally got through to the state attorney's office. My baby squirrel does not have to go to court and testify, or give a deposition. They made a mistake. Whew! Boy can I breathe a little better now. I still have to go, but that is okay.

In other news...
My step dad was feeling dizzy at work and having elevated blood pressure. My mom made him go to the doctor, and this time it was good that she did. They did and EKG and it came back abnormal so they made him do the stress test. The stress test came back abnormal too. They did some nuclear studies and found out that he had a heart attack and has some scarring/damage to his heart. Friday they go and see the cardiologist and see what's next.

Breastfeeding class and some complaining

Tonight I somehow talked Rick into going to my breastfeeding class. I am proud to say that he behaved himself. We learned a lot, but it also left a lot of decisions to be made. One of them is how long do I do it for, and how will I handle pumping at work if I choose to do so after my maternity leave. I guess we will play wait and see. There are a lot of factors that influence this big decision. Kaylin and Brandon went to my moms. Kaylin is horrified that I will be breastfeeding. She calls it booby sucking and states that it is the most unnatural, inhumane, disgusting thing to do. I told her to get over it...

I saw Dr. Gregush today, and everything is going well. I am 29 weeks and 4 days. Noah weighs about 3 lbs 8 oz and looks to be a week ahead in size. My blood pressure was higher than usual, but no one was concerned. Dr. Gregush was also very excited and happy about my cervix. I know you're jealous that my cervix is so awesome.

I've also been irritable about some different things going on in life. I will just make a list;
1. Possible court thing for daughter.
2. State Attorney's office won't call me back (see #1)
3. Pissed at Tori about her sucky attitude and nasty comments
4. Pissed at girls at work about time off issues
5. Annoyed at Rick (as usual) for being lazy and not motivated
6. Not liking the neglected feeling
7. Nervous about baby shower (I don't like to be at the center of things)
8. People aren't RSVP-ing for shower
9. Tori is being a bitch about my shower
10. Mom is being nutty
11. Self esteem has plummeted to an all time low
12. My house if a mess

Just for shit's and giggles I will make a list of good crap;
1. My dad is coming to visit
2. My maternity leave is a few short months away
3. My pregnancy is going well
4. I have two great kids
5. I have a boyfriend who is nice
6. Excited about baby shower
7. Proud that I quit smoking and am sticking to it
8. I have only gained 16 lbs during my pregnancy
9. I have family and friends
10. I have a job to pay my bills
11. I am grateful

Sucky crap.

Well. Those of you who don't know me are not aware of what happened to my family 4 years and two months ago. Those of you who do know, either because we are related, were friends prior, or a very close friend after. Not too many people know the circumstances of what happened and I'm not about to blog that whole mess. It did really, really suck, and it was one of those things you hear about on the news, or some cousins friend, but not to you. It does have to do with my ex husband and why he is in prison. Last Easter he sent me a letter of "confession" and I immediately brought it to the police station and told them what I knew (which was nothing) and told them to leave me out of it. We have just begun to heal and don't need old wounds opened, so leave me alone, we want closure. I haven't heard anything at all. Not until the other day when I get an officer at my door serving me with papers to give a deposition. So somehow I got drug into the shit again. I have to file my deposition with the state attorney's office in May. In my mail this weekend was another letter, telling me to bring my daughter "Megan" in this Thursday to go over some things, and that she has a deposition the same day as I, but earlier. I have several concerns about this. The first and main one being my daughter's name is not Megan. The second, if this request is in fact for my daughter, is dragging her through this shit again. She has given testimony and a deposition in the last case, and has had all this time to heal and work on moving forward. What is bringing it all up again going to do to her? What will it do to her progress, her delicate self esteem, her important healing process? What does this new case have anything to do with us? On top of this I really don't need the stress. I am a very high risk pregnancy and don't need to get myself worked up. I'm getting close to the time frame that I had my other kids and am scared of premature delivery, my high blood pressure getting higher, and getting pre eclampsia again. I'm doing everything I can to stay at work and off bed rest up until I deliver. Will this be the event that causes it all to go down hill? I wasn't stressed out too badly when they said I had to give a deposition, but now I'm really upset about Kaylin being thrown into it. I have to worry about her too. Arghh, bleck.

Kaylin's special day and an update

Friday was Kaylin's special day with momma. We went and painted pottery, have a wonderful lunch at Olive Garden, went to see Race to Witch Mountain, and shopped in the mall. I had a really nice time. I think she appreciated it for like 5 minutes, and that is a record.

