Earth to Brandon....

Update on baby Noah

2009-06-23T11:04:00.001-04:00

Thank you all for your prayers and concerns. My friend is putting up this update for me, since the hospital computer thinks this is a "dating" service. Noah is stable and has been moved to a room for stable babies. We don't know much more than we did before and hope to have more information later after we get a plan of care from his doctor. They have repeated the ultrasound of his heart and kidneys, and as far as we understand they have come back fine. Yesterday the did an ultrasound of his brain and further renal studies. His blood pressure is still high, and he is getting medication for that. They would like to find the reason for the blood pressure being high and think that his kidneys may have some sort of blockage which is confusing his body into making his pressure higher. His high red blood cell count is still a concern, and I'm not sure what his platlet level is. I will try to udate later. Rick and I are staying at the Ronald McDonald house and the kids are with Maureen.

Calander of recent events to catch you all up

2009-05-12T13:46:00.002-04:00

April 24-26 my dad came down from New York to visit. I made a kick ass roast for dinner Friday night, Saturday we went mini golfing and went to Carrabbas, Sunday afternoon he headed back home. It was a nice time and I hate seeing him go, but am excited they he will be bringing my Marge in the fall.

April 26th at 2 pm was my baby shower. It was great! I was so surprised with all the people that came. I was also surprised by the thoughtfulness and generosity of all my friends and family. We received almost everything we needed for the baby and what we didn't receive we were able to buy with cash and gift cards.

May 1st we went and saw the Charlotte StoneCrabs, the local minor league baseball team. My work has season passes and makes them available with a parking pass to employees from time to time. The seats were right behind home plate in the first row. It was a great experience for the family.

May 4th I took a day off from work. I got the kids ready for school and went back to bed until 10:30 am. I took my shower and headed off to the dentist for a teeth cleaning. After that I stopped to visit Fran and grabbed some drive thru lunch. I then headed to Sarasota to give my deposition against my ex husband. It was emotionally draining, but I did what I had to do. I treated myself to a little retail therapy at Babies R Us on the way home and purchased Noah's swing.

May 5th I had my appointment with my perinatologist. Noah weighed 4 lbs 14 oz, the same Kaylin weighed when she was born. I was 30 wks and 4 days pregnant, but Noah measured 31 wks and 5 days. He is measuring big and ahead of schedule.

May 6th Brandon had his Dr Hubbard appointment. We got there at 8am, got called back after 10 and saw Dr Hubbard in the hallway for 3 minutes. Believe it or not it was a tiny bit productive. His insurance changed and Dr Hubbard's Arcadia office doesn't take the new insurance, but her Bradenton office does. So I now have him set up in the Bradenton office. The good thing about that office is that the appointments aren't quadruple booked for every 15 minutes. If he has a 8am appointment, he will been seen at 8 and we can leave right after that. I can also drop him off at school on my way to work instead of finding someone to watch him.

May 8th I saw Dr Gregush and all is well.

MMMmmmm....dinner

2009-04-26T09:14:00.002-04:00

Yesterday we went mini golfing with my dad. We had a lot of fun, and the kids did good. Brandon was, well Brandon, and that was okay. Rick came home from work and we all went to Carrabbas for dinner. It was totally frickin awesome. Brandon was amazing! Kaylin ate WAY TOO MUCH and was suffering the rest of the night. It was an awesome meal. Dad will be stopped by this morning and leaving in the afternoon to go see my grandma. It went by super fast. I will def. miss him, but can't wait until he brings my evil step mother down in the fall. I haven't seen her since I moved to Florida and she has never met Brandon or seen Kaylin since she was three. I REALLY like her and miss her A LOT.

Yea! My Dad is here.

2009-04-24T20:04:00.003-04:00

My dad is here. I missed him a lot. We ate a kick ass roast with potatoes and carrots. We visited awhile. Brandon did OKAY, had a few moments of jerkiness, like when he decided to put dirt in magic Grandpa's soda. He also decided to say HELL, which got him some soap in his mouth. I think a lot of it had to do with him being excited and he also had a field trip which over stimulated him. Hopefully tomorrow will go a little smoother. My dad brought me a video camera thingy called flip video. It is really, really cool. You down load it onto the computer and can share videos online, or save on the computer, or burn on a disk. This is really cool since we have the baby coming soon. Tomorrow we are going out to dinner when Rick gets home from work tomorrow.

Personality test

2009-04-23T21:22:00.002-04:00

Main Type	Overall Self

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Scale (|||||||%) results:

Enneagram Test Results

Type 1	Perfectionism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Type 2	Helpfulness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Type 3	Image Focus	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Type 4	Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Type 5	Detachment	\|\|\|\|	18%
Type 6	Anxiety	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Type 7	Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|	18%
Type 8	Aggressiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Type 9	Calmness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	58%

Your main type is 2
Your variant is social

Take Free Enneagram Personality Test

Finally, and oh crap!

2009-04-22T16:13:00.002-04:00

I finally got through to the state attorney's office. My baby squirrel does not have to go to court and testify, or give a deposition. They made a mistake. Whew! Boy can I breathe a little better now. I still have to go, but that is okay.

In other news...
My step dad was feeling dizzy at work and having elevated blood pressure. My mom made him go to the doctor, and this time it was good that she did. They did and EKG and it came back abnormal so they made him do the stress test. The stress test came back abnormal too. They did some nuclear studies and found out that he had a heart attack and has some scarring/damage to his heart. Friday they go and see the cardiologist and see what's next.

Breastfeeding class and some complaining

2009-04-21T21:21:00.003-04:00

Tonight I somehow talked Rick into going to my breastfeeding class. I am proud to say that he behaved himself. We learned a lot, but it also left a lot of decisions to be made. One of them is how long do I do it for, and how will I handle pumping at work if I choose to do so after my maternity leave. I guess we will play wait and see. There are a lot of factors that influence this big decision. Kaylin and Brandon went to my moms. Kaylin is horrified that I will be breastfeeding. She calls it booby sucking and states that it is the most unnatural, inhumane, disgusting thing to do. I told her to get over it...

I saw Dr. Gregush today, and everything is going well. I am 29 weeks and 4 days. Noah weighs about 3 lbs 8 oz and looks to be a week ahead in size. My blood pressure was higher than usual, but no one was concerned. Dr. Gregush was also very excited and happy about my cervix. I know you're jealous that my cervix is so awesome.

I've also been irritable about some different things going on in life. I will just make a list;
1. Possible court thing for daughter.
2. State Attorney's office won't call me back (see #1)
3. Pissed at Tori about her sucky attitude and nasty comments
4. Pissed at girls at work about time off issues
5. Annoyed at Rick (as usual) for being lazy and not motivated
6. Not liking the neglected feeling
7. Nervous about baby shower (I don't like to be at the center of things)
8. People aren't RSVP-ing for shower
9. Tori is being a bitch about my shower
10. Mom is being nutty
11. Self esteem has plummeted to an all time low
12. My house if a mess

Just for shit's and giggles I will make a list of good crap;
1. My dad is coming to visit
2. My maternity leave is a few short months away
3. My pregnancy is going well
4. I have two great kids
5. I have a boyfriend who is nice
6. Excited about baby shower
7. Proud that I quit smoking and am sticking to it
8. I have only gained 16 lbs during my pregnancy
9. I have family and friends
10. I have a job to pay my bills
11. I am grateful

Sucky crap.

2009-04-20T10:42:00.002-04:00

Well. Those of you who don't know me are not aware of what happened to my family 4 years and two months ago. Those of you who do know, either because we are related, were friends prior, or a very close friend after. Not too many people know the circumstances of what happened and I'm not about to blog that whole mess. It did really, really suck, and it was one of those things you hear about on the news, or some cousins friend, but not to you. It does have to do with my ex husband and why he is in prison. Last Easter he sent me a letter of "confession" and I immediately brought it to the police station and told them what I knew (which was nothing) and told them to leave me out of it. We have just begun to heal and don't need old wounds opened, so leave me alone, we want closure. I haven't heard anything at all. Not until the other day when I get an officer at my door serving me with papers to give a deposition. So somehow I got drug into the shit again. I have to file my deposition with the state attorney's office in May. In my mail this weekend was another letter, telling me to bring my daughter "Megan" in this Thursday to go over some things, and that she has a deposition the same day as I, but earlier. I have several concerns about this. The first and main one being my daughter's name is not Megan. The second, if this request is in fact for my daughter, is dragging her through this shit again. She has given testimony and a deposition in the last case, and has had all this time to heal and work on moving forward. What is bringing it all up again going to do to her? What will it do to her progress, her delicate self esteem, her important healing process? What does this new case have anything to do with us? On top of this I really don't need the stress. I am a very high risk pregnancy and don't need to get myself worked up. I'm getting close to the time frame that I had my other kids and am scared of premature delivery, my high blood pressure getting higher, and getting pre eclampsia again. I'm doing everything I can to stay at work and off bed rest up until I deliver. Will this be the event that causes it all to go down hill? I wasn't stressed out too badly when they said I had to give a deposition, but now I'm really upset about Kaylin being thrown into it. I have to worry about her too. Arghh, bleck.

Kaylin's special day and an update

2009-04-07T21:38:00.002-04:00

Friday was Kaylin's special day with momma. We went and painted pottery, have a wonderful lunch at Olive Garden, went to see Race to Witch Mountain, and shopped in the mall. I had a really nice time. I think she appreciated it for like 5 minutes, and that is a record.

I went to my perinatologist today, and all is well. Noah weights 2lbs 7oz and is 13.5 inches long. He is measuring a week ahead of schedule. My blood pressure is doing what it is suppose to. Rick and the kids came this time. I thought they would think it was cool. Brandon thought it was cool that he got to see the babies wiener. Kaylin thought it was cool when he opened his mouth to yawn. That was all they really said about it.

I qualified for an upgrade on my cell phone and after researching and deciding to stay with my current carrier, I got me a new phone coming in the mail. For some stupid reason I am very excited about it. Probably because it's fancy schmancy, and I'm more of a practical kinda girl.

I am frustrated with some stuff at home, feeling a bit neglected, feeling the time crunch, feeling the stress of a new baby to name a few things. I don't want to get into details, I will spare you all the whining about my pretty okay relationship. Things could be a lot worse. I knew what Rick was like going into this, and back then I chose to manage, so I will continue to do just that, manage. I don't expect him to change, or some sort of personality changing miracle. I will take the friendship, and security that I have, and not bitch about the lack of well affection/attention/sensitivity. He doesn't cheat, lie, drink at the bar, he has a good sense of humor, he's really good with the kids, loves animals, does not have a temper and has a kind heart. So I will shut the hell up and be grateful for him.

The Good Wife's Guide

2009-04-07T08:20:00.000-04:00

Blowin off some steam

2009-03-30T08:32:00.000-04:00

Men suck.

Tomorrow is Brandon's Day

2009-03-26T16:47:00.001-04:00

I decided that I would take each of the kids out for their own special “day” together before the new baby comes. This Friday is Brandon, next is Kaylin. Brandon’s is causing a small scheduling problem, as Friday he has school pictures. We have solved this by compromising and having his pictures taken at Walmart instead (plus it saves me a shit load of money). Before his pictures, I will drop off his 2nd pair of glasses which are broken to be fixed, and get his hair cut. I love Walmart, where else can you get glasses, haircuts, pictures taken, buy groceries, plants, clothes, tires, gas, and anything else you need? Then his adventure starts. We are going to the Shell Factory to go to their petting zoo and do some of the activities they have there. Brandon would then like to have Burger King for lunch and go walk through Toys R Us. I am excited! Plus I get a vacation day from work for fun stuff instead of appointments and sick kids. Kaylin is still not sure what she wants to do with her day. She wants to go to the movies, Claires for earrings, lunch at a nice restaurant, pottery, and walking the mall. We can’t do everything, so she is trying to plan it out.

In other news, Brandon has been swear word free! I never thought it would happen, but it has! He also got his fingers slammed in the door of Rick’s Jeep last night. That sucked, he screamed bloody murder, but they were not broken.

I am officially 6 months pregnant (well I was last week), it’s going by fast and my belly is getting BIG!

