Blowin off some steam

Men suck.

Tomorrow is Brandon's Day

I decided that I would take each of the kids out for their own special “day” together before the new baby comes. This Friday is Brandon, next is Kaylin. Brandon’s is causing a small scheduling problem, as Friday he has school pictures. We have solved this by compromising and having his pictures taken at Walmart instead (plus it saves me a shit load of money). Before his pictures, I will drop off his 2nd pair of glasses which are broken to be fixed, and get his hair cut. I love Walmart, where else can you get glasses, haircuts, pictures taken, buy groceries, plants, clothes, tires, gas, and anything else you need? Then his adventure starts. We are going to the Shell Factory to go to their petting zoo and do some of the activities they have there. Brandon would then like to have Burger King for lunch and go walk through Toys R Us. I am excited! Plus I get a vacation day from work for fun stuff instead of appointments and sick kids. Kaylin is still not sure what she wants to do with her day. She wants to go to the movies, Claires for earrings, lunch at a nice restaurant, pottery, and walking the mall. We can’t do everything, so she is trying to plan it out.

In other news, Brandon has been swear word free! I never thought it would happen, but it has! He also got his fingers slammed in the door of Rick’s Jeep last night. That sucked, he screamed bloody murder, but they were not broken.

I am officially 6 months pregnant (well I was last week), it’s going by fast and my belly is getting BIG!

The good ole days visited us yesterday :0(

Yesterday...where do I start. I guess I will recap the entire day starting with a little background. The new babysitter expressed her desire to have 5 hours a week. I told her that this was not going to always be the case. Monday I took a day off for some appointments, Rick had off Tuesday and Wednesday, Rick got out of work on Thursday around 2pm. I told Rick to go fishing after work on Thursday so she could get a few hours there. My mom was watching them all day Friday, but to keep a potentially good babysitter, I had her drop him off at the house with the sitter at 2pm. Now I'll recap Friday for ya.. Dropped Brandon off at my moms at 7:15 in the morning. Kaylin ended up staying home because she wanted to sleep in. I called my mom around 9 to check in and all was well. Talked to the babysitter at 3-ish and she wanted to "talk". She realized how much she was letting Brandon get away with things after seeing how my mom dealt with him. She said we all need to get on the same page about what he is allowed to eat and do. Although I had went over all this with her on her two interviews, I guess she needed to hear it again. I obliged, and that was that. I little later she calls and tells me that there is a situation she needs my help with. Apparently Brandon wanted to eat more, the sitter said no, and he blew up. He picked up the stool to throw at her, and she quickly diffused that situation, then told him he was on time out. He ran in my room in a tornado of swear words and objects being thrown and locked the door. On the other side of the door he was screaming and throwing things at the door. She was of course concerned for his safety and probably asking her self what the hell she got into-so she called. I told her to give the phone to Kaylin and I had her put the phone on speaker. I talked him out of the bedroom and tried to talk him into going on time out. It was too late for talking to him at that point. He was too far gone. He had shut down and was beyond thinking, reasoning and making choices. He was just screaming (really screaming), crying, whining, and repeating a non sense phrase. He hung up the phone on me after me trying to reground him over the phone for half an hour. I went to my boss and told her I had to leave and why. Raced home and he was still very agitated, but not "stuck" with the screaming and repetition. I talked briefly with the babysitter and asked her if she was going to quit, and she said no, but she wasn't going to be able to watch him during spring break or for any full days. Afterwards he was still very agitated and kept getting wound back up. I took him to his room and hit his "reset" button. He was an angel after that. I was then able to talk to him about what had happened. I started with asking him what he ate that day. 2 smores pop tarts, macaroni and cheese, strawberries, ice pop at Grandmas, carrot cake, and cheese. Going through my mental list of food with red 40, yellow 5 and MSG (Brandon is not allowed these things, they are known triggers) , I went ***DINGDINGDING*** when he got to ice pop. I asked him if it was red, and he said "yes". I refuse to blame the entire episode on a frickin ice pop, I do, however, blame the ice pop for being the "trigger", the rest was up to Brandon to make correct choices which he did not make. We have not had a meltdown like that in probably close to a year, that made it so much harder to deal with. Plus it scared the shit out of me. He needed to be put in a basket hold to be held safe, but how do you do that when you are 6 months pregnant? I was scared he would kick me or head butt me in the stomach. He used to get very violent back in the day when he would have a meltdown and holding him safe was one of the only tools we had that worked. Now for those of you who don't understand or know Brandon, the mentioned above is his disability, not him being a snot nosed little punk. He is not neurotypical (google it) like you or me, he cannot make the proper connections in his brain to filter out certain things and then it shuts down. You can see him getting agitated, and that is your window to calm him down. Having a new baby sitter, she did not recognize this and he went into full blown meltdown, and at that point Brandon left the building. This morning, so far so good. I'm dreading a repeat performance.