I went to my perinatologist today, and all is well. Noah weights 2lbs 7oz and is 13.5 inches long. He is measuring a week ahead of schedule. My blood pressure is doing what it is suppose to. Rick and the kids came this time. I thought they would think it was cool. Brandon thought it was cool that he got to see the babies wiener. Kaylin thought it was cool when he opened his mouth to yawn. That was all they really said about it.

I qualified for an upgrade on my cell phone and after researching and deciding to stay with my current carrier, I got me a new phone coming in the mail. For some stupid reason I am very excited about it. Probably because it's fancy schmancy, and I'm more of a practical kinda girl.

I am frustrated with some stuff at home, feeling a bit neglected, feeling the time crunch, feeling the stress of a new baby to name a few things. I don't want to get into details, I will spare you all the whining about my pretty okay relationship. Things could be a lot worse. I knew what Rick was like going into this, and back then I chose to manage, so I will continue to do just that, manage. I don't expect him to change, or some sort of personality changing miracle. I will take the friendship, and security that I have, and not bitch about the lack of well affection/attention/sensitivity. He doesn't cheat, lie, drink at the bar, he has a good sense of humor, he's really good with the kids, loves animals, does not have a temper and has a kind heart. So I will shut the hell up and be grateful for him.

The Good Wife's Guide

Blowin off some steam

Men suck.

Tomorrow is Brandon's Day

I decided that I would take each of the kids out for their own special “day” together before the new baby comes. This Friday is Brandon, next is Kaylin. Brandon’s is causing a small scheduling problem, as Friday he has school pictures. We have solved this by compromising and having his pictures taken at Walmart instead (plus it saves me a shit load of money). Before his pictures, I will drop off his 2nd pair of glasses which are broken to be fixed, and get his hair cut. I love Walmart, where else can you get glasses, haircuts, pictures taken, buy groceries, plants, clothes, tires, gas, and anything else you need? Then his adventure starts. We are going to the Shell Factory to go to their petting zoo and do some of the activities they have there. Brandon would then like to have Burger King for lunch and go walk through Toys R Us. I am excited! Plus I get a vacation day from work for fun stuff instead of appointments and sick kids. Kaylin is still not sure what she wants to do with her day. She wants to go to the movies, Claires for earrings, lunch at a nice restaurant, pottery, and walking the mall. We can’t do everything, so she is trying to plan it out.

In other news, Brandon has been swear word free! I never thought it would happen, but it has! He also got his fingers slammed in the door of Rick’s Jeep last night. That sucked, he screamed bloody murder, but they were not broken.

I am officially 6 months pregnant (well I was last week), it’s going by fast and my belly is getting BIG!

The good ole days visited us yesterday :0(

Yesterday...where do I start. I guess I will recap the entire day starting with a little background. The new babysitter expressed her desire to have 5 hours a week. I told her that this was not going to always be the case. Monday I took a day off for some appointments, Rick had off Tuesday and Wednesday, Rick got out of work on Thursday around 2pm. I told Rick to go fishing after work on Thursday so she could get a few hours there. My mom was watching them all day Friday, but to keep a potentially good babysitter, I had her drop him off at the house with the sitter at 2pm. Now I'll recap Friday for ya.. Dropped Brandon off at my moms at 7:15 in the morning. Kaylin ended up staying home because she wanted to sleep in. I called my mom around 9 to check in and all was well. Talked to the babysitter at 3-ish and she wanted to "talk". She realized how much she was letting Brandon get away with things after seeing how my mom dealt with him. She said we all need to get on the same page about what he is allowed to eat and do. Although I had went over all this with her on her two interviews, I guess she needed to hear it again. I obliged, and that was that. I little later she calls and tells me that there is a situation she needs my help with. Apparently Brandon wanted to eat more, the sitter said no, and he blew up. He picked up the stool to throw at her, and she quickly diffused that situation, then told him he was on time out. He ran in my room in a tornado of swear words and objects being thrown and locked the door. On the other side of the door he was screaming and throwing things at the door. She was of course concerned for his safety and probably asking her self what the hell she got into-so she called. I told her to give the phone to Kaylin and I had her put the phone on speaker. I talked him out of the bedroom and tried to talk him into going on time out. It was too late for talking to him at that point. He was too far gone. He had shut down and was beyond thinking, reasoning and making choices. He was just screaming (really screaming), crying, whining, and repeating a non sense phrase. He hung up the phone on me after me trying to reground him over the phone for half an hour. I went to my boss and told her I had to leave and why. Raced home and he was still very agitated, but not "stuck" with the screaming and repetition. I talked briefly with the babysitter and asked her if she was going to quit, and she said no, but she wasn't going to be able to watch him during spring break or for any full days. Afterwards he was still very agitated and kept getting wound back up. I took him to his room and hit his "reset" button. He was an angel after that. I was then able to talk to him about what had happened. I started with asking him what he ate that day. 2 smores pop tarts, macaroni and cheese, strawberries, ice pop at Grandmas, carrot cake, and cheese. Going through my mental list of food with red 40, yellow 5 and MSG (Brandon is not allowed these things, they are known triggers) , I went ***DINGDINGDING*** when he got to ice pop. I asked him if it was red, and he said "yes". I refuse to blame the entire episode on a frickin ice pop, I do, however, blame the ice pop for being the "trigger", the rest was up to Brandon to make correct choices which he did not make. We have not had a meltdown like that in probably close to a year, that made it so much harder to deal with. Plus it scared the shit out of me. He needed to be put in a basket hold to be held safe, but how do you do that when you are 6 months pregnant? I was scared he would kick me or head butt me in the stomach. He used to get very violent back in the day when he would have a meltdown and holding him safe was one of the only tools we had that worked. Now for those of you who don't understand or know Brandon, the mentioned above is his disability, not him being a snot nosed little punk. He is not neurotypical (google it) like you or me, he cannot make the proper connections in his brain to filter out certain things and then it shuts down. You can see him getting agitated, and that is your window to calm him down. Having a new baby sitter, she did not recognize this and he went into full blown meltdown, and at that point Brandon left the building. This morning, so far so good. I'm dreading a repeat performance.