The good ole days visited us yesterday :0(

2009-03-21T09:43:00.002-04:00

Yesterday...where do I start. I guess I will recap the entire day starting with a little background. The new babysitter expressed her desire to have 5 hours a week. I told her that this was not going to always be the case. Monday I took a day off for some appointments, Rick had off Tuesday and Wednesday, Rick got out of work on Thursday around 2pm. I told Rick to go fishing after work on Thursday so she could get a few hours there. My mom was watching them all day Friday, but to keep a potentially good babysitter, I had her drop him off at the house with the sitter at 2pm. Now I'll recap Friday for ya.. Dropped Brandon off at my moms at 7:15 in the morning. Kaylin ended up staying home because she wanted to sleep in. I called my mom around 9 to check in and all was well. Talked to the babysitter at 3-ish and she wanted to "talk". She realized how much she was letting Brandon get away with things after seeing how my mom dealt with him. She said we all need to get on the same page about what he is allowed to eat and do. Although I had went over all this with her on her two interviews, I guess she needed to hear it again. I obliged, and that was that. I little later she calls and tells me that there is a situation she needs my help with. Apparently Brandon wanted to eat more, the sitter said no, and he blew up. He picked up the stool to throw at her, and she quickly diffused that situation, then told him he was on time out. He ran in my room in a tornado of swear words and objects being thrown and locked the door. On the other side of the door he was screaming and throwing things at the door. She was of course concerned for his safety and probably asking her self what the hell she got into-so she called. I told her to give the phone to Kaylin and I had her put the phone on speaker. I talked him out of the bedroom and tried to talk him into going on time out. It was too late for talking to him at that point. He was too far gone. He had shut down and was beyond thinking, reasoning and making choices. He was just screaming (really screaming), crying, whining, and repeating a non sense phrase. He hung up the phone on me after me trying to reground him over the phone for half an hour. I went to my boss and told her I had to leave and why. Raced home and he was still very agitated, but not "stuck" with the screaming and repetition. I talked briefly with the babysitter and asked her if she was going to quit, and she said no, but she wasn't going to be able to watch him during spring break or for any full days. Afterwards he was still very agitated and kept getting wound back up. I took him to his room and hit his "reset" button. He was an angel after that. I was then able to talk to him about what had happened. I started with asking him what he ate that day. 2 smores pop tarts, macaroni and cheese, strawberries, ice pop at Grandmas, carrot cake, and cheese. Going through my mental list of food with red 40, yellow 5 and MSG (Brandon is not allowed these things, they are known triggers) , I went ***DINGDINGDING*** when he got to ice pop. I asked him if it was red, and he said "yes". I refuse to blame the entire episode on a frickin ice pop, I do, however, blame the ice pop for being the "trigger", the rest was up to Brandon to make correct choices which he did not make. We have not had a meltdown like that in probably close to a year, that made it so much harder to deal with. Plus it scared the shit out of me. He needed to be put in a basket hold to be held safe, but how do you do that when you are 6 months pregnant? I was scared he would kick me or head butt me in the stomach. He used to get very violent back in the day when he would have a meltdown and holding him safe was one of the only tools we had that worked. Now for those of you who don't understand or know Brandon, the mentioned above is his disability, not him being a snot nosed little punk. He is not neurotypical (google it) like you or me, he cannot make the proper connections in his brain to filter out certain things and then it shuts down. You can see him getting agitated, and that is your window to calm him down. Having a new baby sitter, she did not recognize this and he went into full blown meltdown, and at that point Brandon left the building. This morning, so far so good. I'm dreading a repeat performance.

I guess I better write something

2009-03-19T15:44:00.002-04:00

I keep coming up with these great ideas of things to blog about. They hardly, if ever come to fruition. I apologize for that. I guess you will just have to deal with an update instead of a well thought out, deeply moving, intelligent sounding, beautifully well written article.

We have temporarily won the battle of the bad words. I have not heard one in several days ( I say this as I'm knocking on wood), he has not written one, or drawn a picture of one. This is good. I am glad it's starting to stick.

Rick took the kids to Kaylin's soccer practice and gave me the night off. Big smiles. I took a bath and read some of my book. It was uneventful and wonderful. I got to shave me legs! I couldn't find any of that fancy scmancy bubble bath so I settled on Mr Bubble, it was that or Brandon's Transformer bubbles!

Pictures of bad words

2009-03-13T15:55:00.004-04:00

Thanks to my friend Amber who has hacked my page (with my user name and password) and posted the scanned copy of Brandon’s picture of bad words. I posted earlier in the week about him getting in trouble on the bus for doing this, and I thought I would share it with you all so you don’t think I am out of my mind. Apologies to my dad, who will be very disappointed in my lack of posting skills (he is a computer genius!). I think that Brandon was trying his very hardest to outsmart us. First he was saying bad words and getting soap. Next he was spelling bad words, and now writing them. I really think he is trying to find away around the new demands that are being placed on him. I ((((think)))) he is finally breaking down on the new restriction placed on him. We are giving him soap much less and he is using words like “crap” and “frickin” instead of, well, ya know. To a parent out in public they would probably be outraged to hear this little red head saying “crap” and “frickin”. For me, I am very proud! He is choosing to think, and make a different choice, a better choice.

Pictures of Bad Words

2009-03-13T10:23:00.003-04:00

(Poster by super account hacker Amber, for technologically challenged Julie MUHAHAHAHHA)

Here is your clicky link to The Picture

Baby, Kaylin, and Brandon news

2009-03-11T16:00:00.001-04:00

I am getting excited about my first “real” baby shower. It will have people I know come and we play games and eat food and have great time. My first two babies were preemies and we had an impromptu shower, where about 5-6 people showed up, 3 of them were my mom and sisters. I am not complaining. I was in a much different situation then than I’m in now. This time I have a job, health insurance, stability and a stronger support system. My friend is throwing my shower sometime in April or May, and it will be at my mom’s house. Rick’s sister Maureen let me know that she would be getting us the crib and my friend Fran is getting us a Pack N Play. This weekend I’m going to pick out a car seat, look at strollers, and MAYBE register at Wal-Mart for the shower. I’m starting to get really excited about meeting Noah and seeing what kind of personality he will have. I’m also getting nervous about getting him the things he needs before he gets here, without going broke. I am really feeling the time crunch! It has been so long since I’ve had an infant, and I worry I won’t remember anything.

In Kaylin news, yesterday she had decided to move out over an incident regarding her brother. To prove her seriousness, she grabbed her bean bag chair and stormed out, parking it right in the front yard. This all came about while I was on a phone call with a friend (also a fellow blogger). Kaylin ran in the room and told me Brandon called her a bad word. Brandon seemed really upset, and she seemed really smug. I told her that since I wasn’t there to hear it, and both of you lie, I will not do anything. This sent her into an emotional frenzy type tornado. I guess she was offended that I questioned her integrity I suppose. She loves to instigate, antagonize, she seeks any and all drama, especially when it pertains to getting Brandon in trouble. Brandon lies, Kaylin lies.

In Brandon news, he got in trouble on the bus for drawing pictures of bad words. After getting caught, he decided to say bad words. I’m really, really hoping that after a few weeks of consistent soap-in-mouth we will be done with bad words.

Shit I hate this fight against bad words!

2009-03-08T17:01:00.003-04:00

Our most recent goal has been to replace the boundaries in the household. With Kaylin the first goal has been listening/obeying, with Brandon, it has been bad words. If he says a bad word, he will immediately get soap in his mouth. We took away warnings and 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances. We thought that after a few "lessons" that he would "get it". This is not true! This boy has had ALOT of soap, and still keeps swearing. He knows what bad words are, knows he cannot say them, knows the consequences for when he does. Yet he keeps on talking nasty, the "lessons" are not making any impact. So, I ask you--what do you do next? I refuse to let him continue talking this way.

Update

2009-03-06T18:36:00.003-05:00

With all the sillies I have been posting about, I forgot to mention a change in the house. A big one. Our old, terrible, awful, sleeping, useless babysitter, decided to get a full time job and wasn't able to watch Brandon anymore. I was going to wait for the summer to replace her, but this works too. I figured I had the whole summer during my maternity leave to find someone that would be the right "fit" for our family. I went on http://www.sittercity.com/ where I have an account (which I paid like for) and posted a job. This time I left my phone number and hoped for the best. I was brutally honest in my ad, I felt that was important. I finally got a call from an older woman. She was getting social security and just needed alittle extra income and something to do with her time. We set up an interview and she came to the house to meet Brandon and talk with us. She asked alot of questions, and so did I. After everything, she was still interested, but told me to think about it before making a decision. I waited a week and called her, telling her I wanted her to meet Rick, since she would be dealing with him in the evenings and would rarely see me. This was her first week, and I really feel that this will work. She is very grandmotherly and doesn't mind working as little as possible. This is good, since sometimes we only need someone for 15min. My ONLY reservation is with her husband, he is a manager with Department of Children and Families. I have had nothing but negative experiences, and heard nothing but negative things about this organization in Florida. I worry that she may misconstrue something and tell her husband, and him doing what he does, feels the need to open an investigation. I do not want or need that kinda shit in my life. I know that the above scenario is far fetched, but it still sits in my mind. Oh yeah, she folded my laundry too.

2009-03-06T13:32:00.003-05:00

What are your opinion's on registries? I was thinking about doing one for my baby shower, but have mixed feelings on the matter. I know when my friend got married, I didn't think to highly of it, but is it different for babies? And what about third babies, not first? Thoughts? Anyone?

and mommy laid down the law

2009-03-03T19:54:00.003-05:00

I have decided to redefine the boundaries in my household. The line has been very slowly pushed beyond what was set by two very smart, manipulative, and wild children. I have been pushing back. They do not like it. Tonight I sat them down and told them where the line belongs and what I was doing. I told them that I was not their friend and the quicker they followed direction and rules, the easier their life would get. I told them not to fight it, but to comply. They do not like me, and it will not be a very nice place to be for awhile, but they will get the hang of it. For those of you with little kids, you know how this works. Little Sally and Timmy are fine, everything is going smoothly the routine works, and then one day you realize that they are getting away with a lot more. You don't even see it at first, you have to look real hard. Then things escalate and they start talking back and giving you an attitude. They forget who the parents are, they think you owe them something and everything is unfair. This is where I'm at now, and I'm taking back my house!

Whiney, rotten, stinker boy

2009-03-02T09:05:00.003-05:00

This weekend Brandon was rotten. Screaming, swearing, public temper tantrums. It was terrible, and awful, and embarrassing. Saturday we did chores, after he was finished with his jobs (oiling the wood tables, washing a door, and taking laundry out of the dryer), he decided that he wanted to go to his friend Vincents house. He called him on the phone and told him he was on his way over. I was in my pajamas doing chores, as was Kaylin. I had no intention of taking him to Vincents house, I had already made plans with them for later. I told him this and he freaked out, he said he was already packed to go there. I told him he didn't ask if he could go, and that wasn't okay. He cried, whined, and was generally difficult for a few hours. That was just one example of what went on this weekend. I don't want to do a play by play of everything he did this weekend. We did have to have Rick leave Walmart with Brandon because he threw a full blown tantrum over a box of Whoppers. The thing that bothers me the most, is this is not his disability, this was him being a jerk on purpose. I believe he is testing the boundaries and pushing the envelope. He didn't like it when we pushed back. I hope that this isn't his disability, if it is, then this is new stuff. I don't want new stuff.

tax return

2009-02-20T13:09:00.004-05:00

Today my tax return was direct deposited! Yipee. I paid my cards off, scheduled the dogs shots, and am getting my septic tank pumped on Monday. I didn't know that you should get your tank pumped every three years. It's been almost 8 years, oh my. We are going to Sam's club this weekend to stock up on EVERYTHING, and we are going to Lowe's to look at laminate flooring for our bedroom. Gonna pay down the van some, and the rest gets saved for my maternity leave. It felt good to pay off all that stuff.

This weekend we have a birthday party at Chucky Cheese, I would rather have a root canal ( see previous posts to see what I think of root canals). Saturday night I am designated driver for some girls I work with, two of them turned 21 and we are going out drinking, well they are. I believe I am their chaperon and driver for the evening! Just think, I 'm the providing adult supervision. That ought to make ya giggle .

Two whiny days

2009-02-18T15:37:00.003-05:00

Brandon has had two whiny, stinker pants days. Bleck. I think he is putting too much pressure on himself at school to get 100's and when he doesn't, it all goes down hill. I think he is not meeting his own expectations, which I believe is an accomplishment for him(I know that sounds strange) . In previous times, he could care less if he did well or not, he truly didn't care if he got in trouble, he would give me an empty "sorry" and be on his way. Lately, he has been feeling proud of himself and if he makes a mistake he will feel terrible if he has done something wrong, or done poorly. So, in some strange way, I think these bad days are good days, I think we are actually making progress of some sort. Always baby steps.