I guess I better write something

I keep coming up with these great ideas of things to blog about. They hardly, if ever come to fruition. I apologize for that. I guess you will just have to deal with an update instead of a well thought out, deeply moving, intelligent sounding, beautifully well written article.

We have temporarily won the battle of the bad words. I have not heard one in several days ( I say this as I'm knocking on wood), he has not written one, or drawn a picture of one. This is good. I am glad it's starting to stick.

Rick took the kids to Kaylin's soccer practice and gave me the night off. Big smiles. I took a bath and read some of my book. It was uneventful and wonderful. I got to shave me legs! I couldn't find any of that fancy scmancy bubble bath so I settled on Mr Bubble, it was that or Brandon's Transformer bubbles!

Pictures of bad words

Thanks to my friend Amber who has hacked my page (with my user name and password) and posted the scanned copy of Brandon’s picture of bad words. I posted earlier in the week about him getting in trouble on the bus for doing this, and I thought I would share it with you all so you don’t think I am out of my mind. Apologies to my dad, who will be very disappointed in my lack of posting skills (he is a computer genius!). I think that Brandon was trying his very hardest to outsmart us. First he was saying bad words and getting soap. Next he was spelling bad words, and now writing them. I really think he is trying to find away around the new demands that are being placed on him. I ((((think)))) he is finally breaking down on the new restriction placed on him. We are giving him soap much less and he is using words like “crap” and “frickin” instead of, well, ya know. To a parent out in public they would probably be outraged to hear this little red head saying “crap” and “frickin”. For me, I am very proud! He is choosing to think, and make a different choice, a better choice.

Pictures of Bad Words

(Poster by super account hacker Amber, for technologically challenged Julie MUHAHAHAHHA)

Here is your clicky link to The Picture

Baby, Kaylin, and Brandon news

I am getting excited about my first “real” baby shower. It will have people I know come and we play games and eat food and have great time. My first two babies were preemies and we had an impromptu shower, where about 5-6 people showed up, 3 of them were my mom and sisters. I am not complaining. I was in a much different situation then than I’m in now. This time I have a job, health insurance, stability and a stronger support system. My friend is throwing my shower sometime in April or May, and it will be at my mom’s house. Rick’s sister Maureen let me know that she would be getting us the crib and my friend Fran is getting us a Pack N Play. This weekend I’m going to pick out a car seat, look at strollers, and MAYBE register at Wal-Mart for the shower. I’m starting to get really excited about meeting Noah and seeing what kind of personality he will have. I’m also getting nervous about getting him the things he needs before he gets here, without going broke. I am really feeling the time crunch! It has been so long since I’ve had an infant, and I worry I won’t remember anything.

In Kaylin news, yesterday she had decided to move out over an incident regarding her brother. To prove her seriousness, she grabbed her bean bag chair and stormed out, parking it right in the front yard. This all came about while I was on a phone call with a friend (also a fellow blogger). Kaylin ran in the room and told me Brandon called her a bad word. Brandon seemed really upset, and she seemed really smug. I told her that since I wasn’t there to hear it, and both of you lie, I will not do anything. This sent her into an emotional frenzy type tornado. I guess she was offended that I questioned her integrity I suppose. She loves to instigate, antagonize, she seeks any and all drama, especially when it pertains to getting Brandon in trouble. Brandon lies, Kaylin lies.

In Brandon news, he got in trouble on the bus for drawing pictures of bad words. After getting caught, he decided to say bad words. I’m really, really hoping that after a few weeks of consistent soap-in-mouth we will be done with bad words.