I guess I better write something

I keep coming up with these great ideas of things to blog about. They hardly, if ever come to fruition. I apologize for that. I guess you will just have to deal with an update instead of a well thought out, deeply moving, intelligent sounding, beautifully well written article.

We have temporarily won the battle of the bad words. I have not heard one in several days ( I say this as I'm knocking on wood), he has not written one, or drawn a picture of one. This is good. I am glad it's starting to stick.

Rick took the kids to Kaylin's soccer practice and gave me the night off. Big smiles. I took a bath and read some of my book. It was uneventful and wonderful. I got to shave me legs! I couldn't find any of that fancy scmancy bubble bath so I settled on Mr Bubble, it was that or Brandon's Transformer bubbles!

Pictures of bad words

Thanks to my friend Amber who has hacked my page (with my user name and password) and posted the scanned copy of Brandon’s picture of bad words. I posted earlier in the week about him getting in trouble on the bus for doing this, and I thought I would share it with you all so you don’t think I am out of my mind. Apologies to my dad, who will be very disappointed in my lack of posting skills (he is a computer genius!). I think that Brandon was trying his very hardest to outsmart us. First he was saying bad words and getting soap. Next he was spelling bad words, and now writing them. I really think he is trying to find away around the new demands that are being placed on him. I ((((think)))) he is finally breaking down on the new restriction placed on him. We are giving him soap much less and he is using words like “crap” and “frickin” instead of, well, ya know. To a parent out in public they would probably be outraged to hear this little red head saying “crap” and “frickin”. For me, I am very proud! He is choosing to think, and make a different choice, a better choice.

Pictures of Bad Words

(Poster by super account hacker Amber, for technologically challenged Julie MUHAHAHAHHA)

Here is your clicky link to The Picture

Baby, Kaylin, and Brandon news

I am getting excited about my first “real” baby shower. It will have people I know come and we play games and eat food and have great time. My first two babies were preemies and we had an impromptu shower, where about 5-6 people showed up, 3 of them were my mom and sisters. I am not complaining. I was in a much different situation then than I’m in now. This time I have a job, health insurance, stability and a stronger support system. My friend is throwing my shower sometime in April or May, and it will be at my mom’s house. Rick’s sister Maureen let me know that she would be getting us the crib and my friend Fran is getting us a Pack N Play. This weekend I’m going to pick out a car seat, look at strollers, and MAYBE register at Wal-Mart for the shower. I’m starting to get really excited about meeting Noah and seeing what kind of personality he will have. I’m also getting nervous about getting him the things he needs before he gets here, without going broke. I am really feeling the time crunch! It has been so long since I’ve had an infant, and I worry I won’t remember anything.

In Kaylin news, yesterday she had decided to move out over an incident regarding her brother. To prove her seriousness, she grabbed her bean bag chair and stormed out, parking it right in the front yard. This all came about while I was on a phone call with a friend (also a fellow blogger). Kaylin ran in the room and told me Brandon called her a bad word. Brandon seemed really upset, and she seemed really smug. I told her that since I wasn’t there to hear it, and both of you lie, I will not do anything. This sent her into an emotional frenzy type tornado. I guess she was offended that I questioned her integrity I suppose. She loves to instigate, antagonize, she seeks any and all drama, especially when it pertains to getting Brandon in trouble. Brandon lies, Kaylin lies.