My Talley trip

2009-02-16T14:49:00.005-05:00

I had a great time in Tallahassee. I packed Friday night. I woke up early on Saturday to straighten out the van and make sure I had everything packed. I woke the kids up to spend a little time with them before I left. Brandon gave me his valentine and it had his picture on it. He told me to take it with me so if I missed him and forgot what he looked like I could good see him and feel happy again. I smooched my babies, and my baby daddy and headed to my moms to help her load up all her stuff. Bob brought their beagle to my house and we dropped their other dog off at the vet (he has stress related colitis, and gets bloody, mucous diarrhea all over my house when they go away). We gassed up and were on the road. I slept, read, made scrubbies, but mainly slept. We stopped in Gainesville to have lunch with my youngest sister Kari. We had sandwiches and salad at McAllisters and it was good food. We dropped Kari off at her apartment so she could get ready for work and hopped back on the road for Tallahassee. We had Sara meet us at the hotel, got ready, went to Chili's for dinner. I had steak, with loaded mash potatoes, and broccoli and it was SO good. We got to her performance early, and that was a REALLY good thing. Bob went inside to get tickets and they were SOLD OUT, and $35 a piece. He went back inside after sharing the news with us and gave them a sob story, got us tickets and at a discount! The performance was amazing, we saw the Tallahassee Symphony Orchestra and was amazed and so proud that my sister was part of it. The first piece was Peter Ilyich Tchiakovsky's Romeo and Juliet, overture-fantasy. This piece reminded me of Bugs Bunny cartoons and Peppy la Pew. I am not very cultured. The second piece (which was my favorite) was by Scott McAllister who was in the audience. He composed the piece with his influence being Nirvana and Alice in Chains. In my opinion there were three parts to the song, and the second being the song Where did you sleep last night? by Nirvana. The clarinet player was one of Sara's professors and he was phenomenal. I didn't realize a clarinet could be played like that, I saw why my sister strives for perfection. The third piece was four different songs. This was written by Robert Schumann and it was Symphony No. 2 in C major, op. 61; sostenuto assai-allegro ma non troppo, allegro vivace, adagio espressivo, and allegro molto vivace. This piece relaxed me and I found myself trying to stay awake. We stayed afterwards and and met her professors. Back to the hotel we went and I went with Sara to her apartment. On the way to her apartment she took me to see the capital building and her campus. I had a good night sleep and we woke up to get ready. Sara had to pack for her audition in Houston and meet a friend somewhere. She dropped me off at the hotel and said her good byes to mom, Bob, and Gram. We then headed off to The Waffle House. I am still thinking about how good it was to eat there! I had a ham and cheese omelet, hash browns, toast, and bacon. Back on the road, stopped in Gainesville to see Kari again, and then back home.

Mom's going to Tallahassee...

2009-02-13T20:30:00.003-05:00

Tonight I am packing for Tallahassee. Rick will be spending the weekend kid sitting. Me, my mom, Bob, and Gram are all loading up the mini van and heading up to Tallahassee. On the way we are stopping in Gainesville to visit with my sister Kari and then going to see Sara. We are having dinner and then seeing her music performance. She is a senior in college, and I have never seen her at school since she's been there. She will graduate in May and then is going on for her masters. I am very grateful to NOT be driving the five and half hours. I get to stretch out in the back seat of the van with my pillow, blankie, a good book, my cooler of drinks, my snacks, and my bag of crap to make scrubbies. I'm excited to see both of my sisters apartments.

Brandon got ready by himself!

2009-02-12T09:17:00.002-05:00

Brandon is now in second grade. One would think that this being his third year of school, not counting preschool, he would know what he needs to do to get ready for school. Nope. Every morning I put his clothes out and tell him to put them on, tell him to take his meds, brush his teeth, socks and shoes, put his folder in his backpack. Every morning I try to get him to do what's next. It never sinks in. That was until this morning. This morning I woke him up and went to check my email. I came out and he was dressed, with shoes, in the bathroom brushing his teeth. He even took his meds and had his back pack ready! Two weeks ago he served his own dinner. He can fill the bath tub on his own now, and wipe his butt. I am so proud of the progress he has recently made. He is finally growing up, I think....

5 great days at school

2009-02-10T16:37:00.002-05:00

Brandon has had 5 great days in a row! He has had 100's all five days-Wed, Thurs, Fri, Mon, and Tues. We are so proud of him. He is now off of gold probation and back to sitting at the gold table and drinking chocolate milk. Life is good....

He did get soap in his mouth for calling us all a bunch of frickin assholes. He screamed that he hated us and said the soap tastes like crap. I told him that the soap tasted fine, it was the asshole that tasted like crap.

Tweens! Horumph..

2009-02-09T10:10:00.002-05:00

My tween daughter had her tween friend over this weekend. It was interesting to say the least. It is amazing the transformation that takes over a tween when a peer is in the mix. This girl has been over before, and each time she comes, she is a little less nicer. Kaylin tried to pull all kinds of stunts, and got verbal several times. She pushed all the buttons try to show off and prove that she is in control of the situation. That girl almost got her head knocked off this weekend. She did get yelled at, and probally embarassed, but let me tell you I took it easy on her. After her friend left, I layed down the law and told her if she ever pulled that crap again I woudl call her out in front of her friend, and then drive her friend home.

The meds...

2009-02-05T09:18:00.002-05:00

We finally got the Invega back into Brandon. I love my pharmacist, he is the bomb. He helped so much along with me harassing the insurance company and Dr Hubbard’s office it was taken care. And it only took a month!! I was ready to take him to the insurance company and let him throw chairs at THEM, and then see how fast they approved his meds. It’s been a week since he’s been back on it, and we are already seeing him being less of a jerk (which I say with love), he still has a long way to go to get back where he was. That’s what pisses me off the most. The insurance company didn’t only take away a little pill; they took away the last year of progress we made. It also shows me how fragile Brandon and his condition are. Before this mess I was starting to think, “Maybe we can take him off one or two of his meds”, and “maybe he doesn’t need them anymore”. It proved to me that he does most definitely need his meds, and that his meds are doing their job. I used to be one of those parents that was against medicating there kids. I thought it was a tool for parents to use when they didn’t want to deal with the parenting issues that faced them. I now see medication as a foundation for treatment. Medication, with therapy and behavior modification makes it possible for Brandon to think, when before he couldn’t. The more positive brain connections are making the more the bad ones will have a chance to die off letting the new connections grow and thrive. This in turn gives him an opportunity to improve, not just stay at a stand still. In Brandon’s case, medication is about quality of life, for him and us. I can’t see into the future. I don’t know if he will ever be off his medication, or if the meds he is on now will always work. I know what his meds have done, and have seen him without any meds. Brandon is more functional, happy, well rounded, a better student, and the stress level at home has been reduced significantly.

"The Hormones" part one of.....

2009-01-29T12:49:00.002-05:00

Apparently I have turned into an unstable, psychotic, moody, snappy, bitchy, unfair and unreasonable person. This, of course, is blamed on my hormones, and NOT on any one person's behavior. You all know how us pregnant chicks get. It has to be my hormones making me a bitch, not the fact that my baby's daddy (wow, that sounds Jerry Springer-ish) has told me that the name is now open for discussion, but he only wants to discuss his choices, not mine. So....I have drawn the conclusion that it is open for him to discuss with himself. I have also taken the hormone blame for other reasons such as; wanting to be comforted while crying after talking with the specialist on Tuesday and being told by BD to "get over it, the doctor is just trying to bill your insurance for as much as possible", also becoming a bitch and developing an attitude because I am having a boy, not a girl (not because we are fighting tooth and nail over boy names), I am also moody because of my house. If you have seen my house, you would feel moody too. I have a short amount of time to gut my bedroom, replace the flooring, and clean the entire house before my water prematurely breaks or I get put on bed rest. Please realize that the above comments are dripping with sarcasm and I do not blame my hormones for the above blog. I entirely blame someone else for not accepting responsibility for the emotional well being of his much better, and cuter half. I also blame this person for not accepting his part of the responsibility for the house and what needs to be done with the inside, outside and people within it.

New poll

2009-01-29T09:59:00.001-05:00

There is a new poll to the right of the blog. Please cast you vote. If you vote for Richard I won't love you anymore....

What really happened yesterday

2009-01-28T16:33:00.005-05:00

Yesterday I went to the perinatologist at Maternal Fetal Medicine, since I am a high risk pregnancy. Rick and I drove to Cape Coral to meet with the doctor. I started off with the nurse who drilled me for my entire medical history, including which hospital I was born in. I then met with the ultrasound technician. That was the best part, we saw the baby and every part of his. We found out he was a boy, which I was very anxious to find out about. We saw him moving, waving, kicking, his kidneys and heart. Very cool. It made everything so much more real. Then we met with the doctor. That wasn't so cool. Because of my previous history with Kaylin and Brandon I have to be watched very closely. I have to have a renal ultrasound, a 24hr urine collection test, blood work, meet with a genetics specialist, and the baby needs an ultrasound of his heart next month. He made me feel like I did something wrong. I did this the right way. When I had my yearly with Dr. Khalidi I asked her if I could have more babies, I asked her if we could fix my bicornuate uterus, I asked her about the pre eclampsia, and the gestational diabetes. She said there was no reason to correct to uterus, since each baby I had was bigger, she said my uterus would stretch each time and it was no issue. She explained to me that the pre eclampsia had a chance of coming back, but the percentage was low. She did tell me I would get the gestational diabetes back. I thought that I was well informed going into this, and now I feel that I was mis informed, or maybe Khalidi should have sent me to another doctor like the one I am going to now. I asked her about this two years ago and was told to go for it, now I'm doubting myself (even though this was not a planned pregnancy) and I guess my confidence of a less than last time complicated, kinda normal pregnancy is out the window. Now I'm re living in my head my pregnancy with Brandon, and I think part of it has to do with me having a boy. I'm scared that he will be like Brandon in all ways. From conception to age 7 he has been difficult. There is only enough room in my heart and life for one Brandon. It doesn't help that Rick and I are fighting over boy names, I feel like I can't bond with the baby until he has a name so I can feel more connected to him. I am officially a mess....

baby news

2009-01-27T15:43:00.000-05:00

It a boy!

Frustration!

2009-01-22T14:43:00.002-05:00

I am so frustrated with the system of things. The paperwork and bullshit you have to go through to get anything done for you family. It doesn't help when your job is cracking down like gang busters about answering your cell phone when it's not your lunch or break. I have been trying to get Brandon's medication taken care. This has been driving me out of my ever loving mind. Constant phone calls between Staywell, Dr. Hubbard's office, Walgreens, and trying to dial the number to switch his medicaid plan from Staywell to Childrens Medical Services or Medipass. The number doesn't even ring, it just goes right to busy. I remember going through this before, and when the phone finally does ring you go through this automated crap and then it hangs up on you. I hope I can get through before the 90-day enrollment deadline is here! I also went to the Janssen website. I printed out some forms that can help get his medicine cheaper or free. He is backsliding so quickly, it really sucks.

New to me mini van

2009-01-14T19:00:00.002-05:00

I did it. I got a mini van and I love it! Allstate finally closed my claim after they totalled my car and wrote me a check. I had to do a little haggling, but with my yard sale skills it was no problem to get the amount I asked for. I even like the mortgage company today, they sent me a check for over payment of my escrow account. I'm so excited that I'm gonna go pay some bills now....

Kinda a ho hum kinda day

2009-01-13T14:14:00.003-05:00

I am way down in the dumps today. It seems like things are coming in around me and I feel overwhelmed. I'm beating myself up over a decision that I made and doubting myself.

mini van browsing for me today

2009-01-11T11:51:00.002-05:00

Decided on doing the mini van thing. Did a little looking today and doing some more today. It should be early in the week when they settle on my car and I know I'll have limited time with the rental after that point. There are some definite good deals out there. 2 of the vans I looked at were listed at least a thousand below kelly blue book. I thought that was pretty cool. The one I thought would be the best fit/van for us is a 2000 Dodge Caravan se, but after looking at the reviews, learned that there are alot of reported transmission problems. Not something I'm gonna want to deal with 6-12 months from now. Dunno. I submitted a loan application to my credit union and will hear back from them on Monday. The ball is rolling.

car update, creamer update, Brandon medication nightmare

2009-01-08T18:31:00.002-05:00

Well, you knew I had me a fancy rental car, it was a 2008 Toyota Corolla, it took me half an hour to figure out how to turn the frickin lights on in the Publix parking lot. Apparently all the new cars have the light turner on-er on the steering column, not a button to push to the left of the steering wheel like all the other cars I have driven. Go figure. Last night some of the girls I work with went to Chili's for dinner and then to the movies to watch Marley and Me. Had a nice time. Went out to the car and when I turned it on there was a warning light on the dashboard. It was a fishbowl with an exclamation point. W-T-F, I didn't even realize the car came with a fish tank, J/K, I know that wasn't funny, sorry. I called the rental place in the morning and they told me it was the tire pressure light. Fishbowl=tire pressure? Wow, I'm in the dark when it comes to new cars. They told me to take it to one of their authorized repair shops and get it fixed, or trade it in for another one. I decided to trade it for another one. Why am I gonna spend my lunch hour getting their car fixed? This time I have a 2008 Mazda 3, which is much less fancy, and way more comfortable for me to drive. I drove to Punta Gorda to collect my belongings and get the tag off of my beloved 93 Buick Regal. I quickly left, because I felt it coming. I got in my rental and started to bawl my eyes out. That would be the last time I ever saw my car.