Shit I hate this fight against bad words!

Our most recent goal has been to replace the boundaries in the household. With Kaylin the first goal has been listening/obeying, with Brandon, it has been bad words. If he says a bad word, he will immediately get soap in his mouth. We took away warnings and 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances. We thought that after a few "lessons" that he would "get it". This is not true! This boy has had ALOT of soap, and still keeps swearing. He knows what bad words are, knows he cannot say them, knows the consequences for when he does. Yet he keeps on talking nasty, the "lessons" are not making any impact. So, I ask you--what do you do next? I refuse to let him continue talking this way.

Update

With all the sillies I have been posting about, I forgot to mention a change in the house. A big one. Our old, terrible, awful, sleeping, useless babysitter, decided to get a full time job and wasn't able to watch Brandon anymore. I was going to wait for the summer to replace her, but this works too. I figured I had the whole summer during my maternity leave to find someone that would be the right "fit" for our family. I went on http://www.sittercity.com/ where I have an account (which I paid like for) and posted a job. This time I left my phone number and hoped for the best. I was brutally honest in my ad, I felt that was important. I finally got a call from an older woman. She was getting social security and just needed alittle extra income and something to do with her time. We set up an interview and she came to the house to meet Brandon and talk with us. She asked alot of questions, and so did I. After everything, she was still interested, but told me to think about it before making a decision. I waited a week and called her, telling her I wanted her to meet Rick, since she would be dealing with him in the evenings and would rarely see me. This was her first week, and I really feel that this will work. She is very grandmotherly and doesn't mind working as little as possible. This is good, since sometimes we only need someone for 15min. My ONLY reservation is with her husband, he is a manager with Department of Children and Families. I have had nothing but negative experiences, and heard nothing but negative things about this organization in Florida. I worry that she may misconstrue something and tell her husband, and him doing what he does, feels the need to open an investigation. I do not want or need that kinda shit in my life. I know that the above scenario is far fetched, but it still sits in my mind. Oh yeah, she folded my laundry too.

What are your opinion's on registries? I was thinking about doing one for my baby shower, but have mixed feelings on the matter. I know when my friend got married, I didn't think to highly of it, but is it different for babies? And what about third babies, not first? Thoughts? Anyone?

and mommy laid down the law

I have decided to redefine the boundaries in my household. The line has been very slowly pushed beyond what was set by two very smart, manipulative, and wild children. I have been pushing back. They do not like it. Tonight I sat them down and told them where the line belongs and what I was doing. I told them that I was not their friend and the quicker they followed direction and rules, the easier their life would get. I told them not to fight it, but to comply. They do not like me, and it will not be a very nice place to be for awhile, but they will get the hang of it. For those of you with little kids, you know how this works. Little Sally and Timmy are fine, everything is going smoothly the routine works, and then one day you realize that they are getting away with a lot more. You don't even see it at first, you have to look real hard. Then things escalate and they start talking back and giving you an attitude. They forget who the parents are, they think you owe them something and everything is unfair. This is where I'm at now, and I'm taking back my house!

Whiney, rotten, stinker boy

This weekend Brandon was rotten. Screaming, swearing, public temper tantrums. It was terrible, and awful, and embarrassing. Saturday we did chores, after he was finished with his jobs (oiling the wood tables, washing a door, and taking laundry out of the dryer), he decided that he wanted to go to his friend Vincents house. He called him on the phone and told him he was on his way over. I was in my pajamas doing chores, as was Kaylin. I had no intention of taking him to Vincents house, I had already made plans with them for later. I told him this and he freaked out, he said he was already packed to go there. I told him he didn't ask if he could go, and that wasn't okay. He cried, whined, and was generally difficult for a few hours. That was just one example of what went on this weekend. I don't want to do a play by play of everything he did this weekend. We did have to have Rick leave Walmart with Brandon because he threw a full blown tantrum over a box of Whoppers. The thing that bothers me the most, is this is not his disability, this was him being a jerk on purpose. I believe he is testing the boundaries and pushing the envelope. He didn't like it when we pushed back. I hope that this isn't his disability, if it is, then this is new stuff. I don't want new stuff.