In Brandon news, he got in trouble on the bus for drawing pictures of bad words. After getting caught, he decided to say bad words. I’m really, really hoping that after a few weeks of consistent soap-in-mouth we will be done with bad words.

Shit I hate this fight against bad words!

Our most recent goal has been to replace the boundaries in the household. With Kaylin the first goal has been listening/obeying, with Brandon, it has been bad words. If he says a bad word, he will immediately get soap in his mouth. We took away warnings and 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances. We thought that after a few "lessons" that he would "get it". This is not true! This boy has had ALOT of soap, and still keeps swearing. He knows what bad words are, knows he cannot say them, knows the consequences for when he does. Yet he keeps on talking nasty, the "lessons" are not making any impact. So, I ask you--what do you do next? I refuse to let him continue talking this way.

Update

With all the sillies I have been posting about, I forgot to mention a change in the house. A big one. Our old, terrible, awful, sleeping, useless babysitter, decided to get a full time job and wasn't able to watch Brandon anymore. I was going to wait for the summer to replace her, but this works too. I figured I had the whole summer during my maternity leave to find someone that would be the right "fit" for our family. I went on http://www.sittercity.com/ where I have an account (which I paid like for) and posted a job. This time I left my phone number and hoped for the best. I was brutally honest in my ad, I felt that was important. I finally got a call from an older woman. She was getting social security and just needed alittle extra income and something to do with her time. We set up an interview and she came to the house to meet Brandon and talk with us. She asked alot of questions, and so did I. After everything, she was still interested, but told me to think about it before making a decision. I waited a week and called her, telling her I wanted her to meet Rick, since she would be dealing with him in the evenings and would rarely see me. This was her first week, and I really feel that this will work. She is very grandmotherly and doesn't mind working as little as possible. This is good, since sometimes we only need someone for 15min. My ONLY reservation is with her husband, he is a manager with Department of Children and Families. I have had nothing but negative experiences, and heard nothing but negative things about this organization in Florida. I worry that she may misconstrue something and tell her husband, and him doing what he does, feels the need to open an investigation. I do not want or need that kinda shit in my life. I know that the above scenario is far fetched, but it still sits in my mind. Oh yeah, she folded my laundry too.

What are your opinion's on registries? I was thinking about doing one for my baby shower, but have mixed feelings on the matter. I know when my friend got married, I didn't think to highly of it, but is it different for babies? And what about third babies, not first? Thoughts? Anyone?

and mommy laid down the law

I have decided to redefine the boundaries in my household. The line has been very slowly pushed beyond what was set by two very smart, manipulative, and wild children. I have been pushing back. They do not like it. Tonight I sat them down and told them where the line belongs and what I was doing. I told them that I was not their friend and the quicker they followed direction and rules, the easier their life would get. I told them not to fight it, but to comply. They do not like me, and it will not be a very nice place to be for awhile, but they will get the hang of it. For those of you with little kids, you know how this works. Little Sally and Timmy are fine, everything is going smoothly the routine works, and then one day you realize that they are getting away with a lot more. You don't even see it at first, you have to look real hard. Then things escalate and they start talking back and giving you an attitude. They forget who the parents are, they think you owe them something and everything is unfair. This is where I'm at now, and I'm taking back my house!

Whiney, rotten, stinker boy

This weekend Brandon was rotten. Screaming, swearing, public temper tantrums. It was terrible, and awful, and embarrassing. Saturday we did chores, after he was finished with his jobs (oiling the wood tables, washing a door, and taking laundry out of the dryer), he decided that he wanted to go to his friend Vincents house. He called him on the phone and told him he was on his way over. I was in my pajamas doing chores, as was Kaylin. I had no intention of taking him to Vincents house, I had already made plans with them for later. I told him this and he freaked out, he said he was already packed to go there. I told him he didn't ask if he could go, and that wasn't okay. He cried, whined, and was generally difficult for a few hours. That was just one example of what went on this weekend. I don't want to do a play by play of everything he did this weekend. We did have to have Rick leave Walmart with Brandon because he threw a full blown tantrum over a box of Whoppers. The thing that bothers me the most, is this is not his disability, this was him being a jerk on purpose. I believe he is testing the boundaries and pushing the envelope. He didn't like it when we pushed back. I hope that this isn't his disability, if it is, then this is new stuff. I don't want new stuff.

tax return

Today my tax return was direct deposited! Yipee. I paid my cards off, scheduled the dogs shots, and am getting my septic tank pumped on Monday. I didn't know that you should get your tank pumped every three years. It's been almost 8 years, oh my. We are going to Sam's club this weekend to stock up on EVERYTHING, and we are going to Lowe's to look at laminate flooring for our bedroom. Gonna pay down the van some, and the rest gets saved for my maternity leave. It felt good to pay off all that stuff.