In creamer news, some bitch threw it out. Game on!

Brandon's med issue started when I went to refill his Invega. His Invega is "the medicine" that has given me back my boy. Invega is 408.79 a month without his insurance. I dropped of this script and then received an automated phone call to tell my they were not able to fill it at this time and to contact his insurance carrier. Called his insurance and was told that as of Jan 1 2009 they have decided to no longer cover Invega, they told me to give him Seroquel or Risperdal. He used to be on Risperdal, but one of the side effects was weight gain, he gained 14 pounds in about 2 months. That's why we went to the Invega. Don't know anything about Seroquel. It's not like he has a headache and the store no longer sells Tylenol, so he's got to take Motrin instead. Now this sucks big ol' donkey balls. Want to know what pisses me off the most? They never sent a letter or attempted to contact me letting me know this. I went to refill his script with him only having a few tablets left. Now what? If they sent me a letter in early December, than I would have had time to discuss a med change with his doctor, taper him off the Invega and add a new one, or eliminate it all together. I don't know about Invega, but most psych meds need to be taped or it can become dangerous. Guess I'll hit it up on the Google later. I put two calls into Nurse Karen, so I'll wait for her to guide me in the right direction.

Oh evil creamer snatcher, I will catch you

2009-01-07T13:41:00.002-05:00

I buy those flavored creamers, it's my thing. I brought a new one to work Monday after writing my name all over it, several times, with black sharpie marker. This morning I went to get some, and there was maybe an inch and a half of creamer in the container. This, IMO is frickin rude. My name was on the container and no one asked me. It should have been left alone. So........... tomorrow, in order to prove a point, I'm going to pour out the remainder creamer into another container, and put milk and salt in it, or leave the creamer and squirt some visine in it. The visine seems a little malicious, but how awesome would it be to see the culprit run out of the building with explosive diarrhea?

pretty, shiny, new rental car

2009-01-06T13:06:00.003-05:00

:0)

I got a car! At least for now.

pretty, shiny, new rental car

2009-01-06T13:06:00.001-05:00

:0)

I got a car! At least for now.

And the mother ship says....

2009-01-06T08:07:00.003-05:00

They want pictures. Then they can review the submittal for approval. Waiting for the body shop to send pictures to Allstate. Am I getting jerked around, or is this just the way things work?

Thursday-Sunday

2009-01-05T09:06:00.002-05:00

Thursday Tori ended up calling me. We went shopping, found some really good deals at Kohl's, had lunch at Ruby Tuesday's, went to Old Navy, and then to Walmart. Had a nice time, had all the kids with us. Brandon and Kaylin were both well behaved. I am learning that I am much less patient than I was before I was pregnant and snap at the kids alot more. That sucks, but they are listening better. So I have mixed feelings about it. I find myself being bitchy, which is not a normal trait that I have. So, sorry to all affected by my messed up hormones. Saturday we cleaned Brandon's room, all four of us. Three black trash bags later, we are almost done. I gave his a few shoe boxes for his "treasures" that he finds meaning in (ie. bottle caps, gum wrappers, erasers, etc..). Sunday we did Christmas with Ricks family. Rick's dad didn't show up, he is still very unstable, and I was sad he wasn't part of everything, but also relieved that there wouldn't be any chaos, just a relaxing evening.

I should hear about my car today. I talked to Allstate and she had submitted her report to the mother ship and is awaiting approval from them.

No work for me today.

2009-01-01T10:27:00.003-05:00

Today I will tackle the mountain of laundry threatening to take over my house. I have also decided to go to Walmart (if they are open) and go grocery shopping and take Kaylin to pick out clothes that she wants to buy with her gift cards. Rick wants to do something, he's thinking about taking the dogs and us on a nature walk. I still don't have a car, and I'm really trying to be a good sport, but my patience is wearing thin. I can't take Brandon to his appointments, I have to get rides to work and back, and I just want my Independence back. Not that I go out alot, but if I want to I can't. Kinda like when I used to smoke. I'd freak out if I couldn't find my pack of smokes or a lighter, even if I didn't need one at that moment, just knowing where they were calmed me down. Kinda glad I quit smoking, I do miss it sometimes though, and it smells so good when other people do it. Okay, enough rambling! Hope you all had a Happy New Years.

It's Wednesday!

2008-12-31T10:46:00.004-05:00

It is new years eve. I'm thinking about all the things I have to be grateful for and all the things that happened this year.

Good stuff...
1. My best friend Tori had a baby
2. Brandon got discharged from his behavior support specialist
3. Brandon got discharged from therapy after meeting all his goals
4. Brandon got approved for SSI disability and now has better health coverage
5. Kaylin is a "young lady"
6. Invega, thanks to new health coverage from SSI
7. Kaylin has gotten awesome grades all year
8. Kaylin really put forth an effort playing soccer this year
9. I was able to pay my mortgage in the month it was actually due.
10. Friends
11. Family
12. Rick and I have become a stronger unit
13. I'm pregnant!
14. Donna is alive and well
15. We are all healthy
16. Gas is more affordable

Not so good stuff
1. Grandma Bonnie passed away
2. Grandma Muggs passed away
3. Donna (Rick's Mom) was found face down in the pool (see #14 above)
4. Dick and his mental health issues (still on going)
5. Car accident (see #15 above)

I'm sure there is more good, and more not so good. I know that for the most part it was an awesome year of growth for our family. Next year will bring more challenges with a new baby and balancing work, the house and three kids.
Happy New Years everyone!

Holy Crap, I survived

2008-12-29T08:20:00.003-05:00

I survived the most awkward weekend of my life. My ex husband (the one in prison), his father and wife came to spend the weekend with us with their dogs. Before he came I explained Brandon to him. He has not seen his grandson in over 4 years, which means Brandon was about 3 years old. I explained how we deal with him, and how he cannot interfere with how we handle him, even if it pisses him off. I also tried to explain Brandon's aspergers as best as I could to an ignorant person. I do have to say that Brandon was awesome. He had major changes to his schedule and people in his area, and for the most part did pretty darn good. I could tell the difference, we had a few minor melt downs, and alot of whining, alot of hiding and covering with blankets, a few time outs, some brushing, and snuggling. No violent outbursts, no throwing things, no 3 hours complete meltdowns while repeating "I wanna get out" for 2 hours. To others he would have been a whiny little brat and to me it was a moment of extreme proudness to all the progress he has made. Last year, it would have been unbearable, this year, it was mostly pleasant.

Allstate sucks, and liars too...

2008-12-23T21:45:00.002-05:00

Okay, so my car got %$@#-ed up on Friday. You know that part. Well I went to the hospital they told me to go home and rest, ya dee dah dee dah. My insurance company, Progressive, had called and left me a message wanting my side of the story. I called the adjuster back and gave him my side of the story. He asked me a bunch of questions, then he told me that my story and the guy who hit me's story were completely different. He told the cops and both insurance companies that traffic was moving and I changed lanes in front of him, so he had no choice but to hit me. This is NOT true AT ALL! I was at a stop light and got hit. His insurance company called me Monday and I gave my statement to them. They won't give me rental car or fix mine until an investigation has been completed. So to that guy who can't tell the truth, I forgive you. And to the Allstate chick Dawn, I know you are trying to do your job. But this really stinks, I will have no car for possibly two weeks or more and I'm tired of people telling me to get a lawyer.

bye bye car

2008-12-20T09:45:00.003-05:00

Okay, had an interesting week. I am finally feeling like a human again, which is awesome. Still kinda tired, but what else can I expect? It started I guess on Thursday, that's when 1 and 2 occurred. 1, my Muggs passed away. She's my "step" grandma, I hate the term "step", she's my grandma, just not biological. 2, Ricks dad was being released from the mental hospital, even though he's still nuts. 3, on my way to work I got rear ended and my car is totalled. So my 3 are done, and I can start the year off fresh. Right?

Wow, I think I'm a human again.

2008-12-15T13:09:00.002-05:00

Well, in the great first trimester fog of pregnancy I became a useless, nauseous, exhausted shell of who I was. At eleven weeks, I think, I hope, that this sucky part is over. I guess I better do some filling in on the events and we will pick up at Thanksgiving. Kaylin was with her dad for turkey break, so Brandon and I went to my moms and Rick went to his moms. My mom's turkey day was picture perfect, joking, laughing, reminiscing. Ricks, on the other hand was not so pleasant. His dad was not so nice, and we ended up calling the police. Shortly after turkey day the police picked him up and admitted him to the adult in patient mental health place. He's angry and not happy with the family. We had our holiday party at work, and had a nice time. It sucked that I couldn't drink, but hey, what can ya do! Ricks was the next day and it was lame. Really lame. I won't get into, it's not worth mentioning. Brandon's therapist came and is discharging him from therapy. Apparently he has met his goals. I am so proud of how far he has come. Last weekend my friends Cathy and Eileen came over from Melbourne to clean my house. What a blessing! I was so overwhelmed with feeling terrible. I feel so much less stressed now.

and one flew over the coo coo's nest

2008-12-04T08:43:00.002-05:00

This time it wasn't Brandon. They picked up Rick's dad last night, as in Baker Act. If I would have been worth anything this past few weeks I would have blogged about Thanksgiving and it's exciting events in which the police visited with us. Rick is obviously feeling overwhelmed and confused. He's scared for his family and what will become of them all after he is realeased. Will he be angry, hateful, and resentful? Will he realize that he has a disease and seek treatment for it? Will his parents get a divorce? Either way, things won't be the same.

My friend Fran had her first chemo on Monday and is doing great!

umm, I dunno?

2008-12-02T11:16:00.002-05:00

Brandon has been feeling much better and is on the mend from a nasty case of strep throat. He made it back to gold level at school and they went to a field trip yesterday to Van wezel and saw Suessical. He really liked it and when he came home had a terrible afternoon/evening. Still not sure what it was all about. He walked in the door from school like that and continued after I got home. The both screamed at each other and were cruel and terrible to each other. I screamed abit, cooked dinner, watched tv,then went to bed. How am I gonna deal with an another one?

Brandon has strep throat

2008-11-26T13:22:00.000-05:00

Brandon has strep throat, nuff said.

no meeting?

2008-11-25T10:58:00.002-05:00

No team meeting today. The wrap coordinator is really sick. It sucks because I wanted to show them all how awesome Brandon is doing. It's good because I don't have the energy to pick up my house. If I don't do it, it doesn't get done. I guess it's a little too much to ask for some help! Oh well, once this first trimester is over I may feel like a human again. That would be nice.

And by the way, the kids are sick and this is the worst week in all of payroll because thanksgiving is on a Thursday.

let the blogging begin

2008-11-21T14:26:00.003-05:00

Well, it's been kinda crappy here in blog land. I've been lazy and neglectful. You see I've got this problem, and i don't feel well because of it. It will go away after another 4-5 weeks or so I've heard..... It's just how it goes. I don't remember it being like this with the first two. I have NO energy. All I can do is sleep. I have never been so tired before. I take a nap at work on my lunch break. I come home and sleep for half an hour before I can do anything. My house is a mess and I'm cranky and whiny. O what fun.

I am the suckiest daughter in the world.

2008-11-18T16:15:00.002-05:00

Yes, you read it here first. Saturday was my dad's birthday. It's easy to remember because it's so close to mine. Someway, somehow, I didn't call him. I know his birthday is on the 15th, I just didn't realize SATURDAY was the 15th. I am his only child, and I totally suck. I called him Monday morning when I got to work and turned the dates on the calender. He said he wasn't mad, but something in his voice said he wasn't happy. I really hope I didn't hurt his feelings too badly. I love him and he is the awesomest dad in the whole fricken world. I win, hands down, suckiest child of the year award......

Short weekend away!

2008-11-14T20:36:00.002-05:00

We are going on a short weekend away. Tomorrow after soccer we will come home and pack our overnight bags and go to the Everglades for fishing and a cheap hotel visit. We won't be able to do this for a long time, Rick just got cut to part time. Not good, bad timing. Brandon got another 100% in school today and said his field trip was "awesome". So I'm excited about getting away, but worried about Rick's cut to part time. What's left after part time is no time....

