Reflections of the way life used to be....

Or reflections of the way I wish life were or life could be.  What would it be like if things were different?  If Brandon wasn't bipolar and his other variety pack of ever changing diagnoses.  What would I be struggling with, I imagine it would be something. But I wouldn't have my understanding of things in this world without him.  I would have continued on into oblivion about mental illness. 

I'm not a loud voice in the world of advocacy.  I don't have facebook pages, or a blog that is actually read, or walk for the cause and what have you.  I am Brandon's voice though, the only one he has.  The more I read, the more scared I get.  I read on other's blogs about how the system has failed them and there mentally ill child, now adult is in jail and not received meds or services.  Is that him later down the road?  Too much uncertainty keeps me unsettled.

Brandon and I met with a new group on Monday.  We met for a mental health assessment for services and to get a new doctor, hopefully one that will listen and help.  I didn't hate the therapist, but I didn't get a warm fuzzy feeling either.  He will meet with the Nurse Practitioner on March 11th.  I don't even get a doctor.  My thought process on this is as follows;  if I'm going to get a shitty doctor it might as well be closer to home.  This group seems more organized than Family Preservation.  Hopefully they can help.  I'm definitely guarded.