This weekend we have a birthday party at Chucky Cheese, I would rather have a root canal ( see previous posts to see what I think of root canals). Saturday night I am designated driver for some girls I work with, two of them turned 21 and we are going out drinking, well they are. I believe I am their chaperon and driver for the evening! Just think, I 'm the providing adult supervision. That ought to make ya giggle .

Two whiny days

Brandon has had two whiny, stinker pants days. Bleck. I think he is putting too much pressure on himself at school to get 100's and when he doesn't, it all goes down hill. I think he is not meeting his own expectations, which I believe is an accomplishment for him(I know that sounds strange) . In previous times, he could care less if he did well or not, he truly didn't care if he got in trouble, he would give me an empty "sorry" and be on his way. Lately, he has been feeling proud of himself and if he makes a mistake he will feel terrible if he has done something wrong, or done poorly. So, in some strange way, I think these bad days are good days, I think we are actually making progress of some sort. Always baby steps.

My Talley trip

I had a great time in Tallahassee. I packed Friday night. I woke up early on Saturday to straighten out the van and make sure I had everything packed. I woke the kids up to spend a little time with them before I left. Brandon gave me his valentine and it had his picture on it. He told me to take it with me so if I missed him and forgot what he looked like I could good see him and feel happy again. I smooched my babies, and my baby daddy and headed to my moms to help her load up all her stuff. Bob brought their beagle to my house and we dropped their other dog off at the vet (he has stress related colitis, and gets bloody, mucous diarrhea all over my house when they go away). We gassed up and were on the road. I slept, read, made scrubbies, but mainly slept. We stopped in Gainesville to have lunch with my youngest sister Kari. We had sandwiches and salad at McAllisters and it was good food. We dropped Kari off at her apartment so she could get ready for work and hopped back on the road for Tallahassee. We had Sara meet us at the hotel, got ready, went to Chili's for dinner. I had steak, with loaded mash potatoes, and broccoli and it was SO good. We got to her performance early, and that was a REALLY good thing. Bob went inside to get tickets and they were SOLD OUT, and $35 a piece. He went back inside after sharing the news with us and gave them a sob story, got us tickets and at a discount! The performance was amazing, we saw the Tallahassee Symphony Orchestra and was amazed and so proud that my sister was part of it. The first piece was Peter Ilyich Tchiakovsky's Romeo and Juliet, overture-fantasy. This piece reminded me of Bugs Bunny cartoons and Peppy la Pew. I am not very cultured. The second piece (which was my favorite) was by Scott McAllister who was in the audience. He composed the piece with his influence being Nirvana and Alice in Chains. In my opinion there were three parts to the song, and the second being the song Where did you sleep last night? by Nirvana. The clarinet player was one of Sara's professors and he was phenomenal. I didn't realize a clarinet could be played like that, I saw why my sister strives for perfection. The third piece was four different songs. This was written by Robert Schumann and it was Symphony No. 2 in C major, op. 61; sostenuto assai-allegro ma non troppo, allegro vivace, adagio espressivo, and allegro molto vivace. This piece relaxed me and I found myself trying to stay awake. We stayed afterwards and and met her professors. Back to the hotel we went and I went with Sara to her apartment. On the way to her apartment she took me to see the capital building and her campus. I had a good night sleep and we woke up to get ready. Sara had to pack for her audition in Houston and meet a friend somewhere. She dropped me off at the hotel and said her good byes to mom, Bob, and Gram. We then headed off to The Waffle House. I am still thinking about how good it was to eat there! I had a ham and cheese omelet, hash browns, toast, and bacon. Back on the road, stopped in Gainesville to see Kari again, and then back home.

Mom's going to Tallahassee...

Tonight I am packing for Tallahassee. Rick will be spending the weekend kid sitting. Me, my mom, Bob, and Gram are all loading up the mini van and heading up to Tallahassee. On the way we are stopping in Gainesville to visit with my sister Kari and then going to see Sara. We are having dinner and then seeing her music performance. She is a senior in college, and I have never seen her at school since she's been there. She will graduate in May and then is going on for her masters. I am very grateful to NOT be driving the five and half hours. I get to stretch out in the back seat of the van with my pillow, blankie, a good book, my cooler of drinks, my snacks, and my bag of crap to make scrubbies. I'm excited to see both of my sisters apartments.