2008-11-13T18:55:00.002-05:00

Brandon got a 100% in school so he got to pick a prize from the prize bag, but he has been whining and agitated all night. Right now he is in the bath tub. I hope he can self regulate himself. I bath usually re directs him. Tomorrow he goes on a field trip at school to Oscar Scherer Park to learn about nature and pick up trash.

In candle news....In two days I sold $120 in candles. I am running out of jars and scents to make. It seems to be a little too successful. Now people are making special orders and driving me crazy.

I am still cranky and feel kinda blech. Still not smoking and it's a little easier now.

2008-11-12T18:10:00.002-05:00

Brandon saw Dr Hubbard today, she is happy with his progress and so am I. We are going to go a little higher with the Invega and see if that will seal the deal. I'm very tired today, and a little cranky with this no smoking thing but am staying strong. Rick and the kids are doing karaoke in the living room, and I think I will join them. Stay tuned...

okay, I know, I suck

2008-11-11T21:02:00.002-05:00

I realize that I suck lately. I haven't been blogging about Brandon or Kaylin. I just kinda bitch and moan about my own personal garbage instead of the reason I started this blog. My head has been up my ass and I'm sorry. Brandon is doing well. He is sleeping in his bed, which is good, since he prefers the couch. He's not doing as well in school, he's moved to silver level. I took him to OT and she gave me a sensory diet for him, all I've done is read it. I haven't implemented anything into his schedule. If I did, I know it would help him even more. I am more conscious of him and his behaviors. I know where he is at in a mood and how to get him out of it. His meds have been right on target, and he will see Dr Hubbard tomorrow. I guess I've been taken a break from it all. Is that bad? I guess it is and I answered my own question. I should keep going, even when he is doing well.

I quit smoking!

2008-11-10T20:02:00.000-05:00

I quit smoking! I am a nasty mean bitch. Stay away!!!!!

The weekend

2008-11-09T15:31:00.002-05:00

This weekend was pretty nice. Saturday Rick had to work. Brandon, Kaylin and I went to her soccer game and the team totally bombed out. The game was 0-3 up until the last 3 minutes when they scored 2 goals, but still lost. At least it wasn't a shut out. After that we went to Target, I had a baby shower to go to and she was registered there. I picked her up a boppy pillow, got Brandon a halloween costume of Optimus Prime (90% off), bought Tylenol, Tums, and vitamins, and Kaylin picked out a High School Musical III CD to burn onto her MP3 player. We came home and picked up the house, the kids did the living room and their bedrooms, I worked on laundry and the kitchen. I got several batches of caramel pecan pie candles done. Rick came home and I took off to the baby shower at Olive Garden. It was a nice shower, she received most of the things she needed for her baby which was nice. I came home, we got ready and went to Night on Dearborn, Rick's sister owns a shop there and once a month they have an activity where all the shop owners stay open late and do stuff for the community. Last night they had horse drawn wagon rides. The horse was a retired race horse who was injured during a race, these people rehabilitate them and teach the public what they do. The horse's name was Junior and he was a 4 year old race horse. After that we went to Rick's friend Frank's house. I think he had us come with him so I could drive him home! I will post this now and finish up later.

birthday thoughtfullness

2008-11-06T09:42:00.003-05:00

Rick went and did it again, he surprised me. Every once in awhile he does something so thoughtful and sweet it makes me fall in love with him all over again. Rick is your basic burping, farting, scratching, beer drinking, football watching guy kinda guy. He thinks in very basic terms, which is probably pretty good, since I'm pretty low maintenance. Rick is not the love of my life, and I am completely, truly, comfortable and okay with this. Rick is my best friend and our relationship is based on that and our love has grown from our friendship to what it is now. The one love of my life had completely destroyed me and my kids, the man I thought I loved, was someone completely different and our entire relationship was based on lies and deception. If you know me, you know my story. If you don't know me, you don't want to know this story. With Rick I have love, trust, honesty, acceptance, and comfort. To me, that is more important for the long haul. I guess I got a little off track there...last night Rick called to tell me he was running late because he had a delivery in Sarasota, I said okay, no worries. He got home and we ordered Chinese food. We had beef and broccoli with lo mein, General Tso's chicken with fried rice, crab rangoon, egg rolls, and fried dumplings. It was awesome! He then gave me my birthday present, a book by Dean Koontz (which is my favorite author)and chocolate with nuts in a pretty bag and a nice card. Sounds like a normal boyfriend present type thing, right? This is not the typical Rick, he wraps presents in Walmart bags and rarely if ever gives cards. Rick earned himself some boyfriend bonus points.

In other birthday news....my dad sent my vacuum seal bags, 4 lbs of coffee beans, a new cordless phone, and a $50 gift card for amazon. I'm totally excited! My dad has always been the best at birthdays and Christmas stuff. My mom stopped by and gave me a really nice card with a gift card for Bealls outlet. The girls at work bought me some balloons, a card, and made caramel sundaes. Overall it was an awesome birthday.

1st batch of candles are complete!

2008-11-05T09:23:00.002-05:00

I made my first two batches of soy candles last night. I did two pounds of apple cinnamon and 1 pound of Christmas Morning (at Rick's request). They came out pretty good, the color wasn't dark enough. Instead of red, they are pink, but the scent is pretty good. It could be a little stronger. I will do a burn test tonight to check the scent throw and see how the wicks work. I will not make any more candles until the rest of my equipment arrives (digital scale, measuring cup, wisk) that way I can measure things accurately and keep all the batches consistent. I just had to make some last night when the wax arrived, I was so excited.

And Happy Birthday to me! I have two boxes from my daddy. I can't wait until I get home to open them. The girls at work brought in some balloons and a funny card. Casey gave me a gift certificate for my favorite coffee shop. Mmmmm................ Tonight we are having Chinese food for dinner. The rest of the night I will work on washing more clothes. Brandon WAS excited about my birthday until he found out I had to work and wasn't keeping him home from school. Now he hates me and school.

Don't forget

2008-11-04T16:36:00.001-05:00

It's voting day, the day before my birthday. How many people can say they get a president for their birthdays?

I love electricity, indoor plumbing, and running water

2008-11-02T18:51:00.002-05:00

The kids and I are home from camping. Rick stayed another night, since he doesn't have to work tomorrow. We had a relaxing time and the weather was absolutely gorgeous. Saturday morning Kaylin had her soccer game, they won again 3-2 and it was actually an exciting game. We ran home and loaded up the car. Somehow, I'm not quite sure how, we got everything in my car. Two children, 1 me, two tents, one large blue tote, a large cooler, 4 chairs, clothes for everyone, and pillows and blankets all squished in my Buick. We made it to the camp site about 1 pm Saturday and got camp set up, Pat and Tori were already set with their camp. They had to use a trailer to get all the baby shit there. We had PB&J for lunch. The kids had fun catching these giant millipede bugs all over the camp grounds. Rick showed up probably about 6pm, he had to work and do inventory at the store. Tori's mom and boyfriend showed up for dinner and later that night Teresa and Vincent stopped by. Brandon had been not so patiently waiting all day for Vincent to get there and once he showed up Brandon wanted nothing to do with him. Vincent wanted to play super heroes and Brandon didn't. They pretty much fought and disagreed the whole time. Brandon was mad at him for having so much energy. After Teresa, Vincent, Tori's mom and boyfriend left the kids went right to sleep. After awhile I did too, I crawled into the tent and about half an hour later I felt a rock in my back, the air mattress popped. When Rick came to bed he was so uncomfortable he slept in a chair. Now we will upgrade to a queen air mattress instead of the double. I'll look out for one on sale and depending on the price we will get one for the kids. We ate dinner (spaghetti and meat sauce) at the camp grounds and then headed home, I called my dad on the way just to chit chat, I try to talk to him every weekend just to kinda check in. The dogs were so happy to see us, Sadie is still looking for Rick to come. I finally got the car unloaded and right now the clothes are all in the wash, the cooler is emptied, the dishwasher is running, the kids are bathed and comfy on the couch. I think I will sleep like a rock.

Pumpkin Time

2008-10-30T21:10:00.002-04:00

The kids carved pumpkins tonight. They fought, and argued but eventually got it done. It came out pretty cool. Next year I think we will do more pumpkins, but we are going camping this weekend, so I didn't want rotten pumpkins sitting out all weekend. Tomorrow is trick or treat nite, Kaylin will be a witch and Brandon will be Batman. We are going to bring Vincent and his parents with us to meet up with Pat, Tori, and the baby. It should be pretty fun. Right now we have the tents set up in the front yard airing out, and have all our stuff totes packed up. All I have left to do is food shop and pack clothes and other little stuff. I think I'm excited about camping, or at least I will be. It requires so much work, and Rick is pretty useless at this kinda stuff. He just kinda stands around looking like a lost puppy. Tomorrow at work we are having a holiday pot luck, so I'm making chicken and rice in the crock pot. In the morning I'll just throw it all together and then plug it in when I get to work. I'm going to leave at 4 so I can get home and get the kids fed and ready, plus I have to take the tents down and pack them and the car up.

I received an email notification that my candle supply orders are shipping, the first arriving tomorrow, the second by Thursday. Today I ordered more scents after reading how much scent I needed per pound of soy wax. I picked Lavender Vanilla, Lick Me All Over, Love Spell, Stress Relief, Butt Naked, Christmas Tree, Home Sweet Home, Banana Nut Bread and Dragon's Blood. I am getting really excited about this. I think this will be really successful. I can't decide if I'm going to make my own labels and use cloth squares and ties for the lid to give it that country home made look (which they are), or if I will order the labels and just slap them on. It would be more cost effective to do them myself, but my printer kinda sucks. Decisions, decisions....

Wednesday's suck.

2008-10-30T08:34:00.002-04:00

Well this one did. It wasn't bad, I did have a nice evening with the kids, Rick wasn't there though. Immediately after I got home from work I took Brandon to Publix, I was gonna make chili for dinner. I picked up kidney beans, diced tomatoes, Tostido scoops, sour cream, and corn muffins. I had Kaylin brown the ground beef while Brandon and I shopped. While I was unloading the shopping cart, Rick called to tell me he wouldn't be home until after 8pm, he was gonna stop at his tenants and pick up rent, then go to his friends house to hang out for a bit. I reminded him that it was Wednesday (wink-wink) and I had made a good dinner. He told me he was gonna eat at his friends house. The kids and I ate our chili, which came out really awesome, and watched RV. We laughed so hard, it was such a funny movie. I made them smoothies after the movie was over. Rick finally came home, after 8pm, and watched the world series, but what can you do? I had an awesome night with my kids and that makes it good with me.

It's hump day, oh yeah.

2008-10-29T12:58:00.005-04:00

We are half way through the week now. It is hump day. Wednesday's are special for me-when Rick and I first met, he would come over Wednesday nights and bring dinner, usually Chinese, or Stouffers veggie lasagna, some times Superday spinach pizza, we would watch TV and after the kids went to bed, well you can figure out the rest. Wednesday's are usually our night, it just stuck after two years of every Wednesday it has now become a routine. I guess it's nice, but it also makes me feel like an old fart.

I'm at work right now, making some sort of an attempt to look busy, and trying not get caught being online. I just don't have love for this job anymore. It's a paycheck and that's it. There are so many perks to working for this company they treat us well, they pay 100% of my medical/vision/dental, match 4% of my 401 K, and give us two raises a year, plus generous bonuses throughout the year. I am grateful for my job, and I'm good at it. I guess I'm just stuck in a rut. I do the same thing everyday, over and over again. It doesn't excite me anymore, I'm very comfortable in my job which is good and bad. Well enough bitching and moaning about stuped shit. I am extremly grateful for this job, especially with how the economy is right now, most people I know have been laid off, or know someone who has been laid off.

Yippie Skippy, another team meeting...

2008-10-28T21:10:00.005-04:00

Yet another team meeting has come and gone. No one comes to them anymore, most people quit, some have headaches, etc, etc and so on and so forth. We have been in this program for almost 2 years, and only recently have started heading in any sort of direction. Tonight I told my wrap coordinator that we are ready to transition out of the program. Through them I found Brandon's super fantastical therapist, met a really awesome behavior support specialist who graduated us, and got Brandon an OT evaluation and him set up on a sensory diet. The rest was a learning experience. Of course since we had people at the house Brandon got revved up, he calmed himself down and I gave him a bath to bring my sweet little boy back. My mom came, the therapist was here for only a few minutes (she had to leave on an emergency), and my wrap coordinator. I'm not allowed to have a family mentor anymore, but I don't need or want one anyway!