Brandon got ready by himself!

Brandon is now in second grade. One would think that this being his third year of school, not counting preschool, he would know what he needs to do to get ready for school. Nope. Every morning I put his clothes out and tell him to put them on, tell him to take his meds, brush his teeth, socks and shoes, put his folder in his backpack. Every morning I try to get him to do what's next. It never sinks in. That was until this morning. This morning I woke him up and went to check my email. I came out and he was dressed, with shoes, in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He even took his meds and had his back pack ready! Two weeks ago he served his own dinner. He can fill the bath tub on his own now, and wipe his butt. I am so proud of the progress he has recently made. He is finally growing up, I think....

5 great days at school

Brandon has had 5 great days in a row! He has had 100's all five days-Wed, Thurs, Fri, Mon, and Tues. We are so proud of him. He is now off of gold probation and back to sitting at the gold table and drinking chocolate milk. Life is good....

He did get soap in his mouth for calling us all a bunch of frickin assholes. He screamed that he hated us and said the soap tastes like crap. I told him that the soap tasted fine, it was the asshole that tasted like crap.

Tweens! Horumph..

My tween daughter had her tween friend over this weekend. It was interesting to say the least. It is amazing the transformation that takes over a tween when a peer is in the mix. This girl has been over before, and each time she comes, she is a little less nicer. Kaylin tried to pull all kinds of stunts, and got verbal several times. She pushed all the buttons try to show off and prove that she is in control of the situation. That girl almost got her head knocked off this weekend. She did get yelled at, and probally embarassed, but let me tell you I took it easy on her. After her friend left, I layed down the law and told her if she ever pulled that crap again I woudl call her out in front of her friend, and then drive her friend home.

The meds...

We finally got the Invega back into Brandon. I love my pharmacist, he is the bomb. He helped so much along with me harassing the insurance company and Dr Hubbard’s office it was taken care. And it only took a month!! I was ready to take him to the insurance company and let him throw chairs at THEM, and then see how fast they approved his meds. It’s been a week since he’s been back on it, and we are already seeing him being less of a jerk (which I say with love), he still has a long way to go to get back where he was. That’s what pisses me off the most. The insurance company didn’t only take away a little pill; they took away the last year of progress we made. It also shows me how fragile Brandon and his condition are. Before this mess I was starting to think, “Maybe we can take him off one or two of his meds”, and “maybe he doesn’t need them anymore”. It proved to me that he does most definitely need his meds, and that his meds are doing their job. I used to be one of those parents that was against medicating there kids. I thought it was a tool for parents to use when they didn’t want to deal with the parenting issues that faced them. I now see medication as a foundation for treatment. Medication, with therapy and behavior modification makes it possible for Brandon to think, when before he couldn’t. The more positive brain connections are making the more the bad ones will have a chance to die off letting the new connections grow and thrive. This in turn gives him an opportunity to improve, not just stay at a stand still. In Brandon’s case, medication is about quality of life, for him and us. I can’t see into the future. I don’t know if he will ever be off his medication, or if the meds he is on now will always work. I know what his meds have done, and have seen him without any meds. Brandon is more functional, happy, well rounded, a better student, and the stress level at home has been reduced significantly.

"The Hormones" part one of.....

Apparently I have turned into an unstable, psychotic, moody, snappy, bitchy, unfair and unreasonable person. This, of course, is blamed on my hormones, and NOT on any one person's behavior. You all know how us pregnant chicks get. It has to be my hormones making me a bitch, not the fact that my baby's daddy (wow, that sounds Jerry Springer-ish) has told me that the name is now open for discussion, but he only wants to discuss his choices, not mine. So....I have drawn the conclusion that it is open for him to discuss with himself. I have also taken the hormone blame for other reasons such as; wanting to be comforted while crying after talking with the specialist on Tuesday and being told by BD to "get over it, the doctor is just trying to bill your insurance for as much as possible", also becoming a bitch and developing an attitude because I am having a boy, not a girl (not because we are fighting tooth and nail over boy names), I am also moody because of my house. If you have seen my house, you would feel moody too. I have a short amount of time to gut my bedroom, replace the flooring, and clean the entire house before my water prematurely breaks or I get put on bed rest. Please realize that the above comments are dripping with sarcasm and I do not blame my hormones for the above blog. I entirely blame someone else for not accepting responsibility for the emotional well being of his much better, and cuter half. I also blame this person for not accepting his part of the responsibility for the house and what needs to be done with the inside, outside and people within it.

New poll

There is a new poll to the right of the blog. Please cast you vote. If you vote for Richard I won't love you anymore....

What really happened yesterday

Yesterday I went to the perinatologist at Maternal Fetal Medicine, since I am a high risk pregnancy. Rick and I drove to Cape Coral to meet with the doctor. I started off with the nurse who drilled me for my entire medical history, including which hospital I was born in. I then met with the ultrasound technician. That was the best part, we saw the baby and every part of his. We found out he was a boy, which I was very anxious to find out about. We saw him moving, waving, kicking, his kidneys and heart. Very cool. It made everything so much more real. Then we met with the doctor. That wasn't so cool. Because of my previous history with Kaylin and Brandon I have to be watched very closely. I have to have a renal ultrasound, a 24hr urine collection test, blood work, meet with a genetics specialist, and the baby needs an ultrasound of his heart next month. He made me feel like I did something wrong. I did this the right way. When I had my yearly with Dr. Khalidi I asked her if I could have more babies, I asked her if we could fix my bicornuate uterus, I asked her about the pre eclampsia, and the gestational diabetes. She said there was no reason to correct to uterus, since each baby I had was bigger, she said my uterus would stretch each time and it was no issue. She explained to me that the pre eclampsia had a chance of coming back, but the percentage was low. She did tell me I would get the gestational diabetes back. I thought that I was well informed going into this, and now I feel that I was mis informed, or maybe Khalidi should have sent me to another doctor like the one I am going to now. I asked her about this two years ago and was told to go for it, now I'm doubting myself (even though this was not a planned pregnancy) and I guess my confidence of a less than last time complicated, kinda normal pregnancy is out the window. Now I'm re living in my head my pregnancy with Brandon, and I think part of it has to do with me having a boy. I'm scared that he will be like Brandon in all ways. From conception to age 7 he has been difficult. There is only enough room in my heart and life for one Brandon. It doesn't help that Rick and I are fighting over boy names, I feel like I can't bond with the baby until he has a name so I can feel more connected to him. I am officially a mess....

baby news

It a boy!

Frustration!

I am so frustrated with the system of things. The paperwork and bullshit you have to go through to get anything done for you family. It doesn't help when your job is cracking down like gang busters about answering your cell phone when it's not your lunch or break. I have been trying to get Brandon's medication taken care. This has been driving me out of my ever loving mind. Constant phone calls between Staywell, Dr. Hubbard's office, Walgreens, and trying to dial the number to switch his medicaid plan from Staywell to Childrens Medical Services or Medipass. The number doesn't even ring, it just goes right to busy. I remember going through this before, and when the phone finally does ring you go through this automated crap and then it hangs up on you. I hope I can get through before the 90-day enrollment deadline is here! I also went to the Janssen website. I printed out some forms that can help get his medicine cheaper or free. He is backsliding so quickly, it really sucks.

New to me mini van

I did it. I got a mini van and I love it! Allstate finally closed my claim after they totalled my car and wrote me a check. I had to do a little haggling, but with my yard sale skills it was no problem to get the amount I asked for. I even like the mortgage company today, they sent me a check for over payment of my escrow account. I'm so excited that I'm gonna go pay some bills now....

Kinda a ho hum kinda day

I am way down in the dumps today. It seems like things are coming in around me and I feel overwhelmed. I'm beating myself up over a decision that I made and doubting myself.

mini van browsing for me today

Decided on doing the mini van thing. Did a little looking today and doing some more today. It should be early in the week when they settle on my car and I know I'll have limited time with the rental after that point. There are some definite good deals out there. 2 of the vans I looked at were listed at least a thousand below kelly blue book. I thought that was pretty cool. The one I thought would be the best fit/van for us is a 2000 Dodge Caravan se, but after looking at the reviews, learned that there are alot of reported transmission problems. Not something I'm gonna want to deal with 6-12 months from now. Dunno. I submitted a loan application to my credit union and will hear back from them on Monday. The ball is rolling.

car update, creamer update, Brandon medication nightmare

Well, you knew I had me a fancy rental car, it was a 2008 Toyota Corolla, it took me half an hour to figure out how to turn the frickin lights on in the Publix parking lot. Apparently all the new cars have the light turner on-er on the steering column, not a button to push to the left of the steering wheel like all the other cars I have driven. Go figure. Last night some of the girls I work with went to Chili's for dinner and then to the movies to watch Marley and Me. Had a nice time. Went out to the car and when I turned it on there was a warning light on the dashboard. It was a fishbowl with an exclamation point. W-T-F, I didn't even realize the car came with a fish tank, J/K, I know that wasn't funny, sorry. I called the rental place in the morning and they told me it was the tire pressure light. Fishbowl=tire pressure? Wow, I'm in the dark when it comes to new cars. They told me to take it to one of their authorized repair shops and get it fixed, or trade it in for another one. I decided to trade it for another one. Why am I gonna spend my lunch hour getting their car fixed? This time I have a 2008 Mazda 3, which is much less fancy, and way more comfortable for me to drive. I drove to Punta Gorda to collect my belongings and get the tag off of my beloved 93 Buick Regal. I quickly left, because I felt it coming. I got in my rental and started to bawl my eyes out. That would be the last time I ever saw my car.