In other news, it is so frickin cold, it like 60 degrees outside! I had to go on my lunch break and buy the kids jackets. Brandon got put on the bus with a blanket, since his jacket didn't fit from last year. I know, I suck. It's not suppose to get cold in Florida, how was I supposed to know? I did find some cute dresses for work, with the color clearance stickers, and a purple shirt that will look awesome with black pants or a shirt. I forgot to add that I am the most horrible-ist mother in the whole world, I sent my bleeding, cramping 11 year old to school! Can you believe it? I told her to take some Midol and get on the bus, she still has at least forty more years of this to deal with. I do feel sympathy for her, I know and you know how it feels. She just can't miss school for 3-5 days every month.

Silly, Hopeful me..

2008-10-27T21:22:00.003-04:00

Okay, well I have a secret. Nothing juicy, nothing you need to pick up your phone and call anyone about. I've always wanted to start my own side business making hand made soy candles and cold process soaps into custom gift baskets. I have wanted to do this for at least 8 years now. I actually have a written out business plan and the whole nine yards. I just don't have the money or the balls to get it going. I'm scared of failure. There it is, my dirty little secret. It goes right along with me dreaming of having a farm with chickens, pigs, goats, and a huge vegetable and herb garden. I made a decision last night, I decided that I was going to start a small part of my dream. I am going to start making soy candles. I ordered some stuff in small batches to see how it goes, I know I can sell the candles at work with no problem, especially with the holidays coming up. I choose Apple Cinnamon, Christmas Morning, Vanilla Bean, Coffee Caramel Cream, and Caramel Pecan Pie as my first scents. Cross you fingers and don't laugh to hard at me...

Forgiven

2008-10-27T13:46:00.003-04:00

Hello. I forgive you, I hope you forgive me for being so hard headed. It was hard to stay mad at you, especially since I love you guys so much. I never read your original post, I just put things together with the comments that were made. It really hurt me by what the other parents were saying. I do all that I can to help Brandon, I'm not a bad parent, and things just suck sometimes. Well, I guess we don't need to play catch up since we read each other's blogs. LOL. Love you

A Girly Girl Day

2008-10-26T14:13:00.002-04:00

Saturday we did Kaylin's birthday shindig. Kaylin, her two friends Brittney, Jess (Kaylin's step mom) and I went to see High School Musical 3, after that we went and got our fingernails painted and we to Chick fil A for some dinner. It was really interesting to listen to their tween conversation about Hannah Montana (which they don't like), Jonas Brothers, and Zac Effron (which they REALLY like). I made some sort of a pathetic attempt to converse with these strange creatures in the back seat of my car, they met me with eye rolling, and "oh my god, your mom is sooooo weird". Oh, well...I tried. Kaylin had some sort of allergic reaction to the food at Chick Fil A, I think I'm going to file a format complaint with their corporate office. Immediately after leaving there, she starting giggling, and giggling, and giggling. I think you get the point, she didn't stop for over an hour. We dropped off all the girls and came back to the house, I packed Kaylin up and sent her with Jess. Maureen had picked up Brandon already, so we were all alone. You think we would know what to do with ourselves, but we didn't. Did we want to go do karaoke? No. Dinner? No. Sports Bar? No. Yet again, I spent a hot, sweaty, steamy date night on the El Jo Bean fishing pier. Didn't catch a damn thing either.

TGIF

2008-10-24T16:49:00.003-04:00

I'm happy it's Friday. The week is finally close to an end. It's been a tiring week, one that I could have slept through if I wanted to. I think it's the emotional let down of my grandma dying, the service, and Fran's breast cancer diagnosis. I just feel drained. This weekend will be a good one though. Kaylin's friend is spending the night tonight and tomorrow Kaylin, Brittney, Brittany, Jess, and I will go see High School Musical 3, while Brandon goes to hang out with Vincent ( Thank you Teresa! ). Afterwards we will get our fingernails painted, and probably eat at Olive Garden. Maureen is suppose to pick up Brandon Saturday night, and Kaylin will be at her dads. That means there is a possibility of going on a date. Hopefully this time we won't eat cheese steaks and go fishing. I'm hoping for romantical, but will take what I can get!

oops

2008-10-23T13:18:00.002-04:00

Ooops, I realized that I am getting away from the reason I started this blog. It's suppose to be about how I deal with Brandon, how I help him to achieve his goals, how we advocate for him, and how we manage as a family. I turned it into my own venting tool where I can bitch and moan and reflect on certain issues. I guess I need this blog more than Brandon does. So instead of from now on focusing on Brandon, I will let this blog go in what ever direction it heads in and see what happens.

Cancer sucks

2008-10-23T11:16:00.003-04:00

This I have decided a long time ago. My grandma Davidson had, and beat colon cancer many years ago. Rick's family member, Vicki, fought and lost her fight with breast cancer. A high school friend, Melissa, is in battle with thyroid cancer. One of my best friends, Fran, just got diagnosed with breast cancer last week and is having a modified radical mastectomy tomorrow. My grandma Bonnie just lost her battle with cancer. It sucks. What do you say? What can you do? I posted a poem on myspace that I found on line, it said alot to me. You are someone that knows some one that has cancer, has cancer, will get cancer, or will be lost to cancer.

Genetics today!

2008-10-22T16:20:00.002-04:00

Today we went to genetics at All Children's Hospital in St. Petersburg today. It was a long drive, and I'm grateful that my mom came with me for the ride with Brandon. We got there 45 minutes early, so we chatted and read. I do have to say that Brandon did awesome, he was so well behaved. They brought us into a room and the physicians assistant, Troy, asked us a bazillion questions about both mine and his father's side of the family. My mom was there to help with my side of the family, I don't know very much about his father's side, and don't care to. I really wish his DNA wasn't involved with Brandon. Brandon can have my DNA, it works just fine. After the assistant asked us every question under the sun. we met with the doctor. She was really nice, she measured his nose, eyes, ears, fingers and cafe au lait spots. She said we would monitor his condition, that he does have characteristics of neurofibromatosis and it would likely explain his learning problems and behaviors. She wants me to take him to the pediatrician every three months to monitor his blood pressure and spine for scoliosis. My mom brought up his leg pains, and the doctor suggested we take him to an orthopedic specialist for that. I still have to take him to the neurologist! So many doctors, so little PTO left...

Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday recaped

2008-10-19T21:47:00.003-04:00

Thursday I worked. I got home from work, got prettied up had Rick drop me and my cousin Amanda (from Ohio) off at Coyotes and we drank beer, played pool and danced with my cousin Amber. Rick picked our drunk butts off. We dropped Amanda off, and went home. When we got home, Brandon started screaming his mouth hurt. And he didn't stop, at all, all night. I did not sleep. Finally I took him to the ER Friday morning, they looked in his mouth and told me to take him to a dentist and give him Motrin. Duh. I called the dentist and she wasn't in on Friday, the office staff called her, and they called me back. They called in anti-biotics and told me to give him Motrin. I went home, went to sleep for an hour, woke up cleaned, cooked, and walked around in a sleepless fog getting ready for Kaylin' s birthday party. Everyone showed up at 6pm. We ate spaghetti, cake, opened presents. Kaylin got over $100 b-day money, two Nintendo DS games, a craft kit, and a goody bag of misc. 11 year old stuff. The people left, I went to bed at 8:40 a slept like a frickin rock. Saturday morning we went to Kaylin's soccer game. She did good, she really tried and it was a good game. They won 3-0 and are undefeated!! After soccer we went to Sam's Club to pick up the deli trays, rolls, and veggies. Then we came home and got ready for the memorial service. I took Kaylin with me to my moms and Brandon stayed home with Rick while I got my moms house ready for company. We went to the church for the service and it was set up beautifully, my mother sung a hymn and the pastor read a poem my mom wrote. I don't think there was a dry eye in the house. Immediately after the service I rushed back to my moms to put the food out and light all the candles. Everything was beautiful. We had a prayer circle and ate, drank and had a good time thinking about grandma. As the night went on people got drunker and drunker. I had to do three beer runs since I wasn't drinking. My mother got bombed they went through 1 box, 2 large and one small bottle of wine. Everyone left at about 1am. I put my drunk mother to bed after washing her face, putting her jammies on, giving her a barf bucket and washcloth. Sunday was nice, I had my bible study in the morning, took the kids to Walmart so Kaylin could spend her birthday money. She bought a MP3 player and a voice activated journal and a DS game. Brandon got a transformer. I picked up the house when we got home, and Kaylin's dad Jim and step mom Jess came for dinner to celebrate Kaylin's birthday. We had a really nice time.

A mixed day

2008-10-15T20:32:00.002-04:00

Today was a weird one of sorts. I had today off. Brandon had his MRI done of his orbits, which he slept through also. Rick drove him to school. I came home and gutted Kaylin's room for company that will be coming. By the time I was finished with her room, my mom called and was ready to go to Sam's Club shopping. We went to Sam's, got what we needed, ordered deli meat trays and left. We went to Walmart and CVS. I dropped her off and left to pick up Brandon from school. I took him to his OT appointment which was pretty cool. She gave me a sensory diet, taught me how to brush him, and do joint compressions. We stopped at The Dollar Tree so Brandon could pick out a birthday present for his sister, and headed home. I picked up Kaylin and went to my moms to visit with my Aunt Jenny and cousin Amanda. We came home and did our home stuff. One of my best friends called and told me she was diagnosed with breast cancer. That really sucks, she's like another mother to me, and a grandmother to my kids. I want to ask God, "why her?", but I know I can't have the answer to that question.

People Suck

2008-10-14T21:04:00.002-04:00

I've decided that sometimes people suck. You all know that my grandmother died, and that I've taken 3 days bereavement (which is outlined in our company manual-3 days paid bereavement for immediate family) well apparently certain people, mainly person, feels that is inappropriate because it interferes with their time off. I'm not saying that that person does not deserve their time off, they do, just as I am to my 3 days bereavement. What I am saying is you should not hold it against me, or ignore, or treat me any differently. Agree? Well you should, it makes sense. I don't think I should feel guilty, and I do. I feel like I'm letting my team down, as they are making me feel that way with their comments. Only Janice and Casey are making me feel alright about it, which I'm grateful for, otherwise today would have been unbearable.

In other news, Brandon is on his new meds and I can't wait for it to build up in his system. Hopefully we will see some benefits VERY soon. Him without Risperdal is not a pretty picture.

Tomorrow I have off. At 8 Brandon has his MRI of his eyes, then Rick will take him to school since he works in Venice tomorrow. Then I pick up my mom and we go shopping for the reception, then I go home and clean until Brandon gets out of school. I will pick him up tomorrow and take him to the Florida Center to get some OT tips from Claire. I hope I will get most of the house deep cleaned for company. I can't even take a day off without trying to stuff as many things into as I can. What is wrong with me?

Sunday, Sunday..

2008-10-12T20:19:00.003-04:00

Sunday I didn't get to sleep in. The door bell woke me up, it was Brandon's friends mom pickup up her son, at 8:30. The nice thing about getting woken up with goo still in my eyes, having Don King hair, is she offered to take Brandon for a few hours. I decided to run errands, since I have been on a mad search for peach tablecloths, plates, cups, and napkins. Well apparently the world isn't ready for peach tableware. First I went to Walmart, if they don't have it, you don't need it, right? Well they didn't have them, and after speaking with my mother, we do in fact HAVE to have peach. I tried Dollar General, Dollar Tree, and LTM Party Supply. No frickin peach. I did by other stuff I needed and it was really nice to go shopping all by myself. After my useless errand running I stopped at the pharmacy to fight with them about Brandon's medicine, since that's what I normally have to do with a new script. Well, wouldn't ya know, there were rainbows and unicorns at Walgreens today. They filled his Invega, billed his new insurance, and that was it. Is was so easy! I was so used to fighting insurance companies and pharmacies and calling doctor's offices to get this kid his meds, and now I don't have to. What will I do with all my free time now? This is all because he's got the SSI disability and medicaid. I picked Brandon up at his friends house, brought him home. He immediately laid on the floor, covering himself up with a blanket and fell asleep for 2 1/2 hours. I guess he was tired! While he was sleeping I went on line to look for peach tableware, and found them on a site, of course I had to pay for express shipping. That is now done, I just pray they get here on time. I took a nap, made dinner, went to my moms house to put sheets on the beds, and talked to my dad in New York on the phone.

On a different subject, a friend of mine who got me blogging by reading her blog, is having a hard time with life. Her daughter is sick and she left her nutbag husband. I left a comment on her other blog about what I thought and hopefully she will take it to heart. I told her before to leave him. He's not right in the head. So I wish her strength, courage, and stability in her upcoming battle with life and the bullshit it can provide.