In creamer news, some bitch threw it out. Game on!

Brandon's med issue started when I went to refill his Invega. His Invega is "the medicine" that has given me back my boy. Invega is 408.79 a month without his insurance. I dropped of this script and then received an automated phone call to tell my they were not able to fill it at this time and to contact his insurance carrier. Called his insurance and was told that as of Jan 1 2009 they have decided to no longer cover Invega, they told me to give him Seroquel or Risperdal. He used to be on Risperdal, but one of the side effects was weight gain, he gained 14 pounds in about 2 months. That's why we went to the Invega. Don't know anything about Seroquel. It's not like he has a headache and the store no longer sells Tylenol, so he's got to take Motrin instead. Now this sucks big ol' donkey balls. Want to know what pisses me off the most? They never sent a letter or attempted to contact me letting me know this. I went to refill his script with him only having a few tablets left. Now what? If they sent me a letter in early December, than I would have had time to discuss a med change with his doctor, taper him off the Invega and add a new one, or eliminate it all together. I don't know about Invega, but most psych meds need to be taped or it can become dangerous. Guess I'll hit it up on the Google later. I put two calls into Nurse Karen, so I'll wait for her to guide me in the right direction.

Oh evil creamer snatcher, I will catch you

I buy those flavored creamers, it's my thing. I brought a new one to work Monday after writing my name all over it, several times, with black sharpie marker. This morning I went to get some, and there was maybe an inch and a half of creamer in the container. This, IMO is frickin rude. My name was on the container and no one asked me. It should have been left alone. So........... tomorrow, in order to prove a point, I'm going to pour out the remainder creamer into another container, and put milk and salt in it, or leave the creamer and squirt some visine in it. The visine seems a little malicious, but how awesome would it be to see the culprit run out of the building with explosive diarrhea?

pretty, shiny, new rental car

:0)

I got a car! At least for now.

pretty, shiny, new rental car

:0)

I got a car! At least for now.

And the mother ship says....

They want pictures. Then they can review the submittal for approval. Waiting for the body shop to send pictures to Allstate. Am I getting jerked around, or is this just the way things work?

Thursday-Sunday

Thursday Tori ended up calling me. We went shopping, found some really good deals at Kohl's, had lunch at Ruby Tuesday's, went to Old Navy, and then to Walmart. Had a nice time, had all the kids with us. Brandon and Kaylin were both well behaved. I am learning that I am much less patient than I was before I was pregnant and snap at the kids alot more. That sucks, but they are listening better. So I have mixed feelings about it. I find myself being bitchy, which is not a normal trait that I have. So, sorry to all affected by my messed up hormones. Saturday we cleaned Brandon's room, all four of us. Three black trash bags later, we are almost done. I gave his a few shoe boxes for his "treasures" that he finds meaning in (ie. bottle caps, gum wrappers, erasers, etc..). Sunday we did Christmas with Ricks family. Rick's dad didn't show up, he is still very unstable, and I was sad he wasn't part of everything, but also relieved that there wouldn't be any chaos, just a relaxing evening.

I should hear about my car today. I talked to Allstate and she had submitted her report to the mother ship and is awaiting approval from them.

No work for me today.

Today I will tackle the mountain of laundry threatening to take over my house. I have also decided to go to Walmart (if they are open) and go grocery shopping and take Kaylin to pick out clothes that she wants to buy with her gift cards. Rick wants to do something, he's thinking about taking the dogs and us on a nature walk. I still don't have a car, and I'm really trying to be a good sport, but my patience is wearing thin. I can't take Brandon to his appointments, I have to get rides to work and back, and I just want my Independence back. Not that I go out alot, but if I want to I can't. Kinda like when I used to smoke. I'd freak out if I couldn't find my pack of smokes or a lighter, even if I didn't need one at that moment, just knowing where they were calmed me down. Kinda glad I quit smoking, I do miss it sometimes though, and it smells so good when other people do it. Okay, enough rambling! Hope you all had a Happy New Years.