2008-10-11T17:05:00.002-04:00

Friday night Kaylin had a friend spend the night. We went to Perkins cuz kids eat free :0) and I wanted to go out to eat. We got a bonus at work in celebration of customer service week. Works for me! They did alot of cute things at work this past week. Monday morning the told us to wear team jerseys and had a continental breakfast for us all. On our desks were coffee mugs and nice sayings. Tuesday we had buttons and trail mix. Wednesday candy, noise putty, and a pen. Thursday we had a stress ball which was pretty cool. Friday they had the closing ceremony which they announced the winners of the contests they had throughout the week. At the very end we told we got bonus checks. Saturday morning Kaylin had her soccer game which her friend came with us, afterwards we went to the Dollar Tree and they each got to spend five bucks on what ever they wanted. Oh yeah, the Killer Bees won 3-2. Kaylin needs to try alot harder to play soccer and not be scared of the ball. Her friends mom picked her up this afternoon and Brandon's friend Vincent came over with his mother for dinner, he ended up spending the night. Now they are watching Madagascar playing super heroes.

Tomorrow we will see. I think I will try to go out alone to Walmart and the Dollar General, maybe LTM Party supply to get things we need for the memorial service. I'm suppose to get peach tableclothes, plates, cups, napkins, find the instrumental Titanic soundtrack. and make a liliac and ivy memorial wreath. I also need to go to my moms and get the sheets in the house, bring them home, wash, dry, and make the beds. I really want to get some housework done, although I got a good amount done today. I cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floor, did laundry, changed the cat litter, and did dishes. I'm really tired of my house being in the shape it's in. It's dirty, cluttered, and unorganized, plus stuff needs to be fixed. I work everyday and am torn between homework, dinner, baths, soccer practice, laundry, kids, and trying to make everything work, I just can't seem to make the Martha Stewart thing work for me. Damn that bitch for setting womens standards so high, who can compete with that!

Ramblings and such

2008-10-09T20:22:00.002-04:00

Well, my grandmother passed away after a painful battle with cancer. It started a couple years ago. They discovered she has uterine, ovarian, cervical, and vulva cancer. All you women out there, or those of you who know women if your men--Get a fucking papsmere. Don't have insurance? Go to the health department and they will put you on a sliding scale. It's not that hard and should be a priority. Sorry about that, need to be said though. Back to my ramblings... She had to have everything taken out and reconstructed so she could pee again. A very painful recovery, but she got through it. My mom went up to Tennessee and cared for her surgical sights (she has been an RN for over 25 years) and when all was well, came back home. Well the cancer came back, in her lymph nodes, and lungs, and everywhere, and she got a blood clot. It was inoperable and chemo may have helped drain her lymph nodes to bring down her leg so the clot could dissolve. She said no, and laid in her bed awaiting death. It did not come right away, she held on for most of this year, slowly getting worse. Then my aunt Jenny called and said she was getting close and my mom flew to Tennessee. She got to care for her in her final days, and give Aunt Jenny some much needed respite. She was there when she passed. Grandma was cremated and returned to my mom and Aunt Jenny today. They are all going to drive down here and have a memorial service with a reception following the church memorial at my moms. I am taking 3 days bereavement from my job. I'll take Wednesday the 15th, Friday the 17th (also baby squirrel's birthday) and Monday the 20th. My team leader was not so nice about it, but I am entitled and have the right to be with my family during this trying time.

Yesterday I took Brandon to his monthly doctor Hubbard appointment. She is so proud of his progress and now that he has straight medicaid she thinks they will cover the Invega so we are going to take him of the Risperdal. He gained 13 pounds in a little more than 3 months. We all agreed that the benefits of the Risperdal were to great to take him off of, since Staywell wouldn't cover the Invega. Invega is in the same family, but without the side effect of weight gain. He also won't have to take it several times a day, only once since it is long lasting.

I will end with this...

There is no remedy for love but to love more.
Henry David Thoureau
1817-1862

I would like to ask if anyone is reading this, if they could please leave a comment or suggestion so I know that I am not as alone as I feel.

Filling in the blanks, and some sad news

2008-10-07T10:14:00.002-04:00

We went to Rick's friend Frank's house Friday night, we had allot of fun, ate some hot dogs, kids swam and played and we headed home. Brandon and Kaylin were awesome. Saturday morning was Kaylin's first soccer game. Her dad came and cheered her on. She did pretty good, but held back allot. I think she was worried about how she looked and worried about messing up. I told her I'd rather see her try and mess up, than not try at all because of fear. She was crying when we left the parking lot, I let her go to her dad for comfort, I figured it was important for him to nurture that side of things. He bought her a ball this weekend, so she can practice. Her dad game me all call later and asked me if it was okay if she went in his friends little airplane, I told him I trust his judgement and it was fine with me. After the soccer game Brandon and I went to Walmart, gas station, bank, and pet store. When we came home I laid down and took a nap, when I woke up I got ready for Heather's house warming party and Rick dropped me off. I had a nice time at the housewarming. One of the girls I work with made a total ass out of herself and has been very quiet at work. Sunday Brandon, Rick and I went fishing. We caught 3 keeper snappers and a bunch of little snappers. Pat and Tori came over for dinner and I didn't feel good so I vegged out. We had deer ribs, chicken, steak, au gratin potatoes, and green beans. Kaylin came home from her dads in time for dinner and we had quite an uneventful evening. After company left I passed out, dead tired. Monday Kaylin had soccer practice, in the pouring rain. Brandon had quite a rough evening, trying his hardest to drive me bonkers, so I asked Rick to stay with him while I took Kaylin to practice. I very much needed a break. I grabbed a pink chair, camo umbrella, and a book, found myself a place to plop and read while she practiced. I zoned out into the land of Narnia, since that is what I am reading this week. The first thing the coach said was for them to sit in the mud and get it over with, because they were gonna get muddy and filthy. This coach is really awesome, he really pushed them, and builds them up at the same time. After practice we stopped at the 7-eleven and got milk and drinks. Got home by 8:15, put Brandon to bed and relaxed. I fell asleep pretty early, I guess I'm kinda whooped. The phone woke me up at 12:11 am. It was my mom, sobbing, crying, my grandmother had just died. She did not go peacefully, she went with much struggle and suffering. I'm sorry she had to go through all that, and sorry that my mom had to see all her pain. It sucks, but she's not suffering anymore.

Oh the mail!

2008-10-03T23:20:00.003-04:00

On my way home from work everyday I pull up real close to the mailbox, roll down my window, and grab the mail. So that's what I did today. Yesterday was a good mail day, my dad sent me a little something in the mail, which will help with the electric bill. Today was a mixed bag, two mysterious envelopes, one from the pediatrician, and some other stuff I don't remember now. The two mysterious envelopes were from the US Treasury. Brandon had received his first disability check, and his check that back paid him to when I first applied. Very nice surprise. I didn't think he would receive anything for at least another month, he just got approved last Friday. The envelope from the pediatrician was another story, it was another test order. This time for an MRI of his eye orbits. Her notes said iris cysts, optical gioma and fibroids. No note explaining, nothing for me to call the office and schedule an appointment, no voice mail or messages on the home phone. The doctor didn't call me and tell me why he needed that test, or what, if anything came up on him last MRI. It did say iris cysts which mean's she has talked with the eye specialist we saw on Tuesday. So something is going on behind the scenes. Don't you think?

In other news;
1 I talked to my mom and my grandma is doing really poorly
2 Work was BUSY
3 We went to Rick's friend Franks house
4 Tomorrow is Kaylin's first soccer game
5 Tomorrow is Heather's house warming party

Wednesday and Thursday

2008-10-02T21:38:00.003-04:00

Tuesday the baby sitter called and said her mother in law totalled her car and she wouldn't be able to watch Brandon for most of the week. Normally this would be fine, as my mother can usually help in a pinch. Well, my mother was in her own little world, her mother, my grandmother, who is terminally ill with cancer, is in the last stages of her life. So obviously my mom's mind was elsewhere. She booked a plane ticket to Tennessee for Thursday (today) and tied up as many loose ends as possible here in Florida. Even though she was going through all this emotional turmoil, she DID watch him Tuesday and Wednesday. I asked one of my best friends if she would be able to sit with him Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday, I told her I would pay her what I pay the babysitter, plus mileage. She told me should would think about it and let me know. I sent her a text message Wednesday asking her if she had thought about it.....no response. I sent her a text this afternoon, asking her if she way okay, she responded that she was fine, then I asked her if she could help with the kids today, she said no, the baby didn't sleep very well last night. So I was up the creek, again, and as usual, without a paddle. If you don't know me, I'll tell you this, Thursday's are the very worst, awfullest days for me to leave early. This Thursday was even worse, because one of the senior processors was out on vacation, which left me, the other senior processor, and our team leader with 4 other less seasoned processors. Out of desperation I called Bob, he's my step dad. He said he would do it! I was surprised, he's never watched the kids before. Once he picked up Kaylin from a girl scout field trip, but that was about the extent of his interaction with his grand kids. He loves them, and sometimes even likes them but today was a new thing for us, and I do have to say I think he enjoyed himself. Brandon was an angel, of course..... Once I got home and changed out of my monkey suit, we went to Walmart to pick up Brandon's new glasses. He looks totally awesome, smart, and I don't know if I'll ever be used to him in glasses! I also got their Halloween costumes and some other Walmart type stuff (groceries, deodorant, bubble bath, etc.).

MRI cuteness

2008-09-30T15:23:00.004-04:00

Yesterday Brandon had his MRI. We woke up at our normal time and went to the hospital. On the way I slipped him a Valium and we registered for out-patient testing at Fawcett. They brought him to the MRI room and explained to him what was going to happen. They gave both of us ear plugs and put him in the machine. The wedged his head still and put a big helmet on. The moved him into the big machine and started the test. That boy was asleep in 5 minutes, probably less. I couldn't believe he feel asleep with all that noise, it was like a jack hammer! After the MRI, we had to wake him up. They technician asked him if he wanted to see a picture of his brain. He checked it out, thought it was really cool and told the tech that it sure looked like a smart brain, and it was pretty huge. She got a chuckle out of that. He then asked her if her printer worked, because his mamma's printer didn't work. She told him that it did work, so he asked her to print him a copy because his sister said he didn't have a brain. They printed out a picture for him, I thought it would be piece of paper photocopy type things, but it was a full x-ray paper thing. I was quite impressed, and apparently so were the techs (with Brandon). After the MRI we had breakfast with Fran, I wanted to thank her for all her help. That little boy was hungry, but so was his momma. We said goodbye to Fran and went to check out the Halloween store since we had time between appointments. He picked out what he wanted to be for Halloween, so now I can go back and buy it when I have the money. After our window shopping we went to Brandon's eye specialist appointment. She was really, really nice. Brandon needed glasses and we found out he has a congenital eye defect with causes cysts on his pupils that keep his eyes from dilating. We were finally finished with our appointments so I took him for a Frosty at Wendy's before dropping him off at Fran's. I got to work at about 12:30 and squished a whole day into a half, but that's to my team everything got done. I picked Brandon up at Frans, took him to Walmart to pick out his glasses, we got two pairs. He IS a 7 year old boy. We ran through the drive through for dinner, went home, feed everyone real quick, got back in the car, sped off to soccer, left there at 8, stopped at Walgreen's and got toilet paper and picked up prescriptions. Talk about a busy day!

2008-09-27T18:58:00.005-04:00

Friday I went to the dentist, AGAIN. This time I got five filings in my front teeth. I just have to go back and get my permanent crown and I'm done for the year. Next year I can get another root canal and some more filings. My dental benefits only cover so much a year.

Today has been quite pleasant. I got to sleep in until 10, which is a rare treat. I took Kaylin for her soccer pictures, came home. We started a puzzle last night, the kids and I and actually finished it today, it was one of those 550 piece jobbers. They have been bickering all day, but are actually playing nicely, although loudly. I talked to my dad on the phone which was nice. He lives in New York and I miss him.

Monday Brandon goes for his MRI and sees the eye specialist. I also got a call from SSI saying he was approved and will get full medicaid and $247 a month in benefits. He has a genetics appointment on October 22nd.

Tomorrow is SunSplash. Woo Hoo!!!!

Ear wax maddness

2008-09-25T21:29:00.002-04:00

Yep, I'm lame. We spent the nite doing ear candling. It was actually fun. We are having a contest to see who's ear wax is the nastiest. I actually took the time to post pictures on myspace to have people vote on. I think I better up my meds. LOL

It's Wednesday! Whoo hoo..

2008-09-24T12:09:00.002-04:00

I'm back to work after a day and half reprieve. I'm still stuffy and boogery. Rick is home with Brandon, he took the day off to stay home with him so I could work today. I was really surprised when he offered, it's kinda out of character for him. He really has been more involved with us, which is nice. It was a concern of mine for a long time, it was us and him, now it's a little more like all of us. Kaylin has been awesome, she sat and did her make up work last night from when she missed school. I wonder if she feels more "mature" now, I don't know, but I'll take it while it comes. We cancelled the team meeting last night, since we were all sick. I didn't think it was nice to share with everyone what we've got. Hopefully by Friday we will all be humans again and Sunday we can go to Sunsplash.

I decided to share this blog with some myspace friends, I posted it on my bulletin asking if anyone was interested in reading it. I'm a little nervous about it, people will see how boring my life really is, and I don't want to hold anything back because I'm worried about who will see it. So I won't. If they don't like it, they don't have to read it, ya know. It's my way of venting and looking back to see what progress or how my feelings have changed. It's my therapy.

Well, it's been a week

2008-09-23T19:25:00.003-04:00

It's been a week since I've blogged. We are all sick. Runny nose, coughing, stuffy, fever, body aches sick. All of us. Rick started it, it's all his fault. Friday we were suppose to go to Sunsplash, but who da thunk it's closed on Fridays. We went to Peace River Wildlife Center, it was nice to see the birds they took care of. Then we went to the Shell Factory and played miniature golf and the kids did bumper boats. Friday when we got home, Kaylin started her first period. Shhh..don't tell anyone. She was horrified, I knew it was coming. She acted like she was the only chick in the world that it ever happened too. Saturday and Sunday we were all bed ridden. Rick went to help his dad and brother put floors down in the post office. Monday Rick stayed home with Brandon. Kaylin missed the bus, Rick drove her to school. Then she called and said her ear hurt and she had cramps, Rick picked her up again. I called the pediatrician she wanted to see her, so I left work, which I was more than happy to since I felt like poop, took her to the pediatrician also took Brandon with me since he was pathetically sick as well. Kaylin's ear was a mess, and they wouldn't see Brandon because they couldn't fit him in, but they would see him Tuesday (today). I took off work today and took him to the doctor, he has bronchitis, no school tomorrow. Rick is taking tomorrow off so I can go back to work tomorrow. That was my week. I'm starting to feel a little better, so is Rick and Kaylin, now Brandon is the worst of us.

My busy Tuesday, and my weird Wednesday

2008-09-17T19:18:00.002-04:00

Tuesday I took the day off for a bajillion appointments, well three if you want specifics. It started with Kaylin waking me up that her ear hurt real bad. Rewind to July and you'll read she had double swimmers ear. Brandon had his appointment for his 7 year physical, so I drug Kaylin along with me. The first stop of the day was to good ol' DMV, to get my name changed on my drivers licence. Believe it or not I was in and out in 10 minutes! Then we were at Dr Anurumo's for our 9:30 appointment. Kaylin had the starting of swimmers ear, AGAIN, she was all filled up with snot and fluids. She left with decongestants, ear drops and nose spray. Brandon was overall healthy, and he was complying with the doctor. This is a good thing considering the first time he met her, he hid under the exam table kicking her and screaming. She was checking him out and noticed his birthmarks, I've always called them his angel kisses. He had some new ones I don't remember always seeing, but thought nothing of it. She said they were called cafe au lait's and 1-2 is normal, anything over 5 is fibroneuromatosis, he has 10. I have to take him for an MRI, to a genetics doctor, and neurologist and get some expensive blood test done. Of course I googled it the minute I finally got home, and this in not a good thing to have. I will not freak out until I'm told too. Well, not all the way freak out anyway.. The pediatrician was followed by Brandon's dentist in Venice for a filling. We made it with a few minutes to spare. He sat in the big chair and stated to whine that he was scared. The dentist then told me to reschedule. We were there for not even 5 minutes. That pissed me off a bit, especially since she is a pediatric dentist. Back to town we went, stopped at Burger King for lunch, Walmart for gas, then to Tire Kingdom to get my oil changed. That took awhile, Fran met me there and took the kids. I went to my dentist appointment at 3, was late, got my temporary crown, picked up the kids and headed home.

Neurofibromatosis

2008-09-17T13:17:00.002-04:00

Neurofibromatosis. This is the new word in my house. This is the word that hangs over us all like a cloud, a cloud of uncertainty. Cafe Au Lait, sounds like a delicious coffee beverage, nope wrong about that one. Brandon's angel kisses, aren't angel kisses after all. Now we begin the gauntlet through specialists, and doctors, and tests.

Friday, Saturday, Sunday and some blabbering

2008-09-15T09:41:00.002-04:00

Friday we ordered pizza, nothing exciting there. Brandon made it to gold level in school. His levels are silver, bronze, gold. He's worked really hard for it, he wants to go back to Toledo Blade instead of being at his special school. It's a goal he is working towards, and I think he will be back at him school for 3rd grade. I am so proud of how he is excelling in school, I didn't think it would be possible for quite a long time. He's made so much progress. Sometimes it's hard to see how far he has come when you live in it everyday. Once in awhile you can sit back and see the change, you think back to how things were, and how things are now. Maybe it's us that have changed, maybe we understand things more in depth, and know Brandon better than we did before. I'm not sure which it is, but I am grateful for the progress on all of our parts. We really have grown as a family unit. Sure, I have some complaints, or maybe I should re-word that, not complaints but small issues.

Saturday was relaxing. I washed laundry and did some Craig's List posting to sell a dog kennel, a frog, and a toddler car bed. I emailed pictures to a friend. We went to Walmart, cooked dinner and watched a movie on Disney. It seems like I should have gotten allot more done, but it went by really quickly.

Sunday Rick stayed home with the kids and I went to the dog track with my friend Fran and her daughter Bonnie. It was fun, I really would like to adopt a retired greyhound, what beautiful animals they are. I only lost 18 bucks, but didn't have to buy lunch, so I broke even in that sense. The whole time I kept thinking about how nice it would be to be there with Rick and the kids, I think, no, I know that they would really like it. They had 3 levels the bottom one there were families and it was closest to the dogs. Maybe I can get Rick and the kids to come and he'll want to adopt too. Sadie would have someone to run with, Brody would get a break, and Kaylin would shut up about wanting another dog.

Tomorrow I took the day off from work. At 9:30 Brandon goes to the pediatrician for his physical, 11:15 he gets a filing at the dentist, 3 pm I get 5 fillings. Might as well bang out all my appointments in one day. Then I'll take some time for Brandon to go to the pediatric eye specialist, for his neuro/psych eval, and probably blood work. I took Friday off too. We are going to SunSplash we our rain check tickets.

Patriots Day.

2008-09-11T13:11:00.002-04:00

Today is Patriots Day. Where were you, and what were you doing when the September 11th attacks took place? What are your thoughts? Did you know anyone that died that day?

Friday, Saturday, and Sunday in a nutshell

2008-09-09T09:48:00.002-04:00

Friday
After work on Friday I went to a party a girl at work was having. It was allot of fun and I took a lot of blackmail pictures. It was really nice to get out of the house and just hang out with "the girls".

Saturday
Saturday morning Carrie Phelps came for Brandon's appointment. It went pretty good. She's now going to see him every two weeks. I went grocery shopping. Saturday evening Kaylin's dad picked her up. Rick, Brandon and I went to a sunset wedding at the beach. I could hear the banjos playing in the background. It was redneck. I never met the bride or the groom. She was pregnant, this was his 3rd marriage. He has children from his previous marriages that he refuses to pay child support on. Oh, yeah, he has no teeth either. She was rude, any attempt anyone made to speak with her, she just walked away, never responding to us. We had fun anyway, when Rick's family gets together the fun makes it self. Rick did karaoke with his dad, Maureen did it with Tony, Rick's dad kept doing karaoke and dancing. It was a lot of fun. Brandon swam in the pool and did awesome the whole night. We came home after 2 in the morning.

Sunday
Sunday was Rick's birthday. He slept in late, woke up, fell asleep. I made him a carrot cake. I mopped the floors and ordered Chinese food. Yep, we are party animals.

Argghh...

2008-09-04T19:17:00.002-04:00

Argghh.... Brandon is driving me crazy! He has been whining, crying, screaming, and being disagreeable since I walked in the door. I came home from work and he screamed in his room
for half an hour that he wanted his momma to come home. He was stuck in that mode. It was like that for most of the evening. He would say to us, "why do you hate me?" "Do you want me to move out?" and my favorite, "If you don't get me a drink right now, I'm going to die, do you want me to die??". Right now he has calmed himself down, and Rick is helping him with homework. I am really tired, I just want to go to bed, but there is so much to do around here and no end in sight!

Thought a ma bob

I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run.
Babe Ruth 1895-1948

2008-09-03T12:18:00.002-04:00

Last night when I came home from work, ready for Brandon's freaking out about the germs. Mentally trying to think of where I put the Lysol, he was asleep. Out like a light. I let him sleep for maybe an hour and then tried to wake him up, he was totally exhausted. He DID NOT want to get up. If I let him sleep he would have started his day at 3 o'clock and would fall asleep early. I drew him a hot bath and woke him up enough to put him in it, that did the trick. He ate dinner and took his meds, had some snuggles, brushed his teeth, watched a little TV and went to bed at a decent hour. He woke up with only a little resistance today, he was upset because he wanted Rick to go to the school and have lunch with him. Rick couldn't, I couldn't, we both felt bad, but I just can't, and Rick doesn't have a scheduled lunch time. He was upset about getting on the bus, but did. He's such an odd little bird sometimes.

Failure is not falling down but refusing to get up
--Chinese Proverb

A Labor Free Labor day

2008-09-02T12:21:00.004-04:00

It was a labor free labor day. We lounged the morning part of the day. Brandon got his freak out on. It hasn't been often that we have been seeing this kind of behavior, so when he shows it we actually have the energy to deal with it. I asked Kaylin to go into her room and lock the door so he wouldn't hurt her. We talked to him, but he was past that. He started screaming and swearing, throwing things, hitting and biting. I'm still trying to figure out the trigger on this one. Our goal with therapy has been to catch him before he escalates and redirect him. Most of the time, that works, you have a very small window to redirect behavior before he gets "stuck" and there is no reasoning, no talking to him. Brandon is no longer there. He repeats the same thing over and over, sometimes longer than 45 minutes. Then he cries for another half hour, then, if we are lucky, he falls asleep and wakes up a new boy. If he doesn't fall asleep, he will cycle through and be kinda snuggly and insecure, then there is Brandon, back like he was never gone. We got past that melt down and putted around for most of the day. We wanted to go to the beach, since it has been raining all weekend. We called Pat and Tori to see what they were doing and they were already on their way to the beach. We started to make lunch so we could meet up with them, I told Brandon his lunch was ready and he was asleep on the couch, out cold. I let him sleep while I packed up the beach stuff. Tori called and told me all the beaches were a mess because of hurricane Gustav and the only people at the beach were surfers and it was all churned up and nasty. We ended up meeting them at Boca Grande, at our sweet little fishing spot. It has shaded, tree covered areas. We relaxed and chit chatted while the boys waded out in the muck and fished. Tori wanted to go out to dinner, since it was her birthday. She wanted to know if we wanted to come. I told her as long as it isn't too late or expensive. We ended up going to the Lock and Key on Manasota Beach. We got there after 9. Everything on the menu was ridiculously priced. Dinners were over 18 bucks. Rick, the kids, and I shared appetizers. Tori and Pat ordered big old giant dinners, with appetizers, drinks, and dessert. We got home at 10:30, which was too late for a school night. Brandon woke up being an asshole. I say that because I mean it. He was truly an asshole. I barely got him dressed before the bus came. He called me a bitch and punched me in the face. It was a lovely morning (comment dripping with sarcasm).

He did have a good day at school today. He got a 96% on his point sheet. He called me when he got home. He was really upset that the babysitter brought her kids today. He was freaking out about there germs all over the place. I told if that mommy wouldn't let the germs hurt him and would make them go away when she got home with her magic spray. This actually seemed to help and he said he would be nice to them.

lazy day

2008-08-31T23:05:00.002-04:00

It was a lazy day today. I loafed around, folding laundry, napping, chatting on the phone. Ya, know, a lazy day. I got out of my pj's around 4 o'clock and took a shower. We made a nice dinner and relaxed with my kiddos watching Herbie. I enjoyed watching Lifetime movies about amnesia and love. The laundry got folded AND put away.

Thought thingy

In science the credit goes to the man who convinces the world, not the man to whom the idea first occurs.
Sir Francis Darwin
1848